Should I offer resignation or go for 4th maternity leave??

[Mummyfor3]

Right, this is a theoretical question as I am not (yet) pregnant:
I have been one of five partners in a business for 10years. In this time I have been on maternity leave for 6 months on 3 occasions. In principle the partnership is family friendly, we have all had children and financial provision for time off is generous. However, all of my partners have completed their families, and I am very aware how an absence like this affects the workload and income of everybody else. I realise of course that I do not owe my work colleagues any explanation about how big a family I would like, however I am scared reluctant to announce further need for mat leave. There is (probably, after discussion with them) the option to resign and work the company on a freelance basis whenever I felt ready to return to work. This would of course mean drop in income, not be an equal partner in decision making etc. etc.

So, how would you feel if your business partner had repeated mat leave? I am not looking for legal advice, rather for people's gut feeling. Thanks.

Hi there Mfor3

I always think there's a big difference between being organised, efficient, business-plan-driven, cut-throat in business or work (and rather fancy myself as all of these things ... although I'm probably really not so cut-throat as I would want!) - and in personal life where having a 5 year plan and all that sort of thing is perhaps not really so applicable (for example, I remember once having lunch with a girl who said 'my aim is to be engaged this time next year and married the next' - hehe!).

The thing with your dilemma is that it brings this conceptual split between private life and working life into focus, as with all questions re work/life balance, doesn't it?

But in the end (I think, anyway) it comes down to gut feeling and what will make any of us feel happy.

I haven't had a baby yet (another 6 weeks to go) so whilst I'm not qualified to offer an opinion on the experience of dealing with conflicting feelings about family and work, I do have an opinion about that old saying you mention 'no-one ever wished, on their death-bed, they'd spent more time at work'.

My own particular tangent on that is 'no-one ever wished they'd spent more time doing paid work they didn't really like'.

Lots of people have jobs they don't really like but aren't in a position - location, skills, experience, available opportunities etc - to change them. But for some lucky people, like the ones who post to this topic, there are opportunities to change ways of working/types of job etc.

So maybe the more big question for you (or anyone reading with the same question in mind) is not about whether to stay in the GP partnership or resign and continue working in the practice as a locum etc but whether you want a much bigger change - no paid work at all for a bit (if you can afford it), or having a go at doing some slightly different work in the same field which fits better with your family requirements and won't mean a status change/demotion with regards to the partnership you're already in. Hmmm.

So my answer to the questions you originally posted stays the same - don't resign etc. But if you want a life change, well that's a completely different matter. And as you must be a highly qualified person with sought-after skills etc you're in a very good position to achieve the changes you want

(Gosh, reading this back to myself I sound like some kind of low-rent Oprah! )

MrsB, thank you for your thoughts.

Yes, this discussion has come quite a way from my original question (but I do feel encouraged that the general consensus seems to be that I AM "allowed" to consider another sprog ).

Oh, yes, the old work-life balance!! After DS1 I could not wait to get back to work as he was a terrible screamer (still is, aged almost 6yrs ) and I felt totally trapped by this little tyrant in my life. With every subsequent child it was harder to return, not just for practical reasons (getting them all out of the house with everybody washed, dressed, fed etc etc) but because I miss them more and also feel they need a parent more - see above.
Also, I am becoming more and more aware that if I want my children raised ENTIRELY the way I want, then I jolly well have to do it myself - I have a lovely childminder, but, my goodness, her (older) boys swear like US Marines storming BinLaden's cave!!

(You'd make a good Oprah - how is that for a career suggestion?!)

I wish you a serene baby that will make the transition from being in control to under control an easy one !

And, yes, particularly in the current climate, I am very grateful that I have more than a job that pays the bills, but something that keeps challenging me and that on the whole I enjoy - not as much as lolling on sofa with chocolate biscuit, though!!

I am so hoping I get a serene baby! Hopefully your good wishes will help

My mom is a GP -- in the US and she is amazed that NHS doctors are allowed to practice privately as the NHS, to a large extent, has funded them. She on the other hand, is just about paying off her medical school debt

Look at it this way: it's only 6 months. And the NHS has invested a lot in you, and you obviously seem to want to work...

Besides, need more children to pay for the debt this government is creating!

The NHS has invested nothing, nada, njet in me as I was trained abroad !
Gps are in a rather awkward place as "independent contractors" but bound by a contract with the government. As I am NOT a natural born business person, I do not like the self-employed bit one bit , but also resent that we do not have the freedom to operate like any other business: more work does NOT necessarily generate more income. Do not ask me about the GP contract - I will never stop moaning! We do not have any private patients, I am aware that this is a lot different in Engerland (I am in Alba ).

So, looking at it that way, not having been invested into, the NHS "owes" me several more years mat leave, yikes!! No - wait - doesn't work, much as I liked that reasoning: the cost to cover my mat leave comes (partially) out of my partners pockets. Darn, I was just warming to this idea of being owed something....

Just meant that you are infinitely more valauble taking 6 months off (or whatever) than resigning....

Tell your partners you promise not to have a mid life crisis and decide to go travelling for 6 months? (a GP at my surgery did this and seems to have gotten lost!)