Annual Leave not sick leave

[workstuff]

I have name changed. I will make it short.

I have had a few work related issues which have knocked my confidence, and have left me feeling anxious. Today I woke up and had what I guess was a panick attack. My heart pounding, the shakes, tearful and a dodgy stomach. The thought of going into work today filled me with dread and anxiety.

I have had a number of sick days over the last year, unrelated to this, due to ill health (sinus probs mainly, some throat infections).

I called my boss today and was in floods of tears, said I just could not do it, could not face it and needed a couple of days to get my head together.

She asked me if I wished to take this as annual leave or sickness. I asked what she thought would be most appropriate, and she said that she is already concerned about my sickness and this is going to be addressed with me when I return to work so thinks it is best if I take it as annual leave. She said it would go against me if I have any more time off sick, but that if that is what I wanted she could not tell me not to, but was advising annual leave. I agreed that I would take it as leave.

Should I have done this? I am now worried about my sickness record as well as not being able to face work. Its all going downhill and I am struggling to get it back.

oh dear. that was not short

It sounds like your boss is trying to protect you by keeping your absence levels low so you don't trigger formal review levels on it.

However by doing this it is masking the fact that you are struggling. Have you made an appointment to see your doctor ? Are there any changes that can be made at your work to make it more bearable ?

Doing that isn't a problem in itself, if it helps avoid formal warnings/pay being docked etc

But it doesn't deal with the problem. It sounds as though your manager is reasonably supportive, what are you doing together to deal with this? If it's so bad you can't face going into work, 2 days off to 'get your head together' isn't going to sort it.

I would suggest going to see your doctor to find out whether you should be signed off properly, and also arranging to meet your manager to discuss the issues you are having problems with, if you haven't already, and seeing what you can do to try and resolve them.

Thanks for replying, both of you.
Manager has not done a lot, as it is involving dealing with a passive-aggressive bully of a colleague and everyone seems to be bending over to support her (rather than have her continue with her defensive behaviour - view is tread softly, softly) which is in fact demonstrating that her behaviour is ok as she is getting a positive outcome to the detriment of me. Long story, but think manager is aware that she is doing this, and is why she is being more supportive with my absence. Perhaps she is also a bit worried that I am more likely to take longer than a couple of days if not handled right.

Anyway, I did go the GP, she offered me a sick note for a couple of days, but I cannot take any sick time off as I will receive an 'improvement notice' (which is funny, as either, I am sick, or I am not, if I am still getting sinus problems, how can I stop being ill? Anyway, another story). So, I am going to have to find a way of coping with this shite. GP said she would prefer no pills as they would only mask it.

Kind of sounds like manager couldn't be bothered going down the formal absence management route because then it would show that she isn't handling the other staff issue effectively.

If I were you when I go back I would request a meeting with the manager and outline your concerns without being judgemental about her part in it. You need to try to agree a joint way to handle this. I would also start documenting everything.

I can highly recommend a book called Dealing with people you can't stand for handling passive aggressive behaviour in a non confrontational way.

Hope you feel better soon.

If your manager is aware of this you should push her to do something about it. It's not a question of you finding a way of coping with it, if it's not acceptable and your manager knows it, you need to push for a meeting to discuss it with her and work out between you the best way forward.

forget the sick leave and go to HR and push for the bullying and harrassment policy to be instigated.