return to work interview - do i have to confess that i'm pg?

[woodenbox]

I have name changed so as not to be identified, so excuse the cr*p name!

I am 10wks pg and last week was signed off by my GP for 3 days, due to vomiting. It may have been a bug or my morning sickness peaking but he said that rest would help. The minute I got back to school, I was told I would have to have a return to work interview. I have not had one of these before. My main question is, do I have to tell them I am pg, or answer anything that is not related to this period of absence?

I would prefer to wait until I have had a scan, before telling even family. I have had some other sickness in the past twelve months - signed off twice for a week each time, plus a couple of days with my dc, so I realise this may be why they are asking.

I would mention that you're pregnant and the absence was pregnancy related, that way you can't be disciplined for it.

It is my understanding is that it is not compulsory to inform your employers that you are pg until 25(?) weeks, although you need to check the legal stuff for correct number of weeks.

However, as trixy mentioned, it is in your best interests to inform your employer, as once they are aware you are pg, you are much better protected, for various reasons. Firstly, if you are likely to be suffering from morning sickness, they will not be able to count absence from work due to this, or any other pg related sickness as part of your normal sickness record and you cannot be disciplined for it. Secondly, if you need time off for appts etc you will be given that time without question, thirdly, if you struggle for period of time due to tiredness, you may be able to get your time adjusted to allow you to come in late or leave early. And finally (although there are likely more benefits) you cannot be sacked. If you are dismissed or treated badly in any way, it is the responsibility of your employer to prove they did not discriminate against you.

Until you inform them you are pg, none of this will kick in.

Oh, and congratulations by the way.

thanks for your advice. I really do not want to tell them unless i have to. My dh (and me, to a certain extent) would much prefer to tell family and friends before work, but we are waiting til after my 12 week scan. I kind of feel that i have come this far, my ms has calmed down, the tiredness is getting better and hopefully, only a couple of weeks to go to the scan. they are not the sort of people who I would want to discuss any problems with, hence the wait.

Can you really be disciplined for being ill? that astounds me!
thanks again for yuor advice.

At my work you are supposed to have a return to work interview with your manager after each period of sickness. In practice that doesn't generaly happen, but you have to fill in a form.

If you're sick more than 3 times then you have a disciplinary interview with HR.

If you are happy to just accept the return to work interview then don't tell them that you're pregnant.

I'm not sure if you could after the scan retrospectively tell them about your pregnancy?

thanks trixi.apparently we are supposed to have one after any period of illness, even a single day but they seem to be cracking down on it now as i never have in the 6 years i've worked there.

i think i'll try not to tell them yet, and do the interview, then it'll be up to them whether, when i do tell them, they put this current period of absence down to pg related.

thanks again.

As thecat says, you are not obliged to tell your employer until you are 25 weeks pg. More info here.

FWIW I wouldn't tell at 10 weeks either. Even the doctor wasn't sure that the sickness was pregnancy related and you have a sick note. With the interview, they might not be looking to discipline you, but might want to talk about ways to 'manage' your sickness absences.

I would definately tell them your pregnant and explain why you would like this information kept private until you have had your scan. I'm assuming you're going to need time off for the scan too and if they know why this won't be a problem.
Of course I'm basing this on my work situation where the abscence policy is very strict. I'm allowed 3% abscence in any 52 week period. Which, because I work part time, means I can't take more than one day sick in 6 months. If I do I have to have an attendance review meeting when they examine your whole attendance history and can, and do, dish out written and verbal warnings even if the abscence was for genuine illness supported by a sick note. As others have said any pregnancy related abscence can not be included in this policy so I would have no hesitation in telling my manager but would expect her respect my wishes as far as keeping my condition private for the near future is concerned.
Good luck with your scan and hope everything goes well for you

thanks kiddiz and Sparks. I suppose I am so reluctant because of what happened last time, where I told my immediate boss and was told it would have to be passed on to senior management. This was all at about 8wks as I had a threatened miscarriage and was quite wobbly.

We are allowed time off for hospital appointments, and as I don't work full time, all my GP appts are on my day off. I assume my scan will be during the half term too so hopefully, no more time off required.

I am happy to discuss my two other 'sicknesses' should they ask!

Oh and to re-assure you. I have a back to work interview everytime I am off sick, but this was not always the case. My last manager did not bother for short absences.

The purpose of them is not to discipline, but to check out how you are. Responsible emploeyers should be doing this to make sure you are fit for work, is it work related, if so what measures are in place for you to return, and if there is anything needed work wise to ensure your return to work is smooth.

If you do not feel comfortable telling them yet, then you really do not have to. You had a stomach upset, end of.

Good luck with work, and with your pregnancy!