what response should I give to rude people?????

[mogwai]

I'm 30 weeks pg with first baby. I'll be having seven months maternity leave before going back part time. Both sets of grandparents still work, so we are going to use a day nursery, which I've looked around and been very impressed with.

I am a healthcare professional and I specialise in treating children, so I know a bit about child development and I can spot the difference between a good and bad nursery.

Yesterday, one of my colleagues asked me whether I was coming back after the baby is born. I was a bit surprised she asked as we have discussed the issue several times. She has no children but wants to try for a baby next year. She's adamant she won't return to work, doesn't like her job in the first place (I love mine). She already knew I felt differently and was definitely planning to return.

When I said I was coming back, she asked "what will ou do with the baby?" in a really incredulous and surprised tone. When I told her about the nursery three days a week, she really pulled a face as though she didn't agree it was the right thing to do. I said "What, you think I'm cruel?" half jokingly, to which she replied "yes!" seriously.

Tbh, I was a bit taken aback. I was eating my lunch and two other colleagues were present. I just said "well...nobody has ever said that to me before!", to which she replied "you're putting words in my mouth".

I'm not sure I handled it right really - I'd have liked to have a better response than "nobody has ever said that before" but I don't want to cause ill feeling by saying something inflammatory like "it's none of your business". Any suggestions on a way of dealing with these types of comments? I've also chosen not to breast feed and have had comments like "oh you've got to breastfeed" so it would be noce to have something to say in response to both types of comment!

By the way my response was a loud laugh saying that would of been pointless and you only learn and adapt to your babies needs.....I then pointed out that it makes me laugh how people w/o kids seem to make so many assumptions. I for one was open to returning to work but was happy to be a SAHM. As soon as DD was born i knew I would go insane and so decided to return.

The other one in the same conv was that I should have sent my DD to nursery not to my sister to look after during the day because all of her friends kids were potty trained at 1.5 yrs old.
I'm sorry but my daughter has just turned 2, is potty trained (through her own choice of wanting to be a big girl not by being forced)can count to 15 and can name most colours and shapes which I dont think is bad.

take comfort in knowing that most of these rude people are just rude about everything and everyone. They obviously have a very high opinion of themselves. Either that or they lack such self-esteem that they have to point out other peoples short falls in order to make themselves feel better.

so right. To be honest i know i am young - but my experience so far of everything to do with my child is thta nothing can prepare you for it. I have heard women of thirty and forty ask teh same questions and have the same concerns as me and although these women have time on me in a proffessional sense, we all seem to be on the same page where child rearing is concerned. Only someone without wouldnt get that!!!! Oh well, it will be my turn to smile sweetly and get revenge when they all get bumps and start stressing. heh heh

dead right prettyfly. I can't wait for this particular girl to get pregnant! We used to work in a really hot office, I mean, it must have been 30 degrees, we had heating engineers out and they never seemed to fix it. Of course, being pregnant, I get quite hot, so I used to sit by the window, with the window slightly open (wasn't very effective as this meant sitting next to the radiator!). We have now gone to new air conditioned premises, and she said the other day "oh at least it isn't freezing cold with people opening windows when I'm not even hot" in a really sarcastic way.

I hope she's BIG pregnant during a really hot, sticky summer, I'm going to protest that it's actually quite mild and she's upsetting my thermostat!

Silly cow

What a twit she sounds. TBH get really for the whole and his friends to tell exactly how to bring up your child on every issue.

My only advice is ignore anything you don't like and try anything you do and just relax and enjoy being a Mum. When your relaxed about it its like no other feeling.

Aww you make it sound so warm and nice! I can't wait!

I have to warn you though mine have been fighting with each other day and I got so cross with them both I sent them to bed at 5.30. DS (3)fell asleep and DD(7) is read till her normal bedtime.

I am now very much calmer than I was.

oh bless, i remember when my mother used to do that to me - did me good cause i had the reading age of a twelve year old by the time i was seven!!!!! See discipline works. l.o.l

I had someone like that in my office for a long time. She knew that the smell of cheese and onion crisps made me heave so ate them deliberately then complained to everyone who came into the office that she wasnt allowed anything to eat because the poor ickle pregnant lady didnt like it. Cow. Honestly i nearly laced them with arsenic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew I sent her to bed for a really good reason other than I was going to shout very loudly because they were fighting.