Congratulations mumtobe23.
I can certainly understand your concerns about your MIL, my mum is the same. You?re wrong, she?s right. Like the Harry Enfield character ?you don?t want to do it like that? Arghh! It sounds like it could just cause bigger problems between you all down the line. You?d need to give it a lot of careful consideration.
There are certainly pro?s and con?s to each argument. So don?t just dismiss it without careful consideration into how you might possibly make it work.
Good quality childcare is very expensive. This is especially true if you have more than one pre-school age child.
Perhaps it may work out if you set ?rules? with her right at the beginning? After all, you would if you were employing a nanny or sending your child to nursery. Of course, your DH would have to back you up every step of the way; this would have to be a non-negotiable condition. You wouldn?t dream of taking on a nanny if she told you how she wanted to provide the child-care and it didn?t gel with your opinions and requirements. So why should you if it?s a family member? This is YOUR child, not hers you do need to make this clear but in a non-confrontational way. Being firm is ok, especially when it?s your child involved.
It is extremely unlikely that you would be able to visit the nursery in your lunchtime. I don?t know of any nursery where this is possible. It does upset the children; so once you drop them off ? that?s it until you pick them up in the afternoon/evening. Even when you?re still breastfeeding ? they will not allow you to pop in. You would have to express your breast milk and take it in frozen. (I know this from experience).
Good luck, it?s not an easy one is it? I also find that DH are full of these not so good idea?s before they actually have their child in their arms. Once they meet their child in person, they become the most over-protective beasts in the world and suddenly develop opinions that aren?t driven by cash saving plans but what would be best for their DS or DD.
I think you?re sensible to look into your options now if you know that you have to return to work. Being a SAHM isn?t an option for all of us (unfortunately). However, I would agree with the other mums that have posted on here ? try not to get too worried about it all just yet. Once the baby is here, you?ll know instinctively what?s best for them and you!