I'm looking for advice on how to get myself out of this rut.
I apologise that is so long and rambling. I am really trying to make sense of this all for myself!
Brief background:
Trained as a journalist and briefly worked on music magazines before going into radio production for the BBC.
Left the Beeb after 6 years (and a brief return to work from maternity leave with my DC1). That was 3 years ago.
Since then, I have done a short stint (one term) teaching media production to 14-19 yr olds at an FE college. I loved the teaching, but found the paperwork very stressful (felt I wasn't prepared / had no guidance and was just thrown in at the deep end), and the commute and juggling work in the evenings with a small child was hard, which is why I bowed out when my initial contract ended.
I also embarked on training to be an NCT antenatal teacher in early 2008, but dropped out very early on in the course because I got pregnant with DC2 and was very ill hypermesis.
My current situation:
I have a 4 yr old DS and 8 wk old DD and I suppose like most mums I don't want to work full time and be away from them for long days. However, I am BORED. Worse than bored. I am brain dead. I NEED to get back to work - preferably towards the end of this year.
However, I just can't seem to narrow down my options and go round in constant circles of 'I could do this' or 'I could' do that. I've been doing it for 3 tears now, and don't seem to be able to stick at anything and feel really good about any of the choices I could make. This must sound so self indulgent in the current climate, where people are losing their jobs . I know, I know {sad]
I just feel I've lost my confidence and my direction. I used to know what I wanted out of my career.
Anyway, if you've read this far, well done!
The main things I keep coming back to are:
OPTION1
Train as an FE teacher. I think I had the makings of a good teacher (the college loved me and wanted to give me a full time contract and extra responsibility).
I could either apply for a full time 1 yr PGCE in post compulsory education - but scared of workload with 2 small children and would have to wait until Sep 2010 to start as have left it too late to do the course I want to do.
Or try to pick up some visiting lecturer hours at my local; college and then apply to do the part time 'on the job' PGCE over 2 yrs while working. Again, am scared of workload
OPTION 2
Set up my own business. Maybe not the best time to do this? But I have spoken to some friends in the field I am interested in (antenatal education) and they say there is still a demand for what I would like to offer - antenatal classes and excercise. In order to do this, i would need to complete several courses and get a business plan together. I get excited about this idea, but am worried about the lack of security for my family, as DH is also self employed.
OPTION 3
Do something else that involves working with young people. I set up various programmes working with young offenders / kids at risk while at the Beeb, and love working with teenagers and young people. My local council are currently looking for hourly paid 'professionals' to work on an ad hoc basis in their youth centres. They are providing training, too. It would probably be eves / holidays at first, though.
OPTION 4
the one I am most scared of. Go back into the media. Try to get a production or writing gig. i don't know. I have lost my confidence and many if my skills are out of date.
God, i am waffling., You can see how confused I am!