Positive stories of not going back to work please!

[cupcakeandtea]

Hi

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and for the past two years I've hated my job and my boss. I get a year's mat leave and I'm seriously considering not going back when it finishes. Financially it would be very difficult if only one of us was working but we could manage in the short term.

This afternoon my boss said some extremely hurtful things to me that really is the final nail in the coffin. In fact, I've been sitting in the loo for the past 20 mins crying, which is most unlike me!

Did anyone either decide not to go back to their old jobs or take a lower paid job locally (I work in London at the moment and have an hour's commute each way).

I left with the intention of going back part time, which didnt work out.
Then I had the intention of going for a lower paid local job (like you we are just over an hour outside London) and to be honest I've not found anything that will even cover childcare costs!
I'm not looking too hard really though any more. The longer I'm at home, the more I've settled in to it and I'm actually much happier at home than I'd thought I would be!
Money is tight but worth it. x

i intended to go back to teaching part time, but found i couldnt bear the thought of leaving DS at 8mo. it didnt help that they wanted to know my plans when he was only 12wks as they were trying to sort the timetables out.

ive ended up being a SAHM, and to be very honest - although i appreciate the time with him and still dont like the thought of others looking after him (how will they understand his grunts and gesturing etc) i found/am finding it pretty difficult sometimes. I have to have jam packed days of fun - baby gym, 'little monkeys', swimming, NCT meetups, le leche league etc just to keep me sane.

Your boss sounds horrible. Why not take the year, then if you are ready to go back, then you dont have to go back to the same old job. Also, you may feel wierd about being so far away from your little one, if you are commuting all that way. Really, you dont know how you will feel until you have them. I was quite unprepared for the intensity of my feelings for him.

I had been doing my job for 6 years and needed a change but couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. When I was pregnant I thought I wouldn't want to go back but thought I might change my mind. No way would I want to go back now. DD is 15 months old and am loving being at home. Pregnant again and salary wouldn't cover 2 lots of childcare anyway so it's a no brainer. Panicked slightly when the new mothers I met started to go back to work but now have a good circle of friends with babies and plenty to do.
DH earns good money so am lucky that can do without my salary though.
(My boss was a bit of a tosser too....
You don't need to decide anything until 8 weeks before you want to go back anyway. They have to assume yopu will go back. See how you feel when the baby is born. Some people can't wait to go back!

Agree with Pooter that you will have to fill your days otherwise it can be v monotonous or the poor thing ends up playing on the floor while you sit on the computer

Unless he leaves I know I won't want to go back because the amount of stress this caused me over the last 18 months is not worth it.

It's such a shame because the cmpany as a whole is a lovely place to work and I've been here for over 8 years now so I've made loads of friends. I guess I'll just have to see what happens. Often life has a funny way of working things out for you!

I loved being a SAHM mother to a baby/toddler for the first two years. The third year I found the time began to drag a bit (she was no longer quite so portable and compliant) and I was quite glad when she started pre-school.

Is there lots going on for mothers / women around you, and can you afford to take advantage of all that is on offer? If so, you could have a lovely time. If there is nothing going on and/or you cannot afford it and you will be stuck at home day in day out you might feel pretty suicidal pretty quickly.

I intended to go back to and also couldn't leave my DD. I made the decision to stay off until my LO's were at school- best decision for them, honestly not always the best decision for me. I know that my kids enjoy being with me and I have missed nothing but by goodness their conversation is dire (4 and 2) .

I now tutor from home and have 1 day a week to do my prep and the kids go to childminders. It's awesome. I am delighted to say that I no longer feel like jumping off a bridge through boredom.

Bear in mind whe you are making your decision that little babies are REALLY cute, hard work but cute. They don't stay cute- they turn in to 2 yr olds

Over all I am glad I've stayed off and whilst there have been real hard times (financially and emotionally for all involved), it has been worth it.

