Back to work next week - anyone else worked shifts and managed childcare?

[SAEJ]

Hi,
I go back to work full time next Tues. My DS will be just under 6 months when I go back. I am not delighted at the prospect of leaving him but really have no choice unless I want to stop paying the mortgage.

I will be working 12 hour shifts, 4 on and 4 off, two days followed by two nights. I worked this pattern before having DS (not fun at 38 weeks pg!) but am pretty nervous about returning to it now that I will not be able to nap during the day when I am on nights and because DS is still not sleeping through so I'm likely to have to get up several times a night when I am on days too. Am worried that I will not cope with the tiredness.

Anyone else worked shifts and managed to survive?

This is something I have to look forward to sometime in the future. I will watch this thread to find out some tips. I am sorry I cant help though. My mum worked shiftwork most of my childhood. I remember learning how to be quiet from a very early age. We got sent to out grandparents for night shifts and to a childminder for mornings and after school.

Haven't done it but facing it when I return so you have all my understanding and sympathy.

I can't see a way you wont be vomit-tired, but I'm a lightweight. Are you just not going to sleep for 48 hours on the 2 nights?

I too went back to work when my ds was 6 months old. He is now 2.8, I was a single parent working as a nurse in the army and doing shift work and when needed additional duties. I was lucky that for the first couple of months I did not work lates in the week but did work alternate weekends. Now I work early, lates and nights and still weekends. My son attends a nursery and they are very flexable, I enjoy working shifts and my son is very adaptable, he sometimes has breakfast at home or nursery, the same with lunch and dinner. I am lucky that I have now met someone who helps and have become as father to my ds as I would find work as a nurse very hard because of the unsocialable hours. Good luck with work

tbh I struggled. was still on shifts after dd1 and so was dh. work couldn't / wouldn't comprehend that we had to give the childminder set days and we ended up paying for more care than we used. I was only doing 7.5hr shifts with a 2hr commute and that was exhausting with a non-sleeper overnight too.

everything fell into place with promotion and a 9-5 role when dd1 was 2. Not so much of a struggle when dd2 arrived. Though not looking forward to return this time but still got 6mths to not think about it.

I will be working 12 hour shifts 4 on 4 off - two days followed by two nights - I am a police officer.

Vomit tired is so apt! Not sure how I am going to get to sleep between the night shifts yet. DH works shifts too but a totally different pattern - when we are both on nights is going to be so tough - we think MIL will do chldcare but not sure how she will feel about being woken every 3-4 hours.

I know that after my last night shift I am then going to have to stay awake all day to look after LO and I am likely to have had v little sleep in the previous four days.

I never did mind looking after him as a newborn - night waking seems mild in comparison to juggling shifts and childcare!

maybe have a back up plan incase your MIL gets tired?

I have done this for the last 2 years. 2 youngest in childcare but this for me will get easier when youngest starts full time school in the New Year.

I work a 5 week shift pattern and had to pay a retainer for the days I didn't use in the week. My C/M was a gem, she charged my half for the days I didn't use but I used 3 days if not 4 a week anyway, then it was just ad hoc for Saturdays.

Tbh the crucial bit for me was having a C?M I could trust, I have a job where I have to be totally focussed without distractions - make sure you are happy with your childxare, then you will enjoy things much more.

I find it pretty tiring, so don't be afraid to use your C/M for one of your days off so you can get some well deserved rest, then you will be a much better parent on the days when you do have your lo. Your days sound like you will be the most knackered especially if you have to get up during the nights still. That's why the day off to yourself is so important.

Anyway, I ramble! Good luck!

SAEJ - just noticed your post about you being a police officer. So am I. And I am about to become a single parent to my 5, but luckily work have said they can be flexible with my hours if I work some longer days, I can have an extra day off - have you considered this? Although with 4 on 4 off, I guess that's not so easy. BUt I think 4on/4off is easier than my shift pattern so I think you will find it works ok.

So true that as a seasoned shift worker the new born period just doesn't seem so bad! As we have no body clocks anyway being asked to get up at 2 am just seems fairly fine - especially given that you can go back to bed after 2 or 3 hours! Beats staying up till 2 am the NEXT morning, like work demands! It's really wasn't so bad for me with dd1, but I see when dd2 arrives it's going to be pants. Newborn period must be such a shock to those who have slept every night of their lives on regular hours.

Think polica have the toughest shifts.

SAEJ - all you can do is ask MIL and then tell her your worries about the night time waking. If she agrees to help out, then don't feel guilty anymore, but ask fairly regulary if the arrangement is still ok.
I felt horrid for ages when PIL took over 2 nights a week from 9 months - but now I just figure that if they say it is fine then I have to do them the curtesy of believing them. I do give them lots of oppurtunity to say 'well actually we are getting a bit fed up now' as I think thats right, iyswim

Also - police use the Busy Bees voucher scheme which means they take an amount for child care out of your earning before tax, then tax the remainder. Therefore, not taxed on the voucher amount.

I would seriously consider using a CM as well as your MIL.

QueenEagle - am impressed you have juggled 5!!!!! Amazing.

I applied for flexible working and part time but have been turned down due to nature of my role and rank - eith the 4 on 4 off I work back to back four other men (none of whom have any childcare issues) and therefore I have noone who can assist in allowing me to be flexible or part time. If I change role I will have to take a significant pay cut.

I take your point about a CM - think it might be a serious option - with being full time I think we could manage the cost and I am dreading trying to manage the MIL in addition to everything else!!!!

Good to know I am not the only one trying to deal with shift work.

shiftwork/childcare is hard. in my case both DH and i work for transport fr london. He is on a rolling 11 week roster doing various shifts, earliest start 0445, and latest finish on a late shift is 0115. I had to arrange with my manager to do the opposite to his rostered shift, and we had a childminder to deal with any overlaps in the middle of the day. Also had to pay the childminder for 5 days a week as we didnt always get the same rest days in the week. Most weeks didn't need her for 5 days though.
The problem i found was that i would be getting in from a late shift at 2am, with DH getting up at 3.30am to make his way in. So if DS was waking in the night we would both suffer as we would be the only parent home to deal with him for a large portion! I remember some terrible nights where we were both so shattered, dealing with tummy bugs and changing endless vomit on bedsheets, sort of relay fashion.
We managed for a year and just slept whenever possible! Now i'm pg with number 2 and part of my risk assessment says no extreme shifts, so i'm doing middles with fixed rest days so we are in a much better routine! DS has to go to nursery a bit longer but we all feel much happier. I'm going to go part time when this one is born because i can't do shiftwork with 2 little ones again! Good luck with it, and it sounds like at least you are psyching yourself up for it! I thought it would be really easy and it wasn't!