I'm going to cut and paste my usual cv advice first -
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'Put personal information at the top (name, address, contact number only, not 'married 3 kids age 37 favourite colour blue').
You could put a personal profile-type statement after that, just a couple of lines summing up what experience/skills you have to offer and the type of position/company you are looking for. Obviously make sure these tie in with the job you are applying for.
For each job, put dates, job title and employer, in reverse date order. For most recent/relevant jobs put a list of bullet points of main responsibilites and/or achievements. Do this with the job description for the job you want in front of you so you can emphasise relevant stuff.
Then qualifications/training. List in most recent order, include relevant training courses and higher education if you have it. Don't put Home Ec O Level. Everything on your cv should help you get the job you are looking for, and school exams usually won't unless you are a school leaver or very early in your career.
Don't put photos or anything else annoying and irrelevant, don't put it in a folder or on pink paper, don't staple it. It needs to be easy to read and easy to copy. Put page numbers and your name in the footer of each page in case of mishaps with photocopying. '
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In addition to that, in MrFlamesparrow's case, I would suggest a 'skills' type section to come straight after the personal profile and before employment history. In that section make sure he lists all the relevant skills needed for the job he's applying for. Where the job he's applying for is so different from his previous work history and where a lot of the skills aren't gained in a work environment, I think that would be best.
Having said that, I am prepared to bet that, however unrelated his previous experience, there will be some transferable skills of some kind in there that he can emphasise.