Offered dream job, 8 months pregnant, they will wait up to 18 months.. but job is o/s

[svalbardy]

HELP.
After giving up on academia when my (postdoc) grant funding ran out 2 months ago, to have kid number 1, I have now been offered absolutely seriously dream job, and they will wait up to 18 months for me to start, if I accept in the next couple of weeks. It is full time and tenured, and I have been trying unsuccessfully to get a job in my (very very small) specialty area for YEARS....

BUT the job is in Germany.

DH is in Cambridge, his career is firmly tied to research groups here, and is not transferrable to random small town in Germany (or anywhere within commuting distance).
He would make an ok stay at home dad, apart from the fact he has never learnt another language in his life and wouldn't know where to start with German. He has even said that this would be a possiblity.

But it would wreck his career to move.

And I will possibly not ever have a career again (at least not in my special corner of academia) if I don't take this once-in-a-lifetime job.

CRIPES. anyone got any advice?

I know when I had my 1st dc,every1 told me how 'lifechanging' it would be. I thought I understood and was prepared but in hindsight don't know how I'd have managed without my family and friends over the first couple of years. It also puts a huge strain on your relationship with dh/dp.

Do you have family and friends who would help out and give u and dh some time together over here? and who would support you in Germany?

If you think you'd both cope then it sounds like an unmissable opportunity, especially as dh is willing to make the move. It would also be great for your baby, growing up abroad, probably bi-lingual and knowing there's life outside of sunny England!

Talk it through carefully with DH, if he is happy to to take on the SAH role, go for it .. just keep talking and ensuring both of your needs (personal development in whatever form that takes) are being met...careers can be re-started in many forms

We moves somewhere new when I was pregnant with DS1.. it was scary and sometimes a little lonely, but ultimately one of the best things we have done for our family