Interview ..to be asked about childcare, even in round about way

[AuraofDora]

is not on, is it?

got my second interview, first part went well thought to be honest i'm spotty and not at my best (period)!
the second part was with senior member of staff just him and I
he didnt ask to see my work and questions started with how i kept abreast of things whilst on career break (fair enough)
and then went on to say how when his wife went back to work after having 3 kids he was relieved when she decided to work from home
i knew this was wrong but was unsure of how to deal with it, and assured him i have childcare in place and am ready to return to work

but this is wrong isnt it?

i feel completely negative about it now and ruminating over it all, he was quite pleasant but also very negative ...

oh dear this would have been a great job thought it had my name written on it too!

any thoughts? is flowery around? what to do, if anything?

the woman told me to contact her if i have any further questions (they are to let me know on friday, but i know it already, iykwim)

also he said:
you probably wish this job had less hours but it is full time
you wont be able to stay behind

i replied that i knew it was full time and was ready to return to work
i said i would stay behind if the work demanded it but would strive to strike a balance

i mean this is all wrong isnt it?

up until this point, nothing had been mentioned or alluded to

i'm wondering if he is just an outdated old sod or if it's indicative of the whole place?

Not on, but I don't know what you should do about it.
I'd talk to other women working there, i think before accepting the job.

It sounds as though he is making a huge number of assumptions based on the fact that you have children and based on his own preception and views about his wife

thanks

am unsure what to do
he's really put me off the place, just as well as am unlikely to get it

dh thinks he is a massive wind up merchant, but i dont get that feeling..

I recently had an interview where they came right out and asked me what my childcare arrangements were in relation to the post...they had checked the 'equal opps part of the form and knew I was a lone parent'.

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask them if they intended asking the remaining male canditates the same question but I kept hearing voice in my head saying...you need this job, you need this job just put up and shut up!!

But of course that attitude of putting up with it allows this bad practice to continue.

It wouldn't necessarily bother me to be asked about childcare as long as it was up front. This bloke's approach sounds like he was trying to trip you up tbh. And the second lot of questions/assumptions was completely out of order.

I just think that if I have taken the time to read a job description, apply successfully and attend for interview then surely it can be assumed that I am aware of the requirements of the post in relation to time/effort and the knock-on effect on family life.
Therefore the only person who needs to worry about childcare arrangments is me.

I just think that if I have taken the time to read a job description, apply successfully and attend for interview then surely it can be assumed that I am aware of the requirements of the post in relation to time/effort and the knock-on effect on family life.
Therefore the only person who needs to worry about childcare arrangments is me.

Aw, Aura, that sucks.
I'm surprised they asked you stuff like that at an interview - we'd get shot if we asked stuff like that!!

Sorry your interview didn't go how you hoped; I remember your thread from the other day (or I might be mixing you up with somebody else, in which case, forget me, but still sorry it didn't go how you wanted!)

That sounds rubbish. Write down everything he said just in case.

In terms of what you can do, if you don't get the job you could challenge it. There's nothing technically wrong with asking about childcare or anything in an interview. However if male candidates were not asked the same questions and/or you were not given the job because you are a woman and he assumed therefore you would have childcare problems, then that could be sex discrimination.

Might be worth going on the offensive slightly. You could write/email HR with details of the conversation you had with him, exactly those statements and questions he asked. This should make them panic slightly, and tell him off, and also tell him that if he rejects you, it needs to be ultra clear and obvious that the successful candidate is much better so that there's no risk of you being able to claim it was because of those other things. So at the very least it ought to help get your application considered fairly.

Having said that, do you want to work there? This man might be an isolated idiot, so no need to write the whole place off necessarily. But as he interviewed you presumably that means he might either be your manager or at least someone you work closely with?

thanks for replies peeps, appreciated!

Elf - it was me! and the real shame was the first interview (and a half) went well, thepeople i would have worked with directly seemed lovely and got positive vibes from them etc.. so that is something..

flowery - thanks so much for your advice..its true, i am feeling quite different towards the company than i did before, so maybe it serves as useful warning to me, i cant work happily feeling in atmos where it is expected that my personal life will cause problems..

They are fairly small company and dont have any HR dept, or none that has been in touch! Was contacted and interviewed by editor and person i would replace, no written job description or benefits was given
...this bloke probably would be my line manager
they told me only one other person got through to second interview and said she was coming in later in the week, hence they will let me know by end of the week..

I did think to ask for feedback (I know i havent got it) and ask then if other candidate had family commitments?

i dont want to upset things before a decision is made iykwim but in my mind it is over now

i chatted over everything at length with dh and he reckons he could be mad publishing dinosaur type just testing me a bit.. which maybe true but still is against the law really..he was pleasant but so negative about my domestic position..we chatted cycle routes and t'ai chi way longer than any work stuff really after he bemoaned the fact i had no leisure interests on my cv.
...he found great pleasure in a spelling mistake in my cv, which turned out to be pdf / printer mistake, phew!.. fortunately i had hard copy in my case to prove my point!

Either i have lost all ability to read people and situations, or he is a testing character but i was really not that well or on the ball during the interview (wish mine had been later in the week!)

Should i wait til its all over and drop a line to the ceo about the questioning and tone of the interview?
Or an email to my contact reiterating the fact that i understand it is a full time position, asking if there a culture of working late? and stating that my domestic arrangements are happily organised?

I cant be the only woman with kids returning to work, it is descrimination - against mums!

thank heavens am busy with ds nursery this week or this would be driving me nuts!

tia

Agree with Flowery that if he is sexist, it might be a bad idea to work for him

Will he assume you make a lovely cup of tea as well?

So the only other candidate is also a woman? That's tricky then, as you couldn't claim sex discrimination even if he didn't speak to her the same way.

i know guys, tis true

mygreataunt... i do feel like that and rapidly going off the idea and company BUT dh was made redundant a few months ago, its a real needs must situ.. hey and i am happy to make a nice cuppa just so long as its reciprocated

flowery..would you just leave it then and await inevitable outcome?
i suspect the other candidate is already in the business (not returning from career break) and has no domestic commitments..

I would leave it yes. You should ask for feedback and if you felt you wanted to write to the CEO and express your disappointment and concern about how interviews are being conducted, that might be an idea.

If you would be working directly for this person you wouldn't be happy, there would always be an issue overhanging you and should you ever want to arrange holiday for Christmas plays, stay at home because DC ill, or anything like that, it may well be a constant struggle and stress.

Flowery is right

My first thought is ... do you really want to work for this person?