should i quit my job or am i being a wimp? opinions welcome

[dragonfruit]

i've been back at work now for over a year and whilst it's got easier in the sense that i just accept i am constantly busy, my workload has increased dramatically, whcih means i work @ 8 hrs at the w/end in order to stay on top of it all. I'm not asked to do this, but there seems to be an expectation that you will get the job done, no matter what. I put 100% into my job but feel that i am expected to do 110%. I just feel like crying sometimes because i have so much to do. i never feel rested because at w/ends i am just working or thinking about what i haven't got done and need to get done. if i didn;t have a child i would more readily sacrifice my time to my job but i feel resentful and angry that my employer is making me feel that i am not committed. i hate having to pack off my child to nursery when they are ill and want to stay at home with me. i am tempted to call it a day, but do not want to let colleagues down as i manage a small team who i get on with really well. how much longer should i stick this out? at what point do you call it a day? what are the chances of returning to a similar job in the future?

Could you ask for an employment review and have a really frank discussion about your workload? Alternatively, could you afford to work only 4 days. This would also give you an opportunity to discuss your workload and how to cut it. I really don't think that now is the right time to be jacking in any job, but on the other hand, you shouldn't feel like you have to "pack off my child to nursery when they are ill and want to stay at home with me".

Who is placing most of the pressure on you to "get the job done"? Do they have a young family themselves? How family friendly is the firm generally? Do many other employees have families? How male dominated is it??

Maybe it would help to sort out the different issues which are causing you to feel so much pressure, and think about possible solutions to each one:

• workload: as littlefish says can you ask for a review to discuss this and think about ways in which the workload might be managed or shared.

• your employer making you feel like you are not committed: can you get clarity over whether this is the case or whether it is just your current perception because you are feeling so overwhelmed. If this is the manager's perception, then how can you change it? What evidence can you provide; how can offer reassurance and demonstrate commitment without working excessive hours.

• having to send your child to nursery when they want to stay at home: (I am assuming that they are not seriously ill or the nursery wouldn't take them) Some of these feelings are going to be a part of the life of any working parent (although we mothers seem to feel worse about it then men do). Even if you were in the happiest job circumstance, it would still be wrench not to respond to your dc's desire to be with you. Is this something that you are going to struggle with regardless of the work pressures? How might you deal with this in happier circumstances? Could you work reduced hours (e.g. 35 per week instead of 37) but use them flexibly so you did not feel guilty if you had to take time off to be with your child (although sods law seems to show that sick children always coincide with the busiest day at work anyway!).

By separating out the issues you might be able to propose some changes that would resolve things for you. I would worry that by bundling everything together you could jump to a conclusion that wouldn't work. For example, if you were to reduce to 4 days - could it be flexible - or is this not possible in your job?