If you had to go back to work and you didn't want to how did you cope?

[Stefka]

I have to go back to work. I want to be a SAHM.

I have been lucky in that I have been able to stay home so far - DS is now 15 months. I am better of than many I do know that. But..

The thought of DS being with anyone else for so many hours of the week makes me feel ill. I want to be his main carer. I want to be there when he takes his first steps, to teach him new words and to see him learning about the world. I want to be there so that he can self wean as he still feeds quite often. I want to be there when he wakes up from his nap a bit teary and needs a cuddle.

No one around me seems to give a shit that this is how I feel. DH thinks I am being selfish and seems to think I should be happy about going back to work. He says it will make the house happier. I think it will just make him happier.

Anyway moan over. Any tips for coping?

Thank you everyone it is such a relief to just be able to share how I am feeling and be heard. I can't say this stuff to DH as he just gets defensive.

The problem we have is DH is studying right now and working self employed so we don't really know how secure that is going to be or if he will get the job he wants come the end of his course. So more security for us would be a great thing and there are a lot of positives like you say - thank you for reminding me! It would be nice to bring a bit of money in so I felt less like I have no say in how money is spent etc.

Not sure what childcare will be yet - depends if I get the full time job or not. If part time I am really hoping my aunt will take him as I trust her totally and it would make it so much easier.

At the moment I do all the housework/childcare more or less. DH sometimes cooks for us and does do baths with DS when he is home. I am a bit concerned that even if I was working full time I would end up doing everything anyway but I can't know that is how it is going to go for sure.

Iatemakkapakka - I love your name! I wish you would eat him - he gives me the creeps!

Hi there, am a SAHM now but went back to work when dd was 5mths and then stopped, then started when she was 17mths - then stopped again! Dd is now 2.8 and doing playgroup four mornings a week.

Anyway, all the children I know LOVE nursery - dd was with her Nanna but had a great time, and loves playgroup now. So you could try and see it as time for your ds to play, do messy stuff, see other children and you can have loads of cuddles and bedtime stories and playing when you see him.

Though, I agree that your childcare/working/housework etc arrangements should be agreewith your dh.

PS I don't 'bring any money in' but it is definitely OUR money. Anyway, I'm looking after two kids, isn't that at least £300 a week childcare round here?

Hello I am in the same boat stefka, DS is 10 months and I am loving being a SAHM but I am constantly thinking if I don't go back at some point when will I? My job contract finished before my Mat leave so I don't have a job to go back to. In a bit of a career crisis and don't want to leave it too long to get back into the swing of things. Ideally I would love part time work but its very hard to get a decent job with part time hours straight off. Have applied for full time job as Im hoping if I do it now and get it over with now I could eventually get part time. But the guilt is awful as I don't want to leave him for all that time even though he will be with family member.

ssd - obviusly thats why i said school age children. Durrrrr

obviously - typing too quickly