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Original poster

Have you ever cried in front of your boss?

26 replies

keresley · 24/01/2009 21:06

My workplace has been putting us all under extreme pressure. When it was my turn to have feedback on my performance, I just cried and said I couldn't cope with the pressure at work and said that it was impacting on my home life and affecting my relationship with my children. The feedback wasn't bad but work is just getting too much for me (and my colleagues). We have all said how stressed we are but things continue as they are. As an aside, do any of you know of any medication that I could take (i.e. a mild form of valium type drug) to help me get through this stressful period? Thanks

OP posts:

WilfSell · 24/01/2009 21:15

I have but they usually been v supportive.

What kind of pfressure are they putting you under? Are there other options other than drugs? Valium is habit forming I think but maybe it would help for a short while.

What kind of business do you work in?

blondehelen · 24/01/2009 21:19

sorry you are having a bad time. I have cried before, but more of a knee jerk reaction for a particular situation rather than longer term stress like this sounds. I find Kalms quite effective for work stress particularly if I am not sleeping.

gigglewitch · 24/01/2009 21:22

i havent yet but can guarantee i am going to next week - i have something difficult to tell the boss

Can you get a break for a while, keresley - either holiday or sick?
it sounds like you could really do with it.

Remotew · 24/01/2009 21:23

Yes, just the other day when they told me they wanted to cut my hours below contracted. Just me, no-one else. OK I held back the sobs but got emotional when I told them I think this is personal and I was being singled out.

There are some things they cannot get away with doing.

frecklyspeckly · 24/01/2009 21:25

Hello Keresley - Sorry to hear you are having such an unpleasant time. I now only work pt but a few years ago was blamed at work for something and cried in front of my boss. It happens to lots of people, and i am sure especially at the moment, every single company i know is piling pressure on all of us to perform as they in turn are under pressure. Add to that the fact we are under pressure as working parents, tiredness etc, everyone has a point at which the snap.
Some may shout,resign, go sick or get upset - all ways of discharging feelings.
I recently cried in front of son's headmistress about something. I felt very embarassed as it sort of came from nowhere but i have seen this happen lots of times and in lots of situations - don't be too hard on yourself for being human and try to move ahead X

Ps on medication - i work in chemists - try kalms or rescue remedy spray I find they work- if they dont work see your gp maybe discuss options with him. Also I find taking vitamin b6 helps stabilise my moods and starflower oil as I struggle with emotions etc more during 'time of month' and just before - this is when i tend to break down and cope less.

Can you talk to someone in RL about this?

notnowbernard · 24/01/2009 21:26

Yes, a couple of times (probably more if I think back to the start of my career)

And all related to work stress

Personally I wouldn't resort to medication at this stage (Valium highly addictive and habit-forming). Far better to try and find someone to talk to about how you are feeling instead

Remotew · 24/01/2009 21:37

I will buy some Kalms before I go into work next week. Thanks for the tip. Keresley hope things improve soon this current climate is putting pressure on everyone and I reckon employers are looking for easy targets, especially part time workers.

Foxy800 · 25/01/2009 09:31

I have but for a very different reason to this sounds.

I handed my notice in last week due to being a job closer to home, better money, holidays etc.
I handed in my notice and ended up crying a little cause I could see on her face she didnt want me to leave, (she did also say this so not being big headed!!!lol).

Hope things improve for you soon.

Anniek · 25/01/2009 15:42

I cried at work all the time I just couldn't stop myself, it's normally anger that inspires it, main issue, I used to be a woman working in a very male dominated environment.

Luckily people who worked for me became very supportive, kind of lets circle the wagons and we bonded as a team because of it. Any boss I did it in front of normally understood it was because of frustration at others not doing the work they should have.

Never felt it stopped me being understood, promoted or respected.

tumtumtetum · 25/01/2009 15:53

No but my boss has cried in front of me, many times. Not inspiring...

saramoon · 25/01/2009 16:24

Yes, a couple of years ago when i went back to my job and my dds were 6 months and 18 months. I was having to do a course as well as lots of teaching and the girls were so young and i was having to leave them at the college nursery in the mornings i worked. One day we were told there was going to be an internal inspection and that we would for a few weeks have even more work to do. I went into the boss' office and just started blubbing. It was a particularly stressful time and looking back i don;t know how i did it. I've known others to do it too so it isn't so unusual.

paolosgirl · 25/01/2009 16:29

I have twice, in 15 years - well, not in front of the boss, because I excused myself when I felt the chin wobble. Both times it was due to a ridiculous workload - in a health promotion department, would you believe.

