Settling in at CM - your advice please!!!

[beansprout]

Ds2 (9m) spent half a day at the CM's yesterday. It didn't go very well. He spent a lot of the time crying and dh said he was "very withdrawn" when he picked him up. Ds2 was fine after a while with his dad but did wake up a lot more than usual last night.

CM has suggested that he goes back again for half a day on Thursday (I go back to work on Monday). Dh thinks I should spend more time there rather than just leaving him. Much as I hate to leave him (and he was fine when I left him it was when he realised I was not coming back that it got difficult), I don't think me being there is going to help in settle in.

What does anyone else think? The CM thinks I should leave him, dh wants me to stay and I am in the middle with a huge amount of guilt and anxiety about it all.

I know that in a couple of weeks it will work itself out but it is, of course, very hard to think of ds2 being that upset in the meantime.

I would leave him. He'll settle much better once you've gone. It's hard on you because you leave with a crying baby, but they quickly settle and move on. My ds took about four half days with the cm to really settle, now he doesn't give me a backward glance as he runs off

That's reassuring, thank you!

No probs. And don't feel guilty. Your ds will be perfectly happy, he'll have lots of other children to play with, he'll make friends and have a lovely time, and when you get days off you'll appreciate being with him so much more.

FWIW ds went in to melt down this morning when I left him at his cm... he's got a cough and he's a bit clingy when he's poorly. I rang the cm later in the morning and she said within about 5 minutes he was charging around being his usual boisterous self. I think sometimes it's much harder on us!

my ds took about two weeks to settle in. My tip is to get your dh to do the drop off. I found it much easier when I didn't see him being upset [bad mummy emoticon].

Now neither of us get a second glance once her arrives at the cms, dh got a wave this mroning and was very chuffed by it.

Ds spent a week an nursery and picked up a cold and sickness bug. He hasn't caught anything at the cms and she kisses him good bye. It's great.