How long did it take you to settle back into work?

[strawberrycornetto]

Just interested really. I am having a really tough time. I've been back for 2 months now but still feel really low on confidence at work and miserable.

Did anyone else take a long time to settle back? I feel that I should be settled by now and I am worried that I have changed as a person and can't do such a demanding job and balance my home life anymore. DS has been sick, which may not have helped, but at the moment I feel like I am not going to make it, and I need to work to pay the mortgage.

Hi - I remember feeling just the same and didn't really feel settled for ages - possibly as much as 6 months. Of course being apart from DD was the main issue but I think it was also having to go through the "acceptance" ritual with work colleagues again as they had obviously got on fine without me for almost a year. It does take a while to find your new routine and what I found helpful was regularly taking a half day off (as you usually accrue quite a bit of holiday whilst on maternity leave) during the week to catch up on household chores. Once I stopped feeling guilty for leaving my DD 5 days a week at a nursery i started to feel a lot better in myself. Do you have DH/DP support?

Oh I had a terrible time, I just couldn't settle. I think 6 months in was the worst I have ever felt. I felt awful for ages...no confidenc tc

I started to settle after about 9 months. I am so at how long it took me, even reading it now I can't quite believe it...but no one ever discusses it.

However 18 months on, I still don't feel the same, I just think my priorities have changed....but I think you are quite normal

I returned to work after 7 months off, and hated it, mainly because I was bored 2 years before mat leave, so quickly changed jobs, I was focused on the new job I didn't have time to think about missing LO etc.

I settled back in to part-time work straightaway but nine mnths on I am missing DS more and more. Probably because his little personality is developing. Thank goodness I am only at work three days a week and DS only goes to nursery two days a week (DH looks after him one day).And I feel - as I have since I came back from mat leave - that I have nothing in common with my colleagues, apart from work, ofcourse.

That's interesting. I am just back in after nearly a week off with DS who has been sick. I'm trying to draw a line behind the last 2 months and start again, I've felt so disrupted and so lacking in confidence, but I really need to find a way to make this work.

Hi strawberry, sorry it's not got any better for you since we talked on the previous thread. Things have got a little better for me - I had a good chat with my boss, who reassured me that as far as she was concerned things were going fine, and when I brought up a mistake I had been dwelling on, she said not to worry about it, that it was no big deal.

Is there any way of finding out whether your boss is happy with how it's going?

Hi. That's a good idea. I am due to review how things are working in January so I might bring it forward. I was hoping if I waited 3 months, I would be more settled and he would be more positive, but I'm not sure. Its definitely a confidence thing, isn't it?!

I think if you do it earlier, on the off-chance that he isn't entirely happy, you can both class it as 'early days', and so getting that feedback isn't so damaging, there's still time to put things right before it can be classed as 'not working'.

But I'm sure he will say he thinks it's fine, and you may as well know that as soon as possible!