BouncingTartan · 25/01/2009 16:46

Yes, once because of pressure at work, and once when i came back from holiday he had to break the news that someone I used to work with had committed suicide - we both worked for my former company, and my old boss rung my current boss because she thought I ought to know, as I was one of the few people friendly with him. Both times he was lovely, especially with the second one, as he also knew of the man who committed suicide.

DisasterArea · 25/01/2009 16:53

yes. under enormous pressure. loads of small stressors. just broke down. bastard couldn't handle it. referred meto occ health and sent me away, thereby making me feel an utter failure and a waste of space. twat. won't be expecting sympathy frm that direction again.

DisasterArea · 25/01/2009 16:54

and to cap it all i was expectedto let all the others sob on my shoulders, suppport them, supply chocolate and tissues but the minute i have a little weep.......
bastard

twopeople · 01/02/2009 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sobloodystupid · 02/02/2009 09:01

Yup, twice that I can think of. Once when a lovely young woman I worked with died unexpectedly leaving young children, and once when I returned from extended sick leave and got a bollocking!

PurpleKate · 02/02/2009 10:10

Yes, frequently, especially during performance reviews, can be good or bad comments. Otherwise I am most likely to cry when I'm angry or annoyed. I have to say that I really hate the fact that I can't control myself enough not to cry.

I have recently discovered though, that if I warn people that I might cry and they mustn't take any notice, it actually takes the pressure off me and I'm less likely to cry. Maybe this is something you could consider.

starbear · 05/02/2009 16:26

keresley Rememeber you are human and are allowed to cry. Some people under stress punch other people, drink too much, take illegal drugs & make other people cry. I and my female colleagues cry as the pressure is too much in a very aggressive male world. Hug a friend and get on with work is the best way.

Squiffy · 06/02/2009 09:30

I'm really really fierce, me (seriously) and I cried once, 15 years ago, on the dealing floor of a large bank - and get this, I burst into tears because my boss came over to praise me for all my hard work during a very stressy time. See I can take the nastiness of banking, but I can't handle the niceness

And even last week my voice cracked a bit (I think) when I was stamping my feet to the MD over the company not being generous enough towards the people it is makign redundant...

It happens to everyone.

BTW, when I had PND I found St John's Wort really did the trick. And Night Nurse maybe if your sleep patterns are disturbed and kalms etc doesn't help (but be careful and use only on a one-off basis, I think even night nurse can apparantly become addictive)

HeadFairy · 06/02/2009 09:34

I have, once because I'd been passed over for promotion in favour of someone who'd been there longer but wasn't any better at the job than me, and the other time I was mega mega stressed working with a hellish reporter, I got so stressed I made a massive on air cock up. Ended up standing in the fire exit shaking, smoking ciggie and sobbing saying to my boss I didn't want to work there any more. He was lovely both times, totally ignored my petulance and my silly hissy fit, took me to the pub and bought me several pints glasses of wine.

starbear · 06/02/2009 13:56

Oh! I love Night Nurse. (I need a heart shaped emotion!)

ShowOfHands · 06/02/2009 13:58

Yes, I was pregnant and suddenly started bleeding. Boss didn't know I was pg even and I had to go and ask if I could go to the hospital.

Tortington · 06/02/2009 14:08

yes, i was accused of saying something in a meeting with colleagues from other organisations present, which were not favourable to my organisation.

I was shocked and saddened that anyone should have made this accusation against me as i am very professional at all times.

It was a friend of my DH that said it to cover his failing arse - a deflection.

my boss came down from london and i was called in a meeting.

I cried so much in my head i was saying "fgs shut up, stop crying, STOP IT, STOP IT NOW, RIGHT NOW!" But i couldn't, i flounced out of the room with a muffled 'excuse me' and ran all the way down the stairs and went outside.

i was gone so long, they actually sent a lady manager (not mine) out to see how i was.

eventually i re-gained my composure and went in and politely demanded that my accusor and his manager ( both senior senior people) and me and my manager sit round a table
"let him say it to my face!" said i defiantly.

in the meeting he then accused my husband ( Who worked for one of the aforementioned outside agencies - i had previously asked re: conflict of interest - no one seemed right bothered)

so i said " why am i being called in about something i have not said, its not fair that you now accuse my husband, Or ask me into a meeting that has NOTHING to do with me"

this manager started crying he was sorry, and i started crying.

he is actually the manager of the office that i work from ( not my manager) i think he is a prick. 5 years later a prick of hhighest proportions.

i have a saying - you can piss on me only once.

prick

MadamDeathstare · 07/02/2009 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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