Family friendly job I hate or dream job that will mean less family time?

[clemette]

Evening all - I was wondering if anyone could give me some input on a dilemma I am facing? I have two los - DD is 3.5 and DS is 10months. I work full-time as a teacher and find that teaching is pretty family friendly most of the time (I can pick them up from nursery before 4.30 most days, and of course I have school holidays with them). The problem is I have started to really dislike teaching and it has made me reconsider my career. In fact my job makes me very miserable and stressed every day.
I have been successful in getting a place at medical school which has been my dream since childhood but, of course, even the course is much longer hours (9-5 each day).
So - what to do? Stick with a job I dislike for the sake of my children, or pursue a career I crave and put my own ambitions first?
I am happy to take frank comments
Thanks, Sam

Pros and cons for both-job you like = happier mummy, who is more relaxed and more able to spend quality time with dc's, although the guilt about them being at nursery for long stretches and having to be in clubs during the hols is bad. However, job you hate = less guilt but crabbier mummy, so life will not be as rosy at home anyway, which means more time, but much less quality time.

if you can do the course without being stressed and miserable [ie you have good support from partner and whoever], do the course

Is it the school you are teaching in, what about a change of school. I have recently done that and am amazed at how different my job is and how happy I am

I don't think it is the school - I have been teaching for 12 years and have lost my passion for it so every day seems a struggle. My students are great and evrything but my heart is no longer in it!

Teaching is the worst job in the world if you have lost your passion, I would move on.

A job that makes you feel unhappy will be having an impact on your dc anyway. Your dc may not notice an extra hour at nursery and they'll be at school before you know it.
I know a mum at school who is a cons paed and picks them up every day and I know a gp mum who works 3 days a week - so is it always going to be full on?

If your heart isn't in it move on-it is too draining and life is too short xx

Lots of children of doctors at my dcs' school, but mums have generally chosen family friendly areas such as being a GP or pathology. IMO something like surgery would be a nightmare because of the shift working and unpredictable finish times, but if you have the right support network you can do anything! You will be a better parent too if you are doing something you love and your children can see that work can be fun and fulfilling, not just a way to pay the bills. Go for it!!

Absolutely - do what you love.

But studying medicine will be hard with two children. So bear in mind that while the long run might pay off, you're not going to love it necessarily for the first few years anyway as full days at uni followed by endless homework will be tough.

Thanks - that has all been really helpful.
Suddenly changing careers seems like a huge deal, but I suppose people do it all the time!

What would you most like to hear? If we all said go do medicine do you feel lighter?

If we say stick it out for the sake of your family do you feel better or a sense of dread?

I think you do know what you want to do but it is not ideal and involves a compromise.

You can always go back to teaching if you want/need to.

If the course does not work out/or you feel like it is one step too far - you can go back to teaching.

9-5 is not bad as most jobs would be longer hours than that

Finally you need to do the thing that gives you energy or you will not have enough for your family when you are with them whether that is all day or 4 hours a day

Your training would be finite, so I'd do the medical training.

My mom was a pathologist and then retrained as a GP. She loved it, and also she's happy in her career...

The hours of medical school won't be the rough bit - it will be the studying for exams at night with 2 children, and you will need to factor this into your plans.

Good luck

What a fantastic group of people mumsnet has.
Thanks everyone for their honesty.