Returning to work next week... ds will be 9 weeks :(

[star6]

Before the please understand that due to our circumstances currently, I must return to work... I can't tell you how heavy my heart is from constantly hearing from people "well, I never left my baby for the entire first year". It's not like I want to... it's something I have to do. I'm a teacher, so it's only 8-4 and my best friend is looking after my baby - she's close to the school so I can pop over midday for a feed or a cuddle or she can pop in with him as well... it's not so bad, but I've gotten so used to being at home with my little one. I don't want to be away from him. It's going to be so hard to leave him next Thursday! Luckily we have winter holiday in 2 weeks time but it's still 2 weeks that I'll not be with him throughout every day. I'm becoming increasingly upset about it. I trust my friend completely and he will be in the best hands possible (other than my own)... I'm just really sad about it. Anyone have positive stories of returning to work???

Whatever you do, whenever you return to work, somebody will think you are doing the wrong thing.

It's really unhelpful of people to say things like, I never did that, or I would never do that.

I went back to work when my DS was 4 months old and previously when DD was 5 months. Needs must. I love being at work and I know my DCs are happy, safe and having fun. I don't often feel like I am missing out and I do my best to make the time I'm not at work as much about them as I can. I think, as long as children are loved, they will thrive whether you are a WOHM or a SAHM.

If you are happy and confident that he will be well cared for while you are working, then try and enjoy going back to work.

He'll be fine. I'm afraid guilt is all part of being a mother. (Sorry if that sounds patronising - don't mean it that way).

You have to do what you have to do. Your baby will be loved by someone close to you whilst you are working to provide a home for him.

I went back to work ft when DS was 4.5 months old, and don't regret it. He loved, and still loves going to nursery, and I'm a much better person for being at work. DS is a very happy, social toddler who still loves me (to an exuberant level)

I agree that people seem to enjoy laying on guilt, and you just have to shrug it off and ignore them

Thanks cmot and remote I appreciate that. Glad to hear that your LOs are happy and healthy when you have gone back to work as well!! No one in RL seems to understand... they always say, "well can't you make it work? we made it work"
well... I would... except I don't have one of those special trees in my garden that grows money!

Children need food and clothes. If your circumstances dictate that you must return to work then don't have a heavy heart. You are making a big enough sacrifice by leaving your baby without feeling bad about it.

Your child care sounds fantastic and think of the holidays. Dont let other people upset you over something you have no choice in - maybe you should ask them if they suggest you both starve instead? That should stop the comments !!!

Star - yes, I know that one only too well. They start making all kinds of suggestions, well meant I'm sure, but like you hadn't thought about things.

When you find that tree, take a cutting for me please

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your kind words It's SO nice to hear that Im not doing the wrong thing! lol cmot You will be the first one I share that tree with
I do love my job so I wont be miserable. My students are age 6-7. just will miss my little ds. But good thing it's not 6am - 6pm. teacher hours and holidays rock.

Well it sounds like you've got a great childcare plan lined up that will work for you all. I would suggest you give some thought to what you would do if your friend was ill as it'll save a panic if that ever happens. In general returning to work terms - just bear in mind that it isn't all bad. Finacially you will be better off - that's not a small thing but contributes hugely to all your happiness, you have all the rewards of working and then you go home to your lovely ds - who will always be pleased to see you because you are his mum.

The year long maternity leave is a comparatively recent phenomenon. Those of us with older kids had 6 months max, and as the last 3 months were unpaid, very many people took less. I returned when my dd1 was 12 weeks, and this was by no means uncommon. I did 3 days per week at this point, but many of my friends went back at a similar stage full time.
On the plus side, a few months old is probably a better age to start leaving your baby than a year old, from a developmental perspective. I've noticed that colleagues who nowadays take a full year off, often have a lot more problems settling their child in nursery or with a CM than I had with my children. So try to look on it as an advantage rather than a problem.
You'll find that you'll quickly get into a routine, and no doubt a few months down the line you'll be enjoying being a mum and having a career too! Best of both!

Thanks findtheriver. I'm actually originally from the US and my friends there think 6 week maternity leave is quite standard and that i'm quite lucky to take 9.
My class are really excited Im coming back so at least the warm welcome and cuddly lovely 6-7 year olds will make the day go by more quickly and happily. I just wish I could pop him in the sling and carry on with teaching

thanks anniemac and northernlurker for seeing the positive side.
I will work on thinking up a good comeback line for those comments from others to have just in caseit does get to me

It's never easy going back to work - but ftr is right that it is considerably harder if you wait until they have separation anxiety. Your dc will be fine.

Tbh at 9 weeks I'd be more worried that you were feeling refreshed and up for it - but I guess that's just because I was still being as lazy as poss at that stage because I could.

Good luck.

My cousin had to return to work when her dd was 6 weeks as she had been ill during pregnancy and had to take maternity leave early.

You are doing what you need to do to care for your child. We all have to make compromises, it is just that some feel bigger than others.

A plus? is that at 9 weeks your baby will be happy to be held/fed comforted by others as separation anxiety has not kicked in yet and by the time it does he should have a wonderful rapport with his caregiver.

Besides - bringing up a baby/child is that work of a community, not just one person. (sorry - little hobby horse then)

My cousin had to return to work when her dd was 6 weeks as she had been ill during pregnancy and had to take maternity leave early.

You are doing what you need to do to care for your child. We all have to make compromises, it is just that some feel bigger than others.

A plus? is that at 9 weeks your baby will be happy to be held/fed comforted by others as separation anxiety has not kicked in yet and by the time it does he should have a wonderful rapport with his caregiver.

Besides - bringing up a baby/child is that work of a community, not just one person. (sorry - little hobby horse then)

Obviously I feel very strongly about that!

Its not like you are "choosing" to, you are having to.

Dont feel bad, but just make sure you don't over do it going back so early (physically more than anything????)

At least you'll have a few hours at the end of each day with DS. 8-4 sound like lovely hours, and you will see him at lunch.

I am one of these year off people (2 months to go) and have loved it but it has made me very anxious about going back to work, at least you will still know what you are doing work wise! I won't have a clue.

In fact I think its harder (emotionally and practically) to go back after a year.