Supporting team member who has terminally ill spouse

[stickybeaker]

A member of my team at work who I line manage has just had the news her husband is terminally ill. He's been having treatment for some time but now has been told he has a short time to live.

So what's the best way to support her through this? Does anyone have any experience?

Thanks in advance!

Full payand time off until after the funeral and until sheis ready to return

You could speak to HR as often companies have an agreement in place whereby they can source and offer counselling to employees for free. Also, i'm sure you can follow the relevant policies to allow her time off to accopmany her husband to any appointments as necessary. Then there she can always take annual leave, compassionate leave and even unpaid leave as necessary and as things progress. I'd certainly speak to HR to keep them in the loop and get advice on what your company can offer.

My manager has tried to speak to HR but had no luck getting hold of anyone. We work in the public sector, so things can be a bit more flexible than a private company might.

I have the staff counselling service number to give her, but I think she'll receive some support from the specialist centre that he's under.

Just wondered what to expect and how to carry on so that she feels supported but not smothered.

I'd just carry on as usual whilst ensuring she knows what the company can offer her in terms of support. Keep an open door so she can keep you updated and ask you for any additional support as necessary. There's not really much more you can do (except keep on at HR for their input!)

Thank-you

We have this in our team at the mo. I think be clear that they can have the flexibility they need to support their spouse, but also that you as a team want to be there to support them (being at work might be the only steady normal thing, and space for their feelings - my colleagues who have been through similar situations say at times they felt really uncomfortable feelings of anger, or felt they didn't have 'permission' to show their feelings at home). Ask if its Ok to check in with them about how things are going - again, people told me it was really hard when no one mentioned it after finding out. Make plans for how workload will be handed over and managed in case they need to be off suddenly. They might need to be off for periods of treatment, for example, and then back for a while. Ensure they place limits on their workload and don't take on too much. hth.

That is really helpful thanks. I think the point about it being the one 'normal' thing in their lives is really valid.