Single working parents how do you cope with school hols?

[Sheila]

I work full time and my DS has just turned 3. He goes to nursery at the moment which just about works as long as he's well, but I'm starting to think about him going to school and how I'm going to manage the short school days and holidays. Ds's Dad sees him at weekends but doesn't live close by so wouldn't be much use for childcare. I'm thinking of trying to change my hours to fit around school days/holidays but this would be a massive reduction and I'm not sure how well this would go down.

I love working but I'd like to be around for at least SOME of his young years - he's my only one, adn I'm really all he's got (no other family nearby, doesn't have any contact with his dad's side anyway.

I know there are playschemes for the holidays but I do think he should be allowed some time just to be at home with me during his holidays.

Really grateful for any advice or experiences shared.

Hi Sheila, I'm in pretty much in the same boat as you and don't really have the answer. Just reosrt to a childminder for the school holidays if I don't have enough leave. I did try a playscheme once and it was a disaster for my daughter - she was just too young at the time. Trouble is, it has put her off for the time being so won't risk it until she is a few years older (she's nearly 6). But there are good ones around so you can bear those in mind when your son is a little older, or he might not be as bothered as my daughter was and love them straightaway. They are much cheaper than childminders.

I don't know how flexible your employer is but mine will accept virtually any working hours that are suggested. Maybe you could have half the school holidays as special leave without pay. If you could arrange to have your salary averaged out each month, it really isn't that big a reduction in pay. 37 hours per week becomes just over 33 hours per week (and that's having ALL the school holidays off). Not so bad when you add back the childminding fees you would save.

But is is a dilemma, I do sympathise.

I think us civil servants are lucky Tinker! Mine go to School club but it is expensive - £20 per day for the two of them, but your Childcare tax credit is supposed to increase to cover the extra if you ring up and tell them about it - this will only cover the school hols though as the increase in fees is for 4 weeks or more.
Term time working is a good idea if you can afford it and your employer is willing.
It is hard though. I wish I could be around more for my 2. Something else to feel guilty about!!

I have 3 children and as they are slightly older, childminders and most play groups aren't really suitable as they tend to deal with younger children and a 10 year old boy isn't that interested in spending his time with 4 year olds!
I cant go term time and only get 28 days leave a year. I practically beg friends to have my ds's, who this summer will be 6 and 10, for a day or so. I am the only person in an office of 18 working women with children who has this problem as all of them except one uses grandparents. The exception has a husband who is a teacher - I don't even have a husband!! There are some activities at sports centres near me but they are at times that wont fit in with my hours and although my boss will be flexible with my starting and finishing times I still have to do 30 hours over 5 days. Unpaid leave isn't really an option for most single parents. Sorry this has turned into a long rant but it is a very big problem especially in the long summer hols. Suggestions anyone?

Gripped by a feeling of dread after reading your message Lilibet! The only solution I can see is to try to find another job that's part-time (ie 9 a.m. - 3pm) and will allow me to take all my leave (plus some unpaid leave) during the school holidays. It would be a very tolerant employer who'd put up with a 6-week absence over the Summer though, paid or not! The grandparents option is a non-starter for me too since my parents are too old to cope with a boisterous 3-yr old for more than a couple of hours.

If I can get ds into a state school then my outgoings will reduce as I won't be paying nursery fees and I have some flexibility since former DP, although crap in all other aspects of fatherhood, does at least contribute financially, although this is now in doubt since he's been made redundant and has decided not to look for another job since he's "always planned to retire at 45"!

Really empathise with your comment about the guilt about all this salalex. I feel awful because my ds cries bitterly every morning as he goes off to nursery, and I worry that before I know it he'll be a spotty adolescent who won't want to know me and I'll have missed his lovely, cuddly years!