Eating out etiquette. Advice please

[skramble]

I am doing training courses that end up with us all going for a meal at some point, includes speakers and imporatent chats so want to go but....

how do I deal with the splitting the bill bit? Big group of about 18 people. A colleage and myself both ordered cheaper dishes and shared a side ordered, had two drinks, the guys all ordered more expensive dishes and had own side order some had and extra drink, some of their meals were costing £10 more than mine. One poor guy order the basics and was on soft drinks. So of course at the end of the meal bill arrives and they go right split by 18 that is ££££. Argh my collegue and me are subsidising their meals. Some paid £5 less than their meal actually cost. They are all employed full time at manager level, we are lower down the ranks and part time.

Still got more of these meals to go to, so how do I deal with this. Last meal me and other cheapo just put in a a smaller amount but when it didn't add up they were all confused and other cheapo chickened out and put in the extra. I was trying to explain with out looking like a winge, but I don't think it registered.

HELP!!

The parents at ds's old school would do this, they would have brandy after too. I would say that I had no cash on me and had to pay with my card, thus only paying for what I had. It worked out well for me as my meal would cost half by the time they had all had starters, steaks and brandy.

It's just easier to split the bill, that's all. Next time I wouldn't winge, just make sure you have a blow out too.

If its a smaller group then the bill payer will usually take into account that someone hasn't been drinking the wine etc and tell them to put less in. Or everyone will mentally add up their consumption and pay that plus tip. It takes one person to say if had this much then everyone joins in but its time consuming.

Is there one of them you could point this out to beforehand and suggest teh "cheapos" osrt out on bill or pay % less? They sound a tad insensitive if none of them a) noticed and b) didn't appreciate that you are paid less and part-time

I would roughly add up my own and say is it ok if I only put X in cos I only had this, that and that.

It would be nice not to winge but I simply can't afford to pay extra. I am single, only work part time, the workshops are funded but we have to pay for own food so have other meals to pay for while their. we go for much cheaper options when it just us two. I really don't think it is fair I don't want to pig out, I barely manage what I do order.

I think I will do the no cash option, I will try and catch the waiter earlier in meal and let him know we will pay seperate and let the rest split it. Was a bit pissed off last time as I know their wages 3-4 times what I live on.

I suppose to some people we must be pains but it would be nice if people actually considered other people and don't expect other diners to subsidise their sea food platters and superdooper special dishes and extra booze.

When I go out and don't have money to splash I will just add it up and say is it ok if I cover mine £15 say and that's a tip. Then everyone else follows and the pigouts pay more.

As you order just arrange with the waiter to have your own separate bill.

If you don't want to get into discussions about money you can always say it's because you might have to leave early.

Def speak to waiter easy to claim no cash.

I tried saying how much mine was and just putting that down, but with 10 different conversation on the go and most people happy to split equally I wasn't heard, I really don't want to hammer the table, stand up and make a formal statement .

Will chat up the waiter next time and try to get an extra discount too .

skramble - you need to tell the waiter as you order or before you order because otherwise they will put it all through on one order and then they will have to void it off and put it through again which can be a pain especially if it is busy. If you don't want to say in front of the rest of the table go to the toilet before you order and tell one of the waiters/waitresses what you want to do.

Thanks I will be prepared this time.