Got to go back full time even though I don't want to.

[Stefka]

I am lucky to have secured a job but it is full time which was never my plan. I always wanted to be a SAHM but was happy to work par time. It just hasn't worked out though - there have been no part time jobs and I can't afford to not take this opportunity and indeed am thankful for it.

But it is also killing me. Everyone around me is all happy that I got this job and I keep thinking yes but what about DS. He's 16 months now so I realise I have been lucky to have had so long with him but somehow the thought of him not being with me for so much of the week just feels wrong.

I know I will just have to grin and bear it is going to be very hard.

I really sympathise. Is there any way you can ask for flexible working once you've been in the job for a little while and they can see you work hard?

I think this will be possible after a certain period. Not sure how long. It's not forever I know but I still feel kind of heart sick.

You have my sympathies completely. I too am very lucky because unlike so many others in my profession I have a safe job. I fought long and hard to get a part time return and I have - of a kind (just 2 afternoons off) and my boss is already going on about how he doesn;t believe it is going to work out. It is going to be reviewed after a month so who wants a bet that they are going to try to force me to go back full time after that. I can't leave them if they do - in this market it would mean unemployment - and like you I ache to be a SAHM but have a hefty mortgage to meet.

You have had longer than most with your DC being 16 months yes, but they are still too young really, they need their mummies, and I believe, their mummies need them so you are completely entitled to be sad about this.

Sorry this probably isnt helping much but I just wanted to say you are not alone - and I suspect there are 1000s more out there like us. Just remember that we are doing what we have to do for our children. Hopefully you may be able to get part time further down the line - keep putting that application in year after year - and in the meantime try not to get abused, know your priority and leave on time etc.

Good luck with it all. You are a very good mummy and don't forget it!

Thank you - it is really nice to just be heard. When the job came up I told people I didn't want to go for it and they all seem to have forgotten that. I am lucky to have got it and I am excited about it too but still really sad.

Hi Stefka,
I just read your post and my heart goes out to you - I went back, part-time, when dd was 16 months and it was tough but do-able. However things are getting tricky and I'm thinking how to get out of work now.

We are reassessing budgets massively and reassessing priorities.

I just wondered if there was any way you could not work and take a little longer? Do you need the job to pay the bills or do you feel pressured to go back for your careers sake?

Just a thought...

As the previous post said, you're doing a great job and yes, we are all just trying to do the best for our babies whilst trying to cover costs! ood luck with your decision....

A bit of both. Jobs are scarce and the good thing about this one is it is very close to home and a good opportunity. Competition for jobs has been tough and there have been so few opportunities and I am quite new to the profession so there is a definite career pressure there. Also DH does not currently have a secure job and although we hope he gets one soon we can't be sure he will so it gives us a bit of security. Lots of good things I know but it still feels hard.

Last night I could hardly sleep and when I did I dreamt that I had to leave DS lying around on floors to sleep. Not nice.

Hi,
If you have been working for your employer for 6 months fulltime (there are other requirements too) you are elgible to make a Statutory Flexible Work request.

Since becoming a Mum I have setup 'FlexReq' which offers a FREE service to parents help make their statutory flexible work request to parents employer. This means that both employer and employee must follow a set procedure to ensure that both sides feel their request & concerns are seriously considered.

Please contact me if you would like more information, help etc, it is totally FREE to Parents no strings, hidden costs etc as all help is given via email from my home.

Working families is a charity that helps parents with free legal advice regarding employment www.workingfamilies.org.uk

il be looking at that minniesandra,thanks.

stefka...i am in the same boat.nightmares havent started yet but i feel terrible too.

Just to clarify, I am not working for Working Families charity, but just wanted to let you know about them (I am however an Associate Supporter). I can be contacted on [email protected]