Feeling that I will never have a 'career'!

[ForFoxSake]

Excuse me for feeling a bit whingey here....

I am 38 and really want a career but feel it is getting too late in life to make another new start.

I have been a SAHM to 4 DCs who are now all at school. I retrained for a new career but after trying to break into it for 3 years part time I have given up work and this career as was torn between long long hours required at office and demands of family and home life (which completely gave to the job).I now want to start up a business on my own and have an idea and seen Business Link etc so all go but wonder how far I will go with this before I succumb to pressures of family.

I know there have been lots of threads on the old question of balancing work and home but I want to hear from Mners who have successfully started a new career post DCs.

thanks

bump bump

I can't help, but something to think about:

We're not likely to get a state pension before we're 67 (certainly 65). I suspect by then, health permitting, the powers at be will be quite happy for us to work longer!

That gives you c.30 years of work/career ahead of you.

Thirty years ago you were eight years old - think of everything you've done in that time. It's not too late.

I began my existing career aged 30 by enrolling on a Librarianship MSc course. There were lots of people older than me doing the same thing.

My mum went back to teaching when she was 35 - she'd only taught for 2 years before giving up to have me and my brother.

thanks Shona. I really appreciate your post.

I know I can do something valid (does that sound weird) and I will do it. Just get down every now and then that I am not actually doing it!

Needless to say the family feel it is better for me to be at home but I do feel that I would be a better 'me' if I was on a path to somewhere.

Good luck FFS - you have ambition so that' half the battle. Starting up your own business will be a lot of work, but well worth it as you can control a lot of what happens and how much time you put into it.

I did it the other way around, had the career then the dc! don't miss the career as such - miss the money though !

agree with shona re 30 more years! i plan to have a go at artistic pursuits for the next 20 then something entirely different for the 20 after that - God willing!

and you are on a path to somewhere - you are clearly wanted at home so that's great. can you rope the family into helping you in your new business venture, if they are part of it maybe they will enjoy it too and see that having additional strings to your bow is good for you.

good luck

thanks messy. Just out of interest....is it 'enough' for you to be a SAHM? Controversial I know but I always wondered about those who did it the other way round as I wish I had done. Obviously depends how much you loved/loathed your old career!

I absolutely love being a sahm - for now...as my dd only diddy, but when she gets to school i know the boredom and repetitive nature of housework etc will most likely get to me, so am making plans for something part time - best of both worlds.

Yeah, i loved my old career, plenty of travel, plenty of money, and it was fun - but, careers are different to jobs and they can become all encompassing as mine was and it was only when i decided to jack it all in, i met someone and heigh presto, along comes dd!

I don't miss the meetings, or the hideously early starts, leaving in the dark and getting home in the dark - grim grim grim! but i do miss being seen as me, rather than dd's mum. the stress levels are about the same, just different topics. never knew trying to getting a toddler to eat something other than cheerios was as stressful as managing a meeting of 20 hostile men and lil'ol me!

got to do what makes you happy as you will be a happier mum too! go for it!

I just wanted to jump in as I'm quite excited at the moment with my new found career AND still being a SAHM.

I started off as an Avon Rep and enjoyed the fact I was doing something. It was also something I could do with ds. He loves delivering the books with me and it knackers him out too LOL

In the past couple of months I have started as a Sales Leader which means I recruit others to do Avon. I do about 4 appointments and week but plan to increase bit by bit as ds gets older and goes to school. It is providing me with enough so I don't have to leave him for part time/ full time work AND it is rewarding helping other mums do the same. It keeps me sane.

There are people out there living the high life as Avon Sales Leaders (BELIEVE ME) they are minted and I live in the hope that with my growing team I will also find a new career and earn great money while still being here for ds. It is your own business and therefore you do your own hours.

Just food for thought.

I am the same as MM and felt stuck in a rut with old career and also don't miss the meetings, travel, early starts and just plain boring long hours at work.

Good Luck though hun xxxxxxxxxxx

well done lisa! sounds as though you have really found something that works. Really hope you make your million!

messy good to hear you love being at home with your DD. I remember the days of being home with DD1 were the best days of my life as I didn't want to do anything other than look after her and house. It was blissful. Now too many DCs and want to escape.

However, get the feeling on here that it's probably not as easy as I think for those who had a career pre children to step back in to same career each time...but then I suppose it depends on the career/job and how long you are out for?

Feel I have certain regrets about not having a career in my past to identify me....which I know is being a bit hard on myself.

HI ForFoxSake,

Agree with the others that your age is no barrier to a new career and it sounds as though have some clear idea of what you want to do.

Key thing though is to get your head in the right place. You are concerned about "succumbing to the pressures of family life" and you say that your family feel that it is better for you to be at home. Balancing (or integrating) home and work is always going to have its difficult points, and to deal with those you have to be strong within yourself, clear about what is motivating you, determined about what you want to achieve, and you will need the support and help of others around you.

Setting up your actual business is part of the equation, and equally important is establishing the support network to keep you going when things are tough - whether that is family, friends, a network of local businesswomen etc.

Good luck.

will watch this with interest. In v similar position, not sure of my options either. At least you have ambition though, that's half the battle.

Thanks clever, you talk alot of sense. DCs are getting older now and can cope without me. They do in fact like me to be successful and out there doing something and I think they feel quite proud of me....it's just that life is easier for everyone if I devote all my time to the family.

Old dilemma. I really really want to do something for me and don't want to wait another 10 years until they have left home. I am not in to cleaning that much!

Ran to the hills - hi, what's your situation?