I came back after 4 weeks - two weeks full time then 1 day a week, after 18mths my position was redundant, and I was a fully SAHM for the next four years.

It was very tough financially, but we stuck to our guns, and I'm now back at work 24-32 hrs a week with both dds at school.

Staying with the girls was the best possible decision for us - we seriously discussed DH staying at home, as I had the better job, but flying in the face of feminism or not, I wanted to be home with my baby, and had a very fulfilling, enjoyable few years.

I had hours and hours of fun with both dds, ran an after school club, chaired the toddler group, and learned to grow my own veg, so it was quite productive, really!

I agree with Anna, though - by the time dd2 was within 6 mths of pre-school, I was tapping my fingers on the counter, watching the clock.

I am interested in this too. Anyone else? I am shamelessly bumping!

bump

I left with the intention of never going back - I had hated my job in the 6 years I'd been doing it. I too worked in London and had an hour's commute. Am an accountant so thought I could always work locally.

As it was I gave up work 4 years ago and still have no inclination to return. My decision has partly been due to my husband's work which involves extremely long hours and so I would have had to have done pick up/drop off and everything else on top of working. Fortunately, we haven't needed me to work financially which also helps.

Its not always easy (although I think it is easier than my previously v. dull job) - it can be dull but I worked hard at meeting people (and like minded people too) and taking dd out to things which I enjoyed doing with her. I would have gone insane if I hadn't filled my time.

It has taken rather longer to conceive number 2 than we had hoped and am currently 26 weeks pregnant and I intend to stay off at least until number 2 goes to school although I hear once they go to school its even harder due to holidays/events/sickness so I'll see.

Hi
I left work after maternity leave with DS2 and am now self employed. This is great as I manage my own work load and working hours, I can do nursery/childminer runs to fit in with the best options and can be there if kids are sick etc. Am starting of with one client and hoping to build this up as the kids get older and increase time at Nursery/go to school.

It also means that I can maintain my confidence and although we could manage without my earnings I do feel better when I am contributing and dont feel guilty about the occaisional splurge.

I wont work for everyone as you do have to be disciplined and be prepared to work in the evening when the kids are in bed. It also depends on your skills/qualifications and what you can apply these to.

Initially worked FT but then left work when kids 3 and 1, moved out of London when kids 4 and 2. Now they are both at school and I work p/t three days a week. Not as a solicitor, nor as well paid, but related.

Since I left work I have done loads of PTA work, now continue to help in school, made some good friends. I don't regret it, money has been tight and now that I am working are starting to pay off the debt that we accumulated whilst I wasn't working. Also DH has increased his earnings which has helped.

My kids have really benefited from me being at home and it such a short time, there is plenty of time to work. At times it is boring, depressing, frustrating etc.. just like work but at other times it has been rewarding, fulfilling and magical (not really like work . Good luck if you decide to leave work for a while, but also don't beat yourself up if you dont.

I took the full year's maternity leave, went back for a few months and hated it, so resigned.

I'm still at home 3 yrs later and have just had my second baby

I was very career oriented pre-kids, and do plan to go back to work eventually, but I have absolutely NO regrets about spending my children's babyhood at home with them. There are days when I feel like I am going to die of boredom and days when work would be a nice break , but they are far outweighed by happy times and magical moments.

I left my very good job after my first maternity leave mainly because there had been some really nasty incidences which left me feeling terrible and knocking my confidence. I then took a local job, part time for a lower salary which I enjoyed until I went on maternity leave with #2. I was made redundant from that and planned to be SAHM but even though I was busy I found that after a year or so I was getting really itchy feet. I now work 2 days a week for a charity which I absolutely love. The pay is terrible, I earnt more one year after graduation 12 years ago but it's the best job I have ever had. I am TTC#3 and plan to go back again even though I'll cover my childcare and nothing more because it's a great balance. Having said that, after 6 years of 2 days a week I'm starting to get ready to take on more hours and responsibility