Back to work tomorrow, Mum is having dd...

[lauraloola]

Should I pay her? She is having dd 7 - 1 on Mondays, then coming up 3 days a week for an hour or more a time.

She doesnt want money and we can only afford to give a little but I dont want to take advantage. What would you do??

I would be offended if my daughter offered me money to look after my own grandchild (hypothetical)

Just let her know how much you appreciate her, that's probably all she wants!

I thought for a moment that this thread was started by my lovely DIL

She goes back to work tomorrow and I am looking after my first (and only) grandchild - I am excited, nervous, worried, happy all rolled into one. My poor DIL does not want to go back - she has had severe PND.

I have told my DS and DIL that I dont want to be paid at all - my mum did it for me and Im passing on the favour.

I think just little gestures....hand written thank you notes, flowers maybe, just little treats would be really appreciated. Good luck for tomorrow and I really hope everything works out well

My mum has DS 2 days a week at the moment. I don't pay her (she would laugh in my face if I even suggested it), but I do make sure any activities are covered (swimming, softplay etc) and make sure that she knows that if she needs anything, I'm happy to pay for it. Me and Dh also try to treat her now and then with a nice meal out or tickets to something or whatever, just to let her know we don't take all she does for us for granted.

Use the little money you can afford to spare to put aside and every now and then buy her some groceries or a bottle of wine and flowers or put petrol in her car, just to show your appreciation.
Good luck with going back to work!

Thanks everyone. She refused when we offered. Good ideas about treats and meals out.

She is like you Shabster - She cant wait to have dd to herself! I dont to go back either but Im sure once Im there and settled back in it will be like I was never away but with the bonus of getting home to dd.

Thanks again

If she won't accept money then that's that.. but just be careful not to take advantage, and also be prepared to accept that if the situation changes in the future (eg if your mum finds the hours resricting, or if you come up against something you aren't happy with, and maybe want your child to be with other youngsters) then you may need to re-negotiate.

Hope today went well for you. Our day was much better than expected even though my GSon and his Mummy both shed a few tears - he was a good boy and I think Mum secretly enjoyed work

I am cream crackered though!!

Bless you!

Follow the advice given, and all will be well.

Good luck for tomorrow! she's with family and what could be better than that?

I look after my dgs 2 days a week for my dd ..would never expect to be paid ...I love having them

I loved it!! I nearly cried when I left dd but was ok, she is only 8mo so she doesnt understand! I think my mum was worn out too Shabster!

Im back to work this afternoon at 4pm and cant wait.

I think I will get mum some meal vouchers for a pub her and my dad like. Thanks everyone.

Your DD is the same age, roughly, as my DGS - he was born on the 8th June! Glad you enjoyed it and the vouchers sound a great idea.

DD was born on the 11th of June!! She cried when I came home from work then just sat looking at me and smiling!!

She started crawling at the weekend so Im glad to escape for a while

I would get her practical things as well as the thankyou meal
Things like a annual pass to the local zoo or somewhere she likes to go that she take your dd too, National Trust places that kind of thing

That is a great idea compo - We live near to Longleat and Cricket St Thomas so I will look into that.

My mum won;t take money but when she started taking DS a bit more I paid for her to have a cleaner in occasionally which she did accept.