Really depressed about work, what should I do?

[beanstalk]

Very long background story here which I will try to summarise:
Successful and respected career within a city firm back in 2005/6, took maternity leave 2006-7. When I came back, my role was effectively redundant due to structural changes within the company. However I was kept on and given same pay and same job title BUT not the same work as before maternity leave. I have complained and complained and kept getting brushed off until I threatened them with a tribunal in January for not offering me a proper role of equivalent status on returning from maternity leave. Their response was to come back with a 'suitable' role and job description and to offer me a role similar to the one I had been doing. Since then I have found out I am pregnant and have been very ill (severe morning sickness and thryoid problem) which has prevented me from actually doing the job they have offered. They have been helpful and allowed me to work from home and given me work that can be done from home. However I have no experience of the work they have given and am really struggling to motivate myself.
Basically, I have got myself into a really negative place over this job and am creating quite a lot of stress for myself and don't know how to break out of it. Leaving is not an option at the moment financially, how can I get my head around things? I don't think they can actually offer me a role that will match my experience and have refused my request for redundancy. I feel trapped and even though I only have months until I will go on maternity leave I don't want to feel so miserable.
I can't tell anymore how much of this is in my head.
Can anyone help me gain perspective here?

Hi, from an employers point of view they have offered you another job rather than make you redundant, probably so they dont have to pay you redundancy. Your hands are a bit tied at the moment. have you thought about doing a couple of one day courses to help you with the part of the work you havent done before? Your employer should pay but if they wont ask about some inhouse trainnig. i think they have to at least give you that. An option you have is to go to your doctor and get a sick note due to stress and even say depression which is not good for the baby, that way you are not taking maternity early. then go back to work for a couple of weeks before going on maternity? You will only get sick pay but at least its something. Once on maternity then you dont need to worry about it until you go back to work - or even look for another job whilst on maternity.

You could look at it this way, its a new job within the same firm and you are learning new things which will benefit you in the long run if you wish to leave for somewhere else. You also need to consider that you could have been made redundant and then you would be without a job, and in the position of being pregnant would really really struggle to get another job. Keep saying each day that you dont care, if it all goes pear shaped you wont be around to sort it out in a few months, your boss will have to deal with it!!!! and thats what they get for putting you in that position

Can you go and speak to your GP about the way you are feeling, you do sound as if ou may be suffering from depression?

Going back to work after mat leave especially going back part time is quite a big change to deal with. I personally really struggled with it.

Your employer sounds as if they really want to keep you so obviously have a lot of respect for your work.

It is only a couple of months until you go off on mat leave so i would just hang in there. It will be easier going back from mat leave to an employer you know than finding another job. Then you can think properly about sorting this all out and leave if you feel that's necessary.

Thanks for your replies. I think going to see my GP could be useful. I don't feel entirely comfortable going off sick long term, but maybe I need to put my baby first and see what the GP thinks.
I am well aware how awfully self-indulgent I must sound in the current climate, but I really would welcome redundancy. The company has paid 1 months salary for each years service recently to others made redundant, a similar payout for me would see me through until maternity leave (I have 6 years service) and I simply cannot go back there after this baby. DH and I are making plans for the long term so that I will stay at home until DD1 is at school. So it really is a case of seeing it through until September but I have ground to a halt trying to cope emotionally. Maybe you are right trixy, will see my GP.

Thanks again.

I think going to see your GP is a good idea. You admit that your illness is preventing you doing your new job, and you also say they are actually being very supportive in allowing you to work from home and giving you appropriate work to allow you to do that.

The trouble is you have been in a mindset for a while that you really don't want to be there and want a nice redundancy payout instead so you can stay at home during your pregnancy instead of having to work, and are resenting the fact that this hasn't happened for you. I'm not blaming you for wanting that, but I think it's very much colouring your view of what's actually happening because you are comparing what's happening with your ideal scenario of not having to work at all and having a payout. You shouldn't be comparing it to that.

How pregnant are you? You can go on maternity leave at 29 weeks and could go on 'holiday' maybe 2 or 3 weeks before that, so you could potentially finish work at maybe 26 weeks.

I think you need to forget about redundancy, it wasn't going to happen, it would have been nice, but you need to leave it behind as an option so you stop feeling so resentful. You need to then start thinking about ways you can make the next 14 or 15 weeks or however long it is, more bearable for you. Think of it as a defined period of time that you have to do this, and work out what actions you can take to make it a bit easier for you to cope with until you can go off for good.

Hi flowery, yes you are right, it is colouring my view. But only because it seemed to me the only way out. I'm not going to be able to find another job let's face it, and can't afford to just quit. I know I need to find another way to move forward, that is why I posted.
It is hard adjusting from being successful in my career before children, to working part time and effectively being demoted. I don't have the same status or challenge in my job and I feel guilty for not being a full time mum. So an unhappy balance for me. I am just not really coping with working full-stop and I know it is not the company's problem, it is mine. But until I can sort things out longer term I just need to get a more positive mindset, and that is what I am struggling with.
I am only 12 weeks by the way, so have some time to go.
Thanks for your reply, I guess I just needed to vent and I have to go away and figure my head out!