don't want to go back

[benandoli]

I am a teacher (SENCo) and I have always loved my job. My employer has agreed to let me go back initially 2 days per week and of course I will get all the school holidays. I am due to go back in two weeks and just keep getting upset about it. Why do I feel like this after ds1 and ds2 I looked forward to going back but this time with dd1 I just get upset everytime I think about it. Is it because she is my last baby, because shes a girl , because there is so much more to do at home with 3??? I just feel so guilty everytime I look at her! Help and advice please??

My sympathys Ben i also did 3 days in school but when dd2 was born , dc3 i just couldn't face going back.
In the end i took the full year off hoping i would feel differently.
I didn't and chose not to go back. Things are very tight money wise. But i had the 'last baby' sadness too.

I did feel an element of this with the other 2 though and once i went back it wasn't as bad as i imagined.

Good luck and whatever you decide you have no need to feel guilty , easier said than done though!

I'm not looking forward to going back to work (in 7 weeks) after my mat leave with DS2 because I feel like I'm (1) too tired, (2) too busy, and (3) enjoying the boys so much more than when DS1 was just a wee baby. I'm really hoping it'll be okay once I'm back.... holding your hand for support...

Thanks for the advice. i think if I am really honest it's the last baby sadness that is the worst and it is all tied up with still not really being over three miscarriages that i have had along the way. It also comes as a big shock when you have been career driven to have a change of priorities and that you are going to work for different reasons ie money.

Hello all, I'm new today and found the forum on my lunchbreak at work. I am also a teacher and thought going back to work after having my little girl who is now 16 months old (she was 9 months old when I initially went back) would be okay. I now deeply regret my decision to return full time. I work in a secondary school and am now trapped in the roller coaster of parents' evenings, reports, marking, exam preparation. I used to love my job but I can honestly say I would rather forfeit my salary for time with my daughter. The only light at the end of this depressing tunnel for me is to get pregnant again and then leave. This is mine and my husband's hope and the only thing keeping me going, oh and this forum now!

ive been feeling like this for a long time now, i went back to work part time when ds was 5 months old and at first enjoyed the break from the monotony of looking after a baby, esp being on my own, however im now 6 1/2 months pregnant with dc2 and feel soo stressed out juggling work and home that i dont see myself coping any better if i return to work the after this baby is born. i only work 3 days a week but i find that i end up doing nothing in the house on the days i work, letting it all build up and then when im off its all so overwhelming that i keep putting off jobs and chores, im so stressed with it and im taking it out on ds. the more i think about it the less i do and the worse it gets. im thinking that if i dont go back to work i'll have a more regular routine and be able to coe better with everything. financially though i would be dependant on OH which i really wouldnt be happy with. i like my independance. im torn at the minute about what to do.

scotmummy I went back fulltime and then did get pregnant much earlier than we'd originally planned pre-kids. Ours our two years apart. This time I'm just going back part time.

breaghsmum does it make you feel better if I promise it's easier with two than being heavily pregnant with one?

benandoli the last baby sadness is totally true - it makes me broody but we don't really want another DC. Sorry to hear that you had three miscarriages - that must have been very hard.

And yes, I was really career-driven and I struggle with the idea that I'm not any more. How does that change my sense of self-worth?

Benandoli, my situation is very similar to yours. I am a teacher and going back two and a half days a week, and I 've just had our third - well last August, she's 7 months now.
I didn't realise but I think I've got that last baby sadness also.Even tho I managed to leave dd1 and dd2 t around the same age and coped, I'm now feeling like I can't leave dd3.

I am a primary teacher and going back in 2 weeks (3days). DD will be 10mths 3 wks (first baby). I have taken the full yr maternity leave and dreading going back. I am shattered even thinking about it.

I have 10 weeks of maternity leave left at the moment from haveing my second & I have no choice but to go back full time & feel sick even thinking about going back to work.
I would give anything to work part time & am envious at anyone who is at the moment.
I too have the last baby sadness.