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I am so fed up with work

2 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 22/11/2008 14:35

I have been there about 8 months now. The other day I accidentally broke something and got the cold shoulder from my manager for the rest of the day.

Of the 5 other women in my team, I only like 1 of them, although I am nice to all of them. The thing I dislike is that they all talk about each other and laugh behind each others backs, except for the one who I like who has never said anything bad about anyone and she is truly lovely. With one of them I try to make conversation but she doesn't reciperate and no exageration, the entire shift together (usually about 4 hours) she can only say maybe 2 sentences to me. I did something silly today at work which wasn't a bad silly, just a dizzy moment of mine, and my manager and I were laughing but this woman was just sat there glaring at me and I know she thinks I am stupid. There are only ever 2 of us on together at one time which makes it bearable because if the shift was with all 4 of the bitches, it would be hell.

OP posts:
Charlene1 · 22/11/2008 16:43

Deep sympathies Lola. I think unless you are strong enough and have the confidence and security in your own job, to say something like "oh, we're not speaking again then are we???" to show them up for what they are, then nothing will change.
DP goes into his work, and won't tolerate idiots like that - he has witty put downs and sarcastic put downs that I can never think of quick enough, so it doesn't bother him.
Other than that, sorry, but I have no idea how to make it better as I have the same problem myself!!

I left my last job because my boss and job share wouldn't talk to me - yes, I admit I do stupid things or say stupid things sometimes as I do have a warped sense of humour to some people, but it was unbearable having no one to talk to all day, and no one else liked them, so I knew it wasn't my fault!!

I now work with some immature bitches (younger than me), and a cow (older) that talks down to me at every opportunity/interrupts private conversations/twists things to make you look stupid etc. The boss loves them all and thinks they'e brilliant, and they've been there so long, they have convinced everyone they are indispensable and the two bitches regularly get people sacked if they don't like them. They haven't managed to get me sacked yet, but they avidly work on it!!!

Re the "cow" - if I am having a conversation about something with a nice person at my desk, then she will stride up and "shout "so what are we talking about now girls"?? (nice person is older than cow, so I fimd this very patronising!!). And we say for example, "oh nothing, just going on about Morrisons having chicken Kievs in new packaging" (or something inane like that!!). She will then proceed to lecture us both very loudly about how she makes all her own food, and I should as well, because she can't understand how anyone would feed their kids crap etc. She goes on and on about how wonderful she is, and what she does for her kids and how wonderful they are because she does things "properly", with her hands on her hip, ranting and expecting me to be grateful for her "tips".

Now at what point did I say:
A) I bought them and fed them to my kids
B) I wanted her "advice"
Was I speaking to her anyway??
Is she saying I am a bad mother for feeding my kids processed food - even though I didn't buy them!!!!

The bitches do things like slag everyone off, then are nice to their face, but because I reported them for their bullying and general behaviour, they hate me now. Every time I speak to one of them they pretend not to hear - it goes something like:
Me: "X, y is on the phone for you"
X: (in sneering voice, and with screwed up face) - "whaattt?" I repeat it.
X - big sigh, "put em through then" very abruptly. Then looks at her friend and they snigger. ( I am not her personal switchboard!!!)

If I dare to join in a general conversation and contribute something e.g. "oh yes, I like McDonalds", again I get "whaaatt??", so I repeat it like "I said, I like Mcdonalds". X - "ohhh riigghht" (in a stupid drawn out voice) - more sniggering.

So I sit in silence mostly, and they've "won", becaus i can't stand up for myself and say "fuck off you ignorant nasty bitch" etc.

Pathetic.

I have been there nearly two years. One of the bitches has just been rewarded for her behaviour with a big pay rise, car and promotion as she threatened to leave.
If I told the boss I was leaving, he'd go - "when??"
I have been job hunting for ages - the best revenge would be to get a fantastic job elsewhere and get paid more than them!!!!

Can you tell I had a bad week?????

It's not you Lola, it's them!!!!!!!!

Ripeberry · 23/11/2008 20:32

Best way to deal with "bullies" like that is to ask them questions that they have to answer without just saying "yes" or "no".
They sound very imature or just plain ignorant. Just rise above them, you know that they are being bitches, but they think they are freaking you out.
In my old office years ago, one older lady used to pick on me because i was quiet and did not gossip non-stop like she did.
One day she was yakking away and i said something and she did not hear me, so i said "no wonder you can't hear me,you've defeaned yourself with your own voice.
After that i just did not care what she did or said as i knew she was just ignorant and felt threatened by me.
You need to find out what they are scared of and use it to your advantage. Older women are usually scared of younger pretty women so it shows that they are pathetic really.

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