I have recently returned to work after 18 weeks off with stress. The factors were many including work, degree, dh, young kids...the usual.
Anyway, things were getting back on track and I organised a childminder. Dh didn't want or have any involvement in the selection process, other than to accompany me to visit 3 of the 4 we saw.
I decided to go with the fourth one we saw for various reasons and was very happy with my choice. She advertised one of the highest rates but I would rather have a good minder than a bad cheap one.
She gave us a fabulous deal £3.75 an hour for 2 kids aged 2.5 and 15 months) so I was even happier.
My sister picks them up 2 days a week and dh and I work the rest of the days between us (I always drop them off).
They have been with her for 5 weeks now, ds is very happy there, loves the minders kids and has no problems at all. I was worried that he would be difficult because he is very picky about who he likes and who he doesn't, but he is fine. dd is a little more difficult but she is younger and is used to having me with her. I do call intermittently and listen to the background noise and I never hear the kids crying, usually I hear ds playing or laughing.
The second week they were there, both dh and I picked the kids up together and the minder had a huge black eye. Neither of us mentioned it but dh went mad at me when we got home, saying I should have asked how she got it. I phoned her and asked - in between apologising for my nosiness) - and she said it had happened when she was play fighting with her dp and her 12 year old son. It doesn't seem like a violent household, all the kids (mine, hers and the other one she minds) seem very relaxed and happy so I've no reason to disbelieve her.
Dh told me last night that there is 'something about her' he doesn't like and he would rather the kids didn't go there. I tried to dig deeper but he said he doesn't know why he feels like that.
I'm really pi**ed because he didn't get involved with choosing the minder but now he feels justified in criticising my choice. He has made me start worrying about it now and I couldn't watch the programme that was on tv last night called "Who's looking after your kids" because my mind was working overtime.
What do you think I should do? Disregard dh's concern and go by my initial reaction and the kids behaviour or respect his views and find another minder?