Am I being over the top with instructions for Grandmas?

[coveredinsnot]

Hi all, just been writing out a set of 'instructions' for the Grandmas for when I return to work... MIL will be looking after DS one day a week, and for the other 1.5 days he'll be at a nursery. The potential problem is this: I started typing out instructions/ info for different things like feeding, sleeping, what to do in the local area etc.. and it's run into 7 pages! Is this mental? Am I being excessive? It's all written nicely, not patronising, but I'm just being cautious I think because it will be hard for her to call me at work because of my job. Am I mental or has anyone else done this?!?!

7 pages is too much.
seriously, what does she really need to know???

yes it's slightly ott

sounds a bit insulting to me, 7 pages, not like she's a first time mum!

Is this your first baby?

7 pages is a little excessive. Perhaps you could edit it into bullet points?

Seven pages is an awful lot! MIL brought up your dp/dh, it's not as if she's never seen a baby before...

Yes it's very OTT imho.

No, you're not mental.

It's probably important for you to feel as if you have covered all bases if you are going back to work and handing over your little one for the first time.

Talk them through it initially to emphasise the bits you feel important then after a while they can take from it the most helpful elements.

I think you are prob approaching this in a rather overdetailed manner!

How about...

Ask MIL what details of your dc's life and routine she'd like to know and how she'd like you to write them down for her (if at all).

How much info are you sending to nursery? IMO your MIL will need less.

ps your idea of non-patronising and your MIL's idea may well be totally different! Be careful.

7 pages! Take a photo of your MIL's face when you hand that over!

I can completely undersatnd how you feel, especially if MIL has a different take on life, etc to you. But could you cut it down to say 10 or even 20 really key points?

How old is your DS?

My mum looks after my DS one day a week and has done since he was 7 months. I have given her a page on how to work the telly/video/DVD player. And a map with playgrounds marked on it. That's all she needs and is probably all your MIL needs too

TBH if someone gave me a list of helpful hints a page long I'd read it and remember most of it.
If someone gave me a list of instructions 7 pages long I'd read some of it, scan the rest and probably forget most of it!
If she is in a muddle and baby is crying one day and she isnt sure why she isnt really going to put baby down and sit down and read 7 pages in case she's missed something is she?

Write the most important things down and she can ask you things as she goes along (at the start of the day maybe?) and jot notes for herself if she needs to.

There was a thread not so long ago where we reminisced about the ludicrous and elaborate instructions we had all written for carers when our babes were small.

You are not alone in going OTT (which you are!), but don't worry about it - lots and lots of us do it/have done it. Keep it. You will have a really good belly laugh in a few years.

You certainly aren't the only one to have done this. See this thread. It's hilarious.

However, I think the suggestion of asking MIL what she would like to know about his routine/habits/favourite things would be a better way to start than 7 pages of notes! Also can you just spend some time with your MIL and DS so that she can see what you do?

Get her to come over and shadow you for a couple of random days beforehand, you can go along to groups together and make introductions if that is the routine that day. Keep any notes to one page - a typical day say with food suggestions, plus any important info such as local gp, chemist, best friend who could perhaps advise in your absence and any real no-nos. Keep a bag packed for outings and nappies, wipes etc in an obvious place.

After a week or two ask if there are any gaps such as a list of baby groups, coffee shops, baby changing or queries you can help answer.

Thanks for your replies!! I had a feeling it was OTT, hence me asking - will definitely try to reduce it. Problem is, she has very different ideas about childcare to me, her knowledge of parenting is from way way back and she's spent little time with DS (10 months btw) one-to-one, although we're having a trial day this week, it's the only half day she can do before starting properly the week after. I feel anxious about it, but I'm sure she will cope better than I imagine! It has been useful writing it out though. Perhaps I'll just start with a list of activities, local cafes etc, then see what else she needs... Thanks for your advice - potentially saved me from creating a whole world of mess!! Thanks.

7 pages of typed notes is way OTT and quite insulting considering she had raised her own children.

Will she really need a list of local cafes etc, does she live a distance away and not know the local area. As for activities, if she is only having your little one one day a week she may just want to spend the time with him rather than visit play centres etc.

A page with GP dets, any allergies, nap time is sufficient. She'll presumably have contact details for you and DH anyway.