How do you manage?

[bambinox2]

I was looking into going back to work full time. My dd is 4 and now in full time school. Ds is one and would need to be at Cm full time like 12 hours a day! Also dd would need to be picked up from school by cm. So after both childcare costs and petrol to and from work would mean i'm working for like £2 an hour.
I can't seem to find any high paid jobs that I am qualified to do. I may as well stay at home with my children but feel useless to my dh as he works all hours under the sun.

Is it true the more hours you both work the less tax credits you get? we would both be doing 40 hrs a week.

But it might mean that when the youngest is in school you have been building up a career even if for not that much money so long term it pays off whereas if you don't work until the youngest is at school you lose out.

I always worked full time but we found it cheapest to pay someone to come to our house to look after the 3 children under 4 rather than pay for 3 places at child minder or nursery. 50% of the costs from each wage (never a mother's cost of course as the father needs the child care too). helped that I earned a lot more than their father I suppose certainly in whether I got back to work and I never earned little enough to be paid any form of tax credit so I can't answer that bit.

A lot of women feel better back at full time work and children tend to do better too so you haev to cost in that benefit as well.

'children tend to do better too'

can you back that up !!!

high paying jobs usually require higher qualifications - can you go back to school?

It isn't the more hours you work the less tax credits you get, but the more money you have coming in the less tax credits.

Children tend to do btter commment? Because wealth is the best indicator of childhood outcomes and educating women and women earning is one of the best ways to help children. Also working mothers tend to be more clever and be better at psychology and childcare and better educated. A whole host of reasons. They are less depressed and happier too and children see a high achiving happy career woman which helps them with their own life choices in due course.

Sorry Xenia,
but when i was working 60 hrs a week whith my first dd, i was extremely tired, unhappy, and basicaly the most miserable mum in the world.

But i do believe that others can be happier when work hard. Just different people...

Thast's true. I just get cross that you never see a newspaper article showing how chidlren benefit when both parents work. You could do a great feature on that - perhaps contrast me or someone like me and what we've built up and given to our children and also the relationship with them with someone who is not happy at home. But you don't see that/. you just see whinge whinge women don't want to work, or dont' want to work full time and don't want proper careers. Its' very sad all the press is so biased about it when a lot of full time working women love it. Sadly many are too happy and busy to write about it of course adn they don't have anyone to convince either as they know it works for their children and families.

Dunnowhat the 'better at psychology' bit means Xenia (although i was/am much happier working than staying home all day with babies.)

Dunnowhat the 'better at psychology' bit means Xenia (although i was/am much happier working than staying home all day with babies.)

I have never said I was good at anything but if we accept women who earn a lot and have a high IQ tend to be the ones who continue to work whereas the average 100 IQ ones who worked in call centres on £15k a year aer more likely to stay home and keep house then you can see why worknig mothers on average tend to be more clever and thus better at understanding the needs of a child, probably read about child development more and have better skills in that area.

I dont think is the ones who earn a lot necessarily the ones who continue to work.

My best friend in London was earning a lot -and i mean a lot- and she had the high IQ to invest it in properties so now she can enjoy her children and her life.

And trust me she has an amazing life. And a very high IQ...

Intelligence is to be able to recognise what is good for you, what suits you and having the balls to go for it ignoring trends, stereotypes and cliches. Whether that is working hard and long hours, or going part time, or becoming SAHM.