Questioning my career....any thoughts?

[amimissingsomething]

Before I start, I'd really like this NOT to turn into a SAHM v WOHM debate! I've name changed for this because I do know several people who post here in RL.

I currently work part-time in a career that required postgraduate study to qualify. After my first maternity leave I returned to work full-time, as that was what I wanted. DS was around 6 months or so at the time.

After 6 months or so I decided that I wanted to work part-time, and negotiated 2 long days at work and half a day from home. All good.

I'm now rapidly coming up to my 2nd maternity leave and I'm questioning whether or not I want to work at all, or at least whether I want to do the job that I do. I find myself living for Thursday when I hang up my working boots and pull on my casual boots and spend time with DS.

I can't work out whether it is work I hate or whether I really want to be at home. I'm thinking about this now because if I want to change career and do something else I'd like to spend the next year off on maternity leave deciding what to do.

At the moment we could just about afford for me not to work, and with 2 children I can see the merits of being at home. However I used to love my job, and found great rewards from it. Its just that right now I find a lot of reward and satisfaction from things other than work, if you see what I mean. I bet you don't, even I don't know what I mean really.

Has anyone else felt like this? I do think that if I gave up work I would like something else, I just don't know what. If you've felt this and successfully changed career/focus, how did you sort things in out in your mind? What worked for you?

Oh no....I've bored everyone....

I didn't but DH did. He took the opportunity of the birth of DD to take a career break and reconsider what he wanted to do.

While he loved the area he worked in (science) and had specialised skills, he found himself increasingly fed up and depressed. Fortunately we could afford for him to be a SAHD. He made a point of keeping his skills up to date and did the occasional locum shift at his old workplace. Finally, after 6 years, he went back to work. He's in the same industry but has moved sideways. I don't think, had he continued doing the job he had before, that he would have ever had the courage to make this move, especially as it involves a drop in salary. Nor, do I think, he would have got this job had he applied straight from his previous job as the move was such a big one. The fact that he had taken a career break actually worked in his favour. He got loads of interviews because he had loads of skills that wouldn't normally be expected for the level of job he was applying for, yet also had a legitimate and easily recognisable reason for changing career path. To top it off, employers were so impressed with his years as a full time parent (when did a woman ever get congratulated at an interview for being brave enough to take on the full time care of her child?)

So anyway, if you've worked your way through my rambling, this is the ideal time to make these decisions. The added advantage is you get to spend that precious time with your children. DD benefited in so many ways from having her Dad at home with her. DH, despite the pay drop, has never regretted his decision. He was happy as a SAHD and is happy in his new career.

That is a really encouraging story, thanks for sharing. Did your DH do anything to help with the decision or was it a case of taking a risk and going for it?

i found that towards the end of my maternity leave i hated it....but i think it was because i knew i was leaving anyway and couldnt be bothered!! when i went back part time, i found the changes in staff and policy at work was enough for me to enjoy it again. i have just started maternity leave for a 2nd time, and the sam thing happened, about a month before i was due to leav i hatd it again. it may be different for you, but for me i think it was a mental attitude thing....good luck x

Part of DH's return to work was prompted by me leaving the job I was in after having a truly horrible time. He was a bit stuck, one of us had to work and he was the one who got a job first. What he had realised, after five and a half years as a full time Daddy, was that he loved the technical aspects of his job and was very good at them, but had lost all interest in career progression. This was made very, very clear on job applications. He was also very open about it at interviews. So his employers got a highly skilled technician, one they would not normally be able to afford, who was not interested in getting six months experience and moving on.

What do you do? Would you find it more rewarding if you set up on your own?

I think your quandary (spelling?!) is completely normal. I spend my waking hours trying to work if I want to work, or not, or do something different, or work for myself, and it drives me bonkers! I have a good day at work and I want to work full-time, I have a bad day and I want to chuck it all in. Not sure if there is a cure!