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Original poster

Single mum, Don't want to return to work!

13 replies

Longo · 25/02/2009 10:26

I am a single mum and I'm due back to work 14th April, I'm getting upset at the thought of it! My DD is 7 months and i live being at home with her, she is everything to me and frightened of missing something!
As a single mum can I choose not to go back to work and claim benefits? I've worked since i was 16 and had always loved working but things have changed! There are no good nurseries around where I work which is making it harder!
Any advice would be great!

OP posts:
BonsoirAnna · 25/02/2009 10:29

I would go back to work if I were you - for the long term financial position of you and your DD.

What about a CM? Can your DD's father or his family help out with childcare while you are at work? Can yours?

conniedescending · 25/02/2009 10:32

I would also go back to work. Once you are on income support it is very difficult to get off it. Have you considered part time/ flexible working options?

There are tax credits that will top up your salary.

Why are the nurseries bad?? and have you considered a childminder?

SlartyBartFast · 25/02/2009 10:34

i went back when my ds was 10 months, it is such a wrench, it is a particularly lovely age but - is it part time? - it will be good for you i promise,
what is exactly wrong with the nurseries?

JulesJules · 25/02/2009 10:39

I know it is really hard going back to work, but I would go back if I were you. Can you go back part time, can you get family help with childcare for some of the time?

expatinscotland · 25/02/2009 10:48

They don't call it a benefits trap for nothing.

You don't go back to work and wait till your child is older and you may find yourself at a huge disadvantage against other applicants and find it hard to get a job at all.

FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine · 25/02/2009 10:50

Can you negotiate going back for 20 hours a week with your employer? I think that you would get really good working tax credits if you did that AND plenty of time with your DD.

I had to go back to work (pt) when my DD1 was six months. I dreaded it, but once I got back I really enjoyed it and my time with my DD seemed even more precious.

Regarding benefits people often recommend www.entitledto.co.uk to check benefit entitlement. I think that you should talk to someone at the Jobcentre to see what your position would be if you voluntarily give up your job.

ForeverOptimistic · 25/02/2009 11:08

I agree that you will find it hard to get back into the workplace.

It is interesting, I had a similar dilemma when I was due back to work. I am not a single mum so giving up work didn't mean that we were entitled to benefits but it did impact greatly on our financial situation. I asked for advice on Mumsnet at the time and nearly everyone said that I should give up work as I would never get those early years back. Funny how times and attitudes have changed over the last few years.

As much as I have enjoyed being with ds, I have to concede that giving up work ranks as one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life. For every job I go for I am up against at least 20 other candidates, my 15 years experience that I had now counts for nothing. I am considering retraining for a new career but in the meantime I need to somehow "magic" food on the table.

SlartyBartFast · 25/02/2009 11:09

that is interesting fo

Oblomov · 25/02/2009 11:57

Expat, feel like I am stalking you, in last few days. Sorry. Have CAT you.

abraid · 25/02/2009 12:07

I think people do feel differently when benefits are involved, ForeverOptimistic. The taxpayer wasn't paying you to stay at home--your husband/partner was working.

Original poster
Longo · 25/02/2009 12:59

Thank you for your advice ladies!
I have no family support so she definately would have to go in a nursery, the nursery's that are closest to my job have both been shut down in the past by ofstead and have been in the local paper for children escaping!
I am worried about the benefit trap but I went in for a catch up day last week for 4 hours and sat there thinking about DD and worrying, she was in a day creche which is only available as a one off!!
So confused now!
I work in a youth hostel and the hours are a bit funny, DD's Dad has said he will help as much as he can but works away!

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 25/02/2009 18:18

I'd try and find a nursery or childminder you feel comfortable with - sooner or later you have to leave you child at school etc.

Working part time will mean you can claim WTC as well as keep any child maintenance. On benefits you can only keep £20 a week of it and the rest is deducted from the IS. It will also mean you always have current experience etc so if you want to increase hours etc when your LO goes to school it will be easier.

ForeverOptimistic, I think the advice re being a SAHM will always be different depending on many factors. Being able to afford it as a family is completely different to expecting the tax payer to support you when you are capable of working.

kittycatty · 25/02/2009 19:12

Hi, Things are changing, single parents are being taken off income support(and not having to find work) and being put on job seekers allowence and forced to find work of 40hrs a week. Dont give your job up, speak to your employer about working less hours.

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