Racist comments from a customer at work about Barack Obama. Is there anything I could have said or done? May offend.

[Dragonbutter]

Apologies if this thread offends anyone, and i don't mean to be inflammatory, but i really have got a bee in my bonnet about this and i need advice.

I have a part-time job in a sports club (think white middle class sports club), it's extra money we definitely need right now as DH has been made redundant. I am starting a second part time professional job in about a month and will need to keep two jobs until things improve for DH.

On wednesday (yes i've been brewing since then) one of the club members said she was in a bad mood. I was giving it the customer service concern with 'oh dear what's the matter?'

And she straight up said "What? a damn n*** in the white house? I'm going to give up my american passport!"

I was literally and she was looking right at me as i stood there with my jaw on the floor and my eyeballs popping out.

My manager was with me behind the bar and managed to say something along the lines of, 'there's a turn up for the books' or somesuch while the woman continued to rant. I was so uncomfortable as i found myself in a position that i felt was unable to say anything and so just walked off and pretended to do something else, inwardly seething.

Now the woman is in her 60s, maybe 70s and white. As far as i know she grew up in hong kong or at least lived there for a while and obviously has british and american passports. I really don't know any more about her.

as a white woman, i've been accused of being over-sensitive about race issues on here (yes mrsthierryhenry i'd really welcome your opinion on this one).

What i want to know is...
a) what's the best way to handle this situation?
b) is there anything i could have said or done and would there be any point?

I need my job but hate to be in this position where I am having to be polite to this woman.

I am unfortunately going to post and run as i have to work tonight, but will check in again later. I may be able to lurk from work but won't post.

I agree with solidgoldbrass.

She is an old lady with (thank goodness) out of date views.

RFubbish

She is less than a generation older than my parents
My grandparents hold old fashioned views but would be ed at her

I mean, my grandparents may make a comment of the same type, but would not use that word and would be of the "never thought I'd see it in my lifetime" type of comment, not disapproval

Think your response was fine - jaw dropping to floor...

Maybe I would have said re: giving up US Passport, 'shall I give you directions to Grosvenor Square madam, or shall I call a taxi...'

Wannabe, I don't see why the OP shouldn't be personally offended just because she is white and the comment was about someone else.

Men can be offended by misogyny, white people can be offended by racism. Can't they?

I find the old bat's comment offensive, I find the use of that word very offensive in any context. I'm not black and nor is my husband. I live in a very white area and barely know any black people because there aren't really many in this area, I still find comments like that completely unacceptable.

'shall I give you directions to Grosvenor Square madam, or shall I call you a fuckwit...'

georgi, that's what I was tryng to say. I wouldn't feel personally insulted but I would feel insulted iyswim

oh well I cant be right all the time

Personally, I couldn't have stayed quiet. I imagine I would have said, "I beg your pardon?!" and given her one of 'my faces' - and then gone on to attack her racist opinions if she replied.

But then, I'm a mouthy cow and loathe bigotry.

As long as people are scared of speaking up against such bullies and bigots, racism, sexism and every other kind of ism is perpetuated. Silence is a silent 'yes', I feel.

Your boss really should have said something.

Thanks everyone for the advice.
I've been at work having fantasy confrontations all evening where i imagine i say just the right cutting comments to her leaving her slain in realisation at what a horrid cowbag she is.

In reality, i may mention it again to my boss next week and find out how they would normally deal with this. She will continue to be given duff partners to play with and maybe i could forget her court bookings once in a while.

This thread however has made me feel i could have a conversation with her about it, so we'll see what happens.

hobnobfanatic, i think that is why it's irked me so much. it's not just what she was saying that i have issue with, it's that i didn't speak up there and then.

She doesn't care what you think, she thinks it's fine to think like that and to say things like that.

I doubt very much that anything you said would have any effect, sadly.

thanks again, i'm feeling much calmer about this now.

don't do anything (forgetting bookings etc) that could be used against you!

not even an incy wincy mistake?

wonder if obama plays tennis?

i might put a poster up of the williams sisters