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Struggling here - support/advice please!

2 replies

CeeCee123 · 04/02/2009 20:00

My son is 18 months old and I went back to work full time about three and a half months ago.

My son absolutely loves the childminder we have found, and really seems to enjoy his time there. To be honest, I think I'm the one who's struggling, not him!

At first when I went back I was on a real high - back in smart clothes, actually being paid (!), having adult conversation etc. I was happy knowing that he was settled in at the childminder and overall it seemed to be going just fine.

The last couple of weeks for some reason have all of a sudden got very tough for me. I've just started really questioning what I'm doing. A couple of days he's got really upset as I've left, and I've cried on my way in. A couple of days he's been totally happy to see me go and that made me cry too! I think it's just hit me how much responsibility I am handing over to the childminder, who is great but doesn't do everything the way I would do (obviously!). Even small things bug me like the fact the tv is often on in her house but I don't feel that I can say anything because there are a lot of other kids and her older kids in and out of the house and they have the tv on. I don't mean to turn this into a debate about tv, that's not really the issue, the issue is that I've realised I've given over a lot of control to her in the upbringing of my son.

I'm not sure if this is just a hump that I need to get over and a natural come down after the initial enjoyment of being back at work has worn off. I just can't seem to see what the right answer is. I wish part time work was an option but I've found absolutely nothing in my field. I'm not sure it would be possible or even desirable for me to be at home full time either.

Anyway, I guess I would just appreciate some sympathy or coping techniques from other people who've been through the same thing.

Thanks!
CeeCee

OP posts:
bodiddly · 04/02/2009 20:41

It is very difficult to pass over some of the responsibility to someone else - especially if you aren't entirely happy with some of the things they are doing. I deliberately chose a nursery environment rather than a childminder as I was paranoid that my ds would form too close an attachment to someone that wasnt me, probably a selfish attitude but hey! I also figured that they would have a routine that was suitable and age appropriate. Thats not to say nursery is by any means perfect - I have concerns too. That said if you can't give up work (I know I cant afford to be a sahm) you need to consider that there are probably benefits your son is gaining from the cm that he may not get at home. He is socialising etc and as you say ... he is happy which is usually a pretty good indicator!

LoveBeingAMummy · 07/02/2009 05:45

Think I've hit this wall a bit too this week and I only went back in the new year!!!

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