Got to tell a lady at work that she smells- really really bad

[Moogatron]

Her office stinks, is filthy, so is she with unwashed hair/ unwashed clothes etc. She's really sensitive. Has anyone else had to do this or something equally personal? Does anyone have any tips for how to do this?

Your thoughts would be gratefully received!!

had to do it to our secretary, she wore the same clothes everyday, and wouldn't remove her coat after a while. her hair was disgusting and never washed to. i just told her that she is the first point of contact for all our clients/visitors and that if she didn't make an effort with her appearance & hygiene(take the bomber jacket off/wash) and look smart as is required for her post, i would get her a uniform. it worked for about a month, then gradually slipped again. she's gone now anyway so no worries anymore.

ok. someone needs to talk to her in an 'are you ok' kind of way. has she always been smelly or is it since her parents died? seeings as she opened up to you about it maybe she'd be ok talking to you?

Well I did it!

She said that she didn't know what more she could do to stay clean and she had air fresheners for her office . We went through her cleanliness regime and worked out where she could change e.g, `wash her hair more often and about clothes changing/washing. The remaining 45 mins was spent dealing with the fact that she hates herself and doesn't think she deserves to be happy after she had an affair with a married man 30 years ago because she 'ruined' the other woman's life. We talked more on this and also her relationship with her sister (she reverts to childlike language and behaviour when she talks about her.) She has agreed to see a local welfare service and also talk to her GP. I am seeing her again in a week. Thank you for all your help. The blunt approach worked and she apologised for what must have been an embarrassing thing for me to do! I'm not sure if she'll improve, but with a lot of plodding, we might get there!

Moog sounds like you handled the situation fantastically, and have helped the woman begin to address some other issues as well.

Well done, Moog!

Hope she gets some help for her other issues, too.

If I was smelly, you d be the person I'd want to tell me.

(unintentional rhyme)

An office i worked in back in the early 90s had a problem with the "bin lady".
She was a cleaner but was in the building most of the day and would use the lift quite a lot.
Problem is that people started to avoid going in the lift if she was in it and she got quite upset about it.
We were in a 12 storey building so it was a bit of a hasstle.
I did try and ride the lift with her but it used to make me feel really ill.
H.R had words with her numerous times but she did not/could not do anything to rectify it and they ended up sacking her

Ha, just had a 'learning to give feedback' session which gave this issue as an example of how to deal with a situation.

Said that the way to do it is to put it like 'Are you aware that you have a strong personal odour?' Then the ball is in her court and she can save face and say '!!! No I didn't, but I will sort it out.'

difficult one to deal with, sounds like Moogatron sorted her issue out very well. I've actually been on the receiving end of this once, I was 19 and I tend to self medicate for colds - which in my case invovled drinking tons of ginger and lemon hot toddies. I know this sounds weird but the ginger made me sweat loads and also pushed out stuff through my pores, of course I didn't smell anything because I was full of cold. I hated the way it was done though, it was the boss of the whole outfit (I was a lowly admin assistant) and she made me feel really young, stupid and awful, I remember going home and crying.

She just came up to me when I was on my own in the office and said - "is there anything wrong with you medically" I had no idea what she was on about so I just said no - I thought she meant something to do with disabilities or similar not a cold! Then she said they'd had complaints from clients and the smell was overpowering.

I've been paranoid abotu it ever since, I'd hate to have to do this to someone but I think there's several ways to make it easier.
1 If at all possible make it someone who has a good friendly relationship with the person
2 Dont' make it a a 'boss to worker' intimidating you've doen somethign wrong kind of chat
3 Start by saying this is personal and is this a good time to chat
4 Explain that you are sure they havn't noticed the problem and that you are embarrassed to raise it
5 Say you'd like to help work it out
6 Give them chance to talk about anything that might explain it/help. For example in my current job we spend all shift lifting and moving in very hot stuff places - if I or anyone ending up smelling something I'd like to suggest would be uniforms, or a more relaxed dress code (Tshirts), or even showers.

I do like the general suggestions about soap etc in staffrooms, I'd love it if my workplace supplied nice soap, body sprays, and hand towels for freshening up before o mid shift.