Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Feel like I need back up childcare for my childcare IYSWIM

47 replies

spiderbabymum · 26/10/2008 22:11

I am currently hoping to go back to work 4 days per week . Working days will be 8:30 to 17:30 or later !
My ds is in a nursery . I have NO family nearby , have only lived in the area for 3 years , and my partner works away mon - friday .
My job is in healthcare ... and basically if Im not in it makes life pretty miserable for my colleagues .... and I will not be taken seriously if this happens reapeatedly ...if at all .
My worry is what happens if my lovely ds is ill . I hope this doesnt sound harsh but I would be very uneasy having to stay with him at home for most of the usual childhood illness stuff EG chickenpox. OF course If I was worried Or he was Miserable with it then I would want to be with him .

He is currently settled in nursery 2 days a week and seems to like it . I would hope to increase the nursery days ..........

But if he hs diarrhoea ETC hes excluded for 48 hours .. that would be a disaster .

I realise that a childminder is more flexible .. and that I could prehaps afford to have a nanny in my hoome for some of the extra days .

I thought I could get around the illness thing by having someone locally sort of on standby . I would rather pay someone . Has anyone any experience with this kind of thing ? or any advice .

Will I just have to bite the bullet , hire a full time nanny ... and completely change my little ones currrent routine .??? Thanks for listening .

OP posts:

littleducks · 27/10/2008 08:03

I appreaciate there must be a great deal of pressure on you and although you are often legally entitled to thing employers can make it seem so awkward.

Your child will envitably have coughs and colds and minor illnesseprobably slightly more often if in a nursery due to the contact with other children.

If your child was to develop chicken pox/croup/slapped cheeck, which are probablythe ones that you would really need to be there, could you not approach it from the fact that as your son has a contacious illness it would not be a good idea for you to be seeing patients?

There are some nannies that work on an ad hoc basis but obv you cant guarantee they would be available when required and your child may settle less well if they are ill and not appreciate the change in routine.

drowninginlaundry · 27/10/2008 15:01

I think one of your posts said it all

your child has TWO parents. It's not just your responsibility to juggle work and childcare (and other aspects of raising children), thus in effect doing two jobs.

My DH works away mon-thu, I am not planning to go back to work until next summer but when I do, he will have to change jobs so that he's able to share the juggling, this we agreed long time ago. I know lots of single mums manage to do it and do it amazingly (hats off to you, you are my heroes) but if you have a partner, it's all hands on deck if both of you work. Then, in an emergency, you share. Sometimes you stay at home and take the flack, sometimes it's his turn.

If he is not supportive of your career aspirations, that's very, very sad.

ilovemydog · 27/10/2008 15:06

help?

rebelmum1 · 27/10/2008 15:06

Get a nanny..

rebelmum1 · 27/10/2008 15:08

Not sure why you think nursery is the best option under these circumstances.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 27/10/2008 15:13

We have an au pair mainly as backup childcare. It's been fine except I had to take time off on Thur and Fri because the au pair was sick at the same time as ds. (However that was sort of because I could - if it had been a real emergency she would have looked after them even though she was not well herself, just like dh or I would have to.)

You can't leave a sick child with a childminder and I honestly think it would be hard to go off and leave a sick child with an emergency agency nanny who you didn't know and the child wasn't used to.

IME children are ill a lot, especially if they go to nursery. Probably no form of cover will cover you 100%, but if you can at least find a way to cut down the time you take off, it will help. Even if you do have a legal right to time off etc, it is still worth doing what you are doing now and looking into it.

rebelmum1 · 27/10/2008 15:14

You're making a rod for your own back, the hassle of trying to juggle a demanding career and travelling between your home, nursery and work in tight timescales and deadlines.

RubyShivers · 27/10/2008 15:17

a nanny is very expensive for one child and compared to a nursery but agree it could be the solution for you

have you discussed this with your employers - do you really think they will be put out/never experienced this before?

cuttingmeownthroatdibblaaaargh · 27/10/2008 15:24

I'm thinking that what you need is a sort of 'rent a gran'. I had one when I was 5-14 who my mum could send me to before and after school, on 'not really ill enough to need mum, but too ill to go to school/infectious' and other odd days in return for my mum doing some gardening for her.

Maybe theres an older lady who is local to you that might be interested in a fixed number of hours a week cleaning/babysitting with the intention that she could cover for you if necessary - we have this with our cleaner as DH and I both travel and dread that DS is ill when one person is away.

