I have a meeting at work later, probably because I have been late a lot lately.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

What am i meant to give as a reason. Because th actual reason is laughable and embarrassing. DH has taken it upon himself to decide that I am having an affair with a collegue so everytime I set off to work an argument ensues, either about my alleged affair or questions about what I have/haven't done in the house/where are the kids clothes/what have I done for tea for them etc.

There are other reasons i.e. my tumbler dryer is knackered so finding time to get my uniform washed and dried if I have been in one night and then am due in the next day is difficult and usually leaves me up half the night, meaning I sleep in.

I have a lot on my mind and so does DH hence the reason he is behaving like a tool.

at your DH

do you think your bosses will accept 'personal reasons' ?

i really don;t know, but i don;t think many bosses would be sympathetic to sleeping in and a paranoid DH. sounds very difficult and i hope you resolve things.

just say you are sorry and you will make a real effort to be on time

get 2 alarm clocks and put one somewhere where you have to get out of bed to turn it off

can you not get another set of uniform?

Your DH needs to get a grip as well but that is a separate issue

not being to stress you further but you do not want to give your employers ANY reason at all in this climate to have a reason to let you go

Sounds like you are going through a really rough time. , and I am sorry to hear that.

However, from your employer's perspective they may accept "personal reasons" in the short term, but they will want evidence that you are sorting it out. Is there any way that you can communicate with your dh and tell him that these delaying tactics must stop, otherwise you may be at serious risk of losing your job.

Can you buy another uniform to ease the pressure of washing?

They provide you with uniform and I'm sure they will give me another one. I have 5 alarm clocks but when I am not finishing work untill after midnight and then I need to wait for my uniform to wash so am not getting to bed untill 3am and have to be in work again at 9am no amount of alarms short of a hurricane will wake me.

DH has more on his mind than me and he is trying to distract himself from what is actualt going on his life by making up affairs etc. I know it has to stop and I think from now I will just totally ignore anything he says about my 'affair'.

you need another uniform - ask today

ignore your DH in the mornings - don't respond to any of his accusations

really hope things perk up for you

i'd make something up about my grandad with alzheimers me being the closest and lack of sleep, but social services have a care homeplace lined up - so sorry for being wankerish, will promise to forever this point forawrd on time.

tell your dh to get a ficuking grip or you will be jobless.

yeah i make shit up.

I second or third the cry for a new uniform - our domestics have a couple of sets (which most do not wash everyday!), we wouldn't expect them to wash n wear each day. That should alleviate the immediate problems of getting to bed late.

No advice re your DH, sorry. Do you think he wants you to lose your job for any reason or ist just being thoughtless?

Custy - we had someone with recurrent attendance/time-keeping problems citing a similar issue and the managers asked to see proof of the care home being applied for (which he was unable to provide within the required time) so he was dismissed. Best not to say anything you can't substantiate.

Perhaps long term this job is not for you. (I am a nurse btw and not being unsympathetic, I just know that some people can't seem to tolerate any sort of shift working regardless of the job, as it knackers up their sleep pattern.) You have to be really organised, e.g. getting another uniform, only do essential jobs when you get home etc.

I regularly get home at 10.30pm, and have to be up just after 6am (and on call all night, sometimes having to go out) but I do understand. More than one of my colleagues has had to move to a job with "better" hours.

Your DH has been giving you shit for months, you really do need to do something about him. Does he want you to lose your job?

I would second the "don't answer him" tactic. If he starts, just say, "I have to go to work, I am not discussing this with you now." And walk out of the door.

Is your uniform so dirty it has to be washed for the next day?
As for Dh do not get into the argument, just say I will be late so I am leaving now.

I'd go with the full on honesty and grovelling personally, plus ask for the new uniform.

The first meeting for this type of thing is almost always a warning. However, providing false information can be an immediate dismissal in a lot of places. Focus on apologising, demonstrating what you are doing to address the situation and apologising some more.

Then give your DH some serious talking to an explain that you might lose your job. Oh, and next time he tries this tactic, the response is "I am not talking about this now. I have to leave for work. If I am late any more I may be fired. We will talk tonight/at the weekend", followed by a swift exit!

Yes he does actually want me to lose my job. He has said several times that he does not like me working there and keeps asking me to look for another job. It started when they were talking about promoting me to management so I think maybe he is jelous or feels a bit inferior? He is used to being the sole provider.

I work in a fastfood place so my uniform is often dirty enough to need washing the next day as I always seem to end up covered in grease/flour/gravy etc. I know its not a great job but they do promote from within and you can work your way quite high up the chain if you want to and I am enjoying having a but of my own freedom that having my own money brings me.

I will ask for a new uniform and cite personal problems.

If he doesn't like you working because he feels threatened by your independence, I doubt getting a different job would please him.

You've posted so many threads about his controlling, nasty behaviour, I just can't understand why you are continuing to tolerate it....

I'm tolerating it because as I have said on otehr threads when things go wrong in his life he takes it out on me and there is something pretty major going wrong atm. He is never perfect but he is never this bad normally. I'm thinking that things will come to a head soon. I am starting to get my confidence back and am less willing to tolerate his behavior, which atm is causing more arguments as I'm letting less things just pass.

The meeting wasn't even about my lateness, apparently I'm not that late that often for it to be an issue and my managers are aware that I have young children and things don't always to go to plan when you have young children.

The meeting was about my till being down once, they have to have cash loss meeting as company policy to offer extra training etc and explain what will happen if I continue to lose money, but as it ha only happened once it shouldn't be a problem.

You work until after midnight one day and then have to be back at work for 9am the next?

is that even legal?

Afraid it is - my sister is a nurse and sometimes has less time than that between shifts.

We are not meant to be there till after midnight but sometimes the close takes longer than expected if we have been really busy. We are rota'd in to finish at 11:30pm, or I might have been meant to finish at 10pm and will stay to help if they are short staffed/busy and 9am is a slight exgeration on my part t'is usually 9:30 or 10am on the days I have be there really early I am finished by teatime or earlier the day before. They are getting me new uniform anyway and inbetween his constant arguments (DH has decided that today, when I have flu, we will sort out the housework) with me DH has agreed to get me a new tumble dryer.

Surely the tumble dryer is for all of you to use?

Glad it wasn't as bad as you thought though.