No References after 10 years at home, is it still possible to get a job again?

[Giuliettatoday]

Hello,

I have been a stay-at-home-mum for 10 years, which is probably the biggest mistake I made. However, it is now too late to change it.

But, what do other mums do after a long gap in their CV without references?

Most employers require two references, which I simply can´t provide.

I contacted my last employer and she was kind but obviously couldn´t really remember me and was not really happy to act as a referee. I´d feel embarrassed to chase her up again. The other one is not related to the area I wish to work in now, dates also 10 years back and I have not even found him yet. Even older ones would be in my home country.

Basically, I came to the UK, had two jobs briefly and with my dh working crazy hours, stayed at home to look after our 3 dc, but I could kick myself for not even maintaining a couple-of-hours-job.

Now I am planning to start out as self-employed but would love an extra job at a school as an instrumental teacher.

I have lots of qualifications including uni and music academy degree and PGCE equivalent, only higher, from my home country (EU), but I am 40 now with this huge CV gap and no references at all. It is as if I have just woken up from 10 years in a different world with dirty laundry and nappies, and now my youngest has started school.

What have other people done in a similar situation? What to put in the CV and how to word it? Is there a way back, or is this it? This is making me feel depressed.

Do you have other roles in the community - you can ask for references - if you are on any commitees, or organize any clubs, playgroups, so on - doesn't have to be work employers I suppose.

I did a voluntary job completely unrelated to music whilst a SAHM but even that stopped a couple of years ago.
So that might be a possibility, but even then, this would only be one reference, and for most jobs I would need two, and I think at least one should be work related.

If you're religious, you could ask a leader there if they would give you a character reference or do voluntary work for a few months to get a 'worky' type reference. If you've helped at your dcs school in nay capacity, see if they will give you a reference.

It's a nightmare - have just had this experience today. I worked for HSBC for two years between 1998-2000 - much of that was on maternity leave (wink). I just got my first job after 9 years at home and discovered that HSBC won't give a reference - records are destroyed after 6 years..... Don't want to go back to my old boss after all this time. I had hoped they would just provide something that says I worked there, as I have other references from voluntary work while on career break. Have now sent new employer my HSBC P45 which proves I did work there and details for another referee. I hope that will suffice - would hate new job to slip between my fingers because of this reference problem...

Maybe do a bit of temping and ask the agency to give you a reference. You may even work for someone you feel you can ask.

I worked voluntarily in school for a year, after a 10 year career break, and used the teacher whose class i had been in for a reference, and also our Priest. Most of this I know has been suggested, but just wanted to let you know that doing it this way does work, as I am now employed again . Good luck, its amazing how quickly you get used to working again. I have been off sick all this week, and I'm really bored now.

I have the same problem. Have been a SAHM for 15 years and all my qualifications/references are more or less obsolete. I tried to get a job but then went back to college so when I next apply for a job I will give a lecturer as a reference.

Do you do anything for the PTA at school? I used the Chair of our PTA as a reference (I have just reurned to work after 5 yrs at home)

This is very depressing. Even temp agencies won't take you on without references and not from other temp agencies, either. And they want them within the last two years, and work related, supervisors. They insist on it as if their client companies won't take anyone on as a temp if they haven't been working full-time "real" not temp, recently.

I've been told to either volunteer somewhere, and have it be for at least 16 hours per week, and then use that place as a reference like six months later when you've been there long enough for an employer to view it as "long enough" and the other suggestion is to go back to school, even vocational education at the local free adult school if that's all you can afford, and let the school place you in whatever they do. Like take an On-the-Job-Training class in something and then use that as a reference, since that will be at least a semester or two.

Both of these suggestions take a while, I know. It sucks for those of us who have been SAH's for years and now have lost the source of our income. And have to deal with it taking 6 more months to a year or two of volunteering and/or going back to school before we get "employable" again.

I'm so depressed from all of this I am going to have to resort to claiming severe depression as a disability just to get SOME income from the government! This sucks. I have my Bachelor's degree in Environmental Science with a math minor and it was only 11 years ago, not twenty or thirty. I've not only kept up with but actually increased my typing speed and computer literacy skills to the point where I am an expert on almost every normally used computer software known to mankind. And I still have to resort to all this just because I was a stay-at-home for 5 years and counting.

what kind of work are you looking for, perhaps you could do some voluntary work for a bit and get some references from that, plus some recent work experience to.

Sorry late night and not reading posts properly