If things aren't good at home, then prob the best thing you can do is to make sure that you have a way of supporting you and DS

rebelmum1 · 27/10/2008 15:27

Not with two parents working full time and you are on a GP's salary ..

rebelmum1 · 27/10/2008 15:29

look

WideWebWitch · 27/10/2008 15:33

I think you DO need a back up and I think a child DOESN'T need a parent there for minor childhood illnesses thgat are serious enough to be off school/excluded from nursery but not serious enough to warrant the time off from a parent.

Can your dh rethink his travelling? Otherwise I agree, an au pair/nanny arrangement might work.

You might be lucky, mine are hardly ever ill thank goodness and so we haven't had to cover much sickness, maybe yours will be the same.

WideWebWitch · 27/10/2008 15:34

Hang on, why is anyone commenting on the OPS (assumed) salary? Not on imo

rebelmum1 · 27/10/2008 15:41

Well the obvious solution is a nanny, someone commented that it was too expensive and if you are on a doctors salary then it is certainly financially viable. There are people on MN who really do have their backs against the wall struggling to find childcare on low wages to cover their 12 hour shifts and cannot afford such an option.

RubyShivers · 27/10/2008 15:44

we are on two full time salaries (both of which would be considered good) and we couldn't afford a Nanny after our basic costs are paid so i wouldn't assume the OP could either

WideWebWitch · 27/10/2008 15:48

But we don't know the OP's outgoings so it seems a bit of an assumption to say she can def afford a nanny

Kathyis6incheshigh · 27/10/2008 15:49

also if she works 4 days and is youngish and has not been working for a while it's a safe bet that she will be making well under the average GP salary.

Millarkie · 27/10/2008 16:30

I've got school age kids now, but when they were little we used a nursery and later on we had a nanny - to be honest if they were sick enough not to go to nursery they needed a parent's cuddles, I couldn't imagine being happy leaving them with a 'stand-in' - niggling colds etc, they had to stay at nursery and chicken pox was a bit of a disaster but at least it's a whole week with the child (so long enough to get a locum in).
What would your employer do if you had a sick day (if you yourself had d and v for example) there must be ways of coping if you can't work for a day?
In our experience we still had to take a similar amount of time off work when we changed to a nanny - due to nanny sickness (they do get sick - although nannys who post on the internet are the lovely type who go to work anyway - our real life nanny took real life sick days), child sickness (ie. very bad illness which needed parental cuddles), nanny holidays (she got to chose 2 weeks) and nanny not turning up because car broke down, partner was in AandE, grannie fell down stairs - I think in the year that we had the nanny I had more emergency annual leave to take than when we used a nursery. Just wanted to warn you that a nanny is not a fix-all solution...finding an acceptable way to take short-notice leave is the best option..I hope your employers will support you in this way.
(And I currently have an au pair who is great for 'oh no the train has broken down' type emergencies, but it's not recommended to leave an au pair in sole charge of a child under 3 years of age, and it would be a rare au pair who would be ok to look after a grouchy sick child (some of them have childcare experience but most don't).
Good luck

Fennel · 27/10/2008 16:39

What I would do in the OP's situation is work up my local networks - friends, neighbours - to try and find someone who could be asked to step in in emergencies. (and someone I could do favours back to, either childcare or other, so it didn't feel like such an obligation). And then if I didn't want a nanny for most of the time I'd find a good emergency nanny service - they do exist, even in rural areas. They aren't cheap but I think they would cover this sort of emergency.

I'm a bit sympathetic, my dsis and dbil are GPs and I often cover childcare for them as their jobs are so inflexible. (they do a lot of regular childcare for us, but I do all the emergency/short notice/irregular stuff because my job lets me).

Kathyis6incheshigh · 27/10/2008 16:50

Good point re au pairs, sole charge and babies Millarkie. I specifically made sure I found one who was slightly older than average and had more childcare experience - the average 19 year old who's just done a bit of babysitting would not be suitable in this situation.

Original poster

spiderbabymum · 27/10/2008 19:04

Thanks for your posts .

What rang true with me most was cuttingmeownthroats comments about a rent a gran ...or local woman preferably with lots of experience of children who could babysit every so often and do the odd day if needed . That would be wonderfull .

Know it will work out somehow . Suppose I dont want to be over-reliant on friends at this early stage which is why Im expolring my options .

OP posts:

hotbot · 27/10/2008 20:00

hi,
i also have aresponsible job in the nhs, dd is 2 and i have lost 2 days in total with her being off sick. my mum was ill and minds her 1 day a week , back up was nursery, but they were unable to help out. the 2nd time was when she was too ill for nursery, cold and cough, but back up, mum couldnt help out either. My point is I had a back up but both times it failed,at the time i took a.l. as i felt better thst way - also want to say no matter what the back up if your little one is ill - you really want to be there yourself to look after them.
btw mum and nursery are brill -dont want to give the impression that they are flaky -

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread