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Original poster

Flexible working application turned down. Anyone else in the same boat.? Looks like I'll be a SAHM.

45 replies

peachsmuggler · 08/11/2008 10:12

Applied for 3 days a week and it was turned down. They offered me 4 but this isn't going to work for us so I guess will have to reject their offer and resign. In lots of ways am happy to be SAHM but now that it is going to happen, feel a bit scared at thought of not earning any money/having no career etc.

Has anyone else been in this position? How did you adjust your mindset to not going back to work???

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MrsJamin · 21/11/2008 10:11

Haven't read all of the previous posts but I'm in a similar position, a month or two further on - my "3 days work over 4 days" flexible working application was turned down a few months ago with no suggestion of any middle ground. I handed my notice in and have been looking for a job ever since. Have had 3 interviews but have not got any of them (heard about the third yesterday) - I feel really low to be honest. My CV is also rather strange and have put myself into a bit of a corner in terms of what I can do for a job.

The hardest thing is that other mums (of similar age DCs) either know they're going back and plan accordingly, or they know they're not working so can also plan accordingly. I feel like I am floundering, not having a clue what DS and I will be doing in a few months' time. Also it is much harder getting a part-time job from the outset rather than have a full-time job which is then negotiated into a part-time job. Especially in 'this current financial climate'. Sorry I'm probably not making you feel any happier, I'm just there with you!

rookiemater · 21/11/2008 12:45

Hi peach, I'm sorry to hear that your application was refused.

On what grounds are you going to appeal as presumably unless you are changing your request you will have to demonstrate that the work can be done in 3 days, which is their grounds for refusing, and without knowing much about your occupation I would imagine that would be a hard thing to do ?

Its really helpful that MrsJamin has posted, because its a bit of a helpful reminder about the reality of searching for a p/t position in the current job market. Also as your DH is a contractor then unless he has a long contract then no job security there ?

Sorry, don't mean to be overly harsh. Your employers have offered you a compromise 4 days. I know its not what you want, but its better than nothing. You can pack a lot into that day with DD. I can understand that you are not happy about your DD being looked after elsewhere 4 days a week, have you thought about a CM rather than a nursery ? When I planned to go back 3 days I was quite happy about DS being in a nursery but at 4 I felt he needed a more homely environment ( on the advice of some excellent mumsnetters) One of the best decisions I have ever made.

Do keep us posted.

PerkinWarbeck · 21/11/2008 12:57

I would echo that although it can be difficult to negotiate part-time hours, it is harder to find a new part time post. I had ishooes with my old work over how many days I would work, the length of day, and covering on calls. I had to concede quite a degree of ground from what I had originally planned.

However, this has been a walk in the park compared to finding a new part-time post. We relocated to the other end of the country a couple of months ago, so I quit my old job. I work in a shortage area and am very well-qualified and experienced (In 6 years in this role I have been offered every job I applied for). Yet I have only found one employer willing to take a part-timer, and they are an awkward commute for me. But I am going to try it out for 6months as SAHMing is not for me. and we need the money .

Original poster
peachsmuggler · 21/11/2008 14:22

MrsJamin - I feel for you. I can imagine it is hard getting a part-time job and know i'll probably be in the same boat at some point. If I give up work just now though I won't be looking for anything in the neart future i don't think, but completely sympathise with you.

rookie - I am appealing on the grounds that I feel they didn't follow the policy, in that the meeting I was given was really just them telling me they were refusing my request, rather than discussing the proposal. We'll see what they say.

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Original poster
peachsmuggler · 23/11/2008 20:33

little update - Despite their letter saying I had a month to respond to their offer, HR lady called on Friday to check I got the letter and ask what my "initial thoughts" were on the offer. I said I was turning it down and had sent a letter to them saying this and asking for an appeal. She went "OH!!!! ". She seemed really surprised, like it had never occurred to her I would turn them down. hmmm. Anyway, she said she would speak to the HR manager, who I had to send the letter to, and arrange another discussion.

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MrsJamin · 25/11/2008 09:03

that's great peachsmuggler, if you want to stay, fight for it!
an update from me is that I was offered a job so I've got a part-time job in my town on a pretty good wage = happy me!

Original poster
peachsmuggler · 25/11/2008 18:59

Congratulations Mrsj that's fantastic. you must be chuffed!

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pamelat · 27/11/2008 14:14

Can you ask for a 6 month trial of 3 days a week?

Tell them that otherwise you will have to leave and it will take them 6 months to find and train someone anyway?

Maybe even let them start the looking process now and see how the 6 months go?

pamelat · 27/11/2008 14:15

or can you do 4 days worth of hours in 3 days?

Original poster
peachsmuggler · 27/11/2008 16:56

It would be a 6 month trial whatever happens, but could suggest that I suppose. Think it will take them ages to recruit someone else, it always does but I don't know if they seriously thought I would resign. waiting to hear about appeal at the moment. If I did 4 day's worth in 3 days I would not see DD at all for 3 days a week, which would be totally unacceptable to me.

Anyone know what the appeal process entails. As far as I can see it is not specified. the HR woman mentioned a discussion, but haven't heard anything.

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pamelat · 27/11/2008 20:11

I can imagine how you feel.
Maybe the 6 months will show them that you can achieve enough in 3 days?

Original poster
peachsmuggler · 27/11/2008 20:27

Yeah, I think I could show them in 6 months that it would work, but I suppose it's about if they will give me the chance.

I imagine that you have to really work hard, i.e. doing more than your fair share of work, to show that it is working...

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pamelat · 28/11/2008 13:26

maybe just for the 6 months .... know thats a bit naughty though!

lucysnowe · 03/12/2008 13:03

Hi peach

I really sympathise, I am in the same boat. Submitted what I thought was a reasonable request, got rejected but was offered four days a week one working from home. I?m like you tho, four days does seem a lot more than three days ? the majority of the week and it does make a difference IMHO. I am back at work now however (full time for three months only) and am rather enjoying it so now am completely torn. On the plus side, if I was to continue part time, my DD is an outgoing little girl and would probably enjoy nursery - and would be able to stay one day a week with her grandmother. On the neg I have an hour?s commute, would not be making much money and my colleagues would probably hate me for lumping more work back on their shoulders. And I do have a dream of starting as a freelancer, although it might be hard in the current climate. In short: I don?t really have anything to advise but I?m glad I?m not the only person who was disappointed in their flexible working request!

Original poster
peachsmuggler · 07/12/2008 20:40

Tomorrow is the 14th day since they received my appeal letter and they haven't arranged a meeting like they are supposed to. Am seriously hacked off with the whole thing now.

Am going to have to call them to tomorrow and ask what they are doing, though I have a pretty good idea. I think they are probably talking to the lawyers to check that their arguments will stand up if I kick up a fuss and also are probably talking to recruitment agencies to see how easy it would be to replace me if I resign.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh

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ilovemydog · 07/12/2008 20:45

Are you still on maternity leave?

If so, please check the terms and conditions for maternity leave - i.e. if you've taken extended maternity leave as you may be liable to play the company back for anything over statutory maternity pay.

Original poster
peachsmuggler · 07/12/2008 21:00

Hi

Am on EML but according to the terms and conditions I don't have to pay anything back.

I feel like the whole thing could have been sorted out one way or the other very easily with an open and frank discussion, but it has all been sooooo tactical. Annoying!!

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ilovemydog · 07/12/2008 21:06

Wow - re: maternity pay....

Have you actually received the rejection letter? The grounds on which they can refuse are really rather narrow - not just that they'd, 'rather see more of you in the office....'

As you don't have anything to loose, could you call up the person who you feel is most influential and say, 'what's this really about...' or, 'how can we work this out?'

Original poster
peachsmuggler · 07/12/2008 21:13

God I hope I'm right about the pay. I've looked at the booklet they gave me over and over and it doesn't say anythign about returning money...

the rejection letter states 3 of the "list" of reasons. I think their reasons are spurious, but that is only my opinion and I know I am not allowed to appeal just cos I disagree with their reasons. I appealed on the basis that thye hadn't followed their own procedure coreectly.

It is someone fairly senior in HR that I need to call tomorrow as she is the person I sent the appeal letter to. I don't know her, but I think you are right. I just want to find out where I stand, but will not be surprised if she won't tell me and just wants to keep all correspondence "official", they're a bit like that....

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Original poster
peachsmuggler · 08/12/2008 16:06

Phoned them up and they had forgotten about me . Arranging a meeting for this week.

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