Please god, help me learn to say no to things, and to prioritize.

[WilfSell]

Am shit at it and always end up tripped up by all the things that seemed like a great idea at the time.

I'm not being exploited: it is things that I want to do or are good for my career.

It is just that I take on too much without planning ahead. And then fail to do many of them...

I have just had an invite to be on a panel of a very important organisation in my field. The sort that gives a lot of profile. Is a big esteem indicator etc...

My mentor says don't do it, as I have other things that need doing. I can't help thinking if I turn it down I won't be invited again. But if I do do it, he's right - it will eat into the time I have to do the things I already need to do...

It can't be just me. Do I need a bang on the head, a guru, a book or wot?

I actually perform best when I have stacks to do. Give me a few blank days and I will give you a very good interpretation of a torpid carp in a pond. There is that saying - if you want something doing, give it to a busy person.

I would go for the panel thing. And wing the other stuff that is not so high profile.

Are you good at delegating or do you engage in a leeetle control freakery?

If there were someone to delegate to Swedes I would.

I am probably a control freak. Certainly a perfectionist but more along the kind of Howard Hughes perfectionism where nothing can ever be good enough therefore nothing gets done than the perfectionism that plans and lists and ticks things off.

Chaos.

Yes. I am often told the busy person thing about me. Guess it's probably a strategy. Not comfortable though it is?

i'm a control freak.
i'd do it and wing the other stuff.
i am probably as bad at this at you are...

do you trust your mentor?

LOL at Howard Hughes.

I agree something has to give. But don't let it be the panel. Think like a bloke. If a bloke wanted to do the panel thing he would just do the panel.

I half trust my mentor...

He's an alpha male, who moves and shakes in mysterious ways, works all hours (has teenagers but that doesn't seem to impinge on his workaholism). He - mostly - has my interests at heart but on the other hand, since we've worked on some things together, he'd be quite happy if I'd give in and just be his performing monkey.

I dunno.

WilfSelf - are you me? Down to the same mentor?

Try not to sweat the small stuff, work out what will help you progress (if that's what you want) - deffo do the panel. Is your mentor your boss? If so, he might not, subconsciously, want you to move on.

And read "the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey - it really helped me.

I don't think a good mentor should be advising you to turn down fantastic opportunities because you are too busy. I'm sure everyone who sits on that panel is busy anyway.

He should instead be guiding you and helping you work out how to organise yourself so that you can make the most of this fantastic opportunity being given to you.

Thanks all. I still haven't made my mind up. The timing is awful - both the main work periods on this panel clash with other extra work I have agreed to do.

And all the extra work, while giving important profile and experience, counts as citizenship.

The other bits that I am very good at putting off are probably the things that - in the long run, will bring the goodies.

I wish there was some way of me getting more organised. Some of that might well be saying no to something else!

do the panel! you already ARE prioritising - you said this was something that would give you a lot of profile; you recognised that it would mean other things had to go. now you just have to be ruthless about identifying what you would delegate in order to do it, and blooming delegate (says the, ahem, total control freak). not sure i would trust your mentor on this if he is as you describe. say yes to anything that is an opportunity to move on and up, basically.