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Does dh need to grow a pair or is he right to fear for his job?

47 replies

theSuburbanDryad · 09/10/2008 14:00

Ok - very brief outline:

DH works in PR, for a small(ish) company which mainly employs family and friends. He was headhunted for the job, which has since turned out to be somewhat different from the original offer.

He has to work 9-6 every day, often working much later at home, and at weekends as well, to complete things for deadlines. He says that this is the norm for his office, that it's just expected of him. He has a tiny, cramped desk (which is against H&S) and he doesn't usually get a break throughout his working day at all - not even for lunch.

The latest thing, is that he had a hernia operation last Thursday (which he had to book off as annual leave) and throughout the week - while he was supposedly on "holiday" - he was receiving emails with assignments for him to complete by absurd deadlines, a few hours to do a day's work, that sort of thing. I asked hm what the hell he was doing checking his work email while he was booked off on holiday and, again, he told me it was just expected, that if he doesn't do things like this then he can expect to lose his job.

I've been looking at the ACAS website and have just told him to put his grievances in writing and give them to his line manager, this was his response: "i know, but if i do that i'll have to leave anyway." So I said that it doesn't matter that the company feels they're beyond the law, you have to make them play by the rules, and he said that even if he took them to a tribunal they wouldn't pay, and until then he's a problem to be got rid of.

What should he do if he genuinely feels he can't go down the "correct" grievance procedure, and is he being paranoid in thinking that the company could just effectively ignore a tribunal?

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 15:15

Sorry, edam as well with the small things.

edam · 09/10/2008 15:17

what would happen if you did?

MadamDeathstare · 09/10/2008 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MisterUrbanDryad · 09/10/2008 15:21

The advice on changing small things is good, but again there's little I can do.

The offices are hugely overcrowded and there's literally no room to move anywhere else. It's a bit of a sweatshop environment.

I've also got to put up with listening to other people in the office playing really naff chart music and 'RnB' through speakers at their desks. I tried to address this situation, with the result that a compromise of 'we'll only play it in the afternoon' was reached, which is still pretty shitty.

I just want out as soon as possible really, and there's no point trying to change anything.

Anyone with suggestions about how to reach a career or life coach gratefully recieved, and if anyone knows one, I'd love to be put in touch.

The thing is, I know I'm good at what I do. There's certain areas in which I'm probably better than anyone else in the country. But all I'm doing at the moment is making money for other people, and not seeing any representative benefits.

This needs to change, but unless I start working for myself, or going into partnership with someone who can handle all the stuff involved with running a company that I couldn't manage, it's not going to happen.

MisterUrbanDryad · 09/10/2008 15:26

I'd still have the same amount of work to do, but even less time to do it in.

theSuburbanDryad · 09/10/2008 15:27

Thanks for all your advice everyone. It's nice to not be the one having my ear chewed for a change!

(See!! MN rocks! )

OP posts:
hatwoman · 09/10/2008 15:30

tbh it sounds so bad that I would look for another job. not easy but if you aren't prepared to take any steps to change your current work situation I can't see what else you can do.

Having said that, i do think there's stuff you can do - are you good at your job? if you are then you need to put aside your fear of losing your job (people don't sack people lightly - risk of tribunal and hassle of appointing someone new is much greater than addressing a good employee's issues) Have the confidence to take small, reasonable, assertive, informal steps. If you don't then nothing will change.

work load and planning: You need to say no sometimes. especially re unreasonable demands for ot and weekends. set out some boundaries re when you're prepared to take on "dumped on" type work. people will respect you for it. Delegate? identify (informal) training opportunies for other staff - find someone young, enthusiastic, in need of a challenge and suggest to your boss that you train them to do x or y. don;t get yourself in the situation where you see yourself as the only one (potentially) up to the job.

desk: if you can't identify a solution in the office then can you work from home a bit? (you can work from home when on holiday!) otherwise use less email and walk round the office to talk instead as much as possible. get 10 mins fresh air every now and then.

in general: when pissed off with someone imagine them doubled up with diarohea on the tube. or with their underpants on their head. does wonders.

Lizzzombie · 09/10/2008 15:31

The music issue could always be rectified by damaging your colleagues speakers. Maybe you could make it look like rats, and then they'd have to call the environmental health people in and they may make the company move premises?
In fact, I'd ask the CAB for advice regarding office premises and then grass up your company if they are flaunting guidelines and regulations.

LazyLinePainterJane · 09/10/2008 15:32

It's all well and good to say that small companies shouldn't be allowed to do these things, and that there a grievance procedures that you can go down, and it's not technically legal and all that.....but none of that is any good if it means you are out of a job, regardless of the action you can take, if you are not earning any money.

In your situation, I would be grinning and bearing it, looking for the first thing that matches salary wise to get our of there and consider poisoning them all

hatwoman · 09/10/2008 15:32

cross-posted - I see you;re already looking for another job. good - seems to be the only path to sanity

theSuburbanDryad · 09/10/2008 15:34

Lizzz - MSN, woman. Now.

OP posts:
DaDaDa · 09/10/2008 15:39

I think you need to cut him some slack until he can find a better job UD. Sorry. Otherwise it sounds like he'll explode.

I think you should be looking already though Mr UD. Or she'll explode.

DaDaDa · 09/10/2008 15:39

I think you need to cut him some slack until he can find a better job UD. Sorry. Otherwise it sounds like he'll explode.

I think you should be looking already though Mr UD. Or she'll explode.

theSuburbanDryad · 09/10/2008 15:53

I am 20 weeks pg DaDaDa. Not a court in the land would convict me!

OP posts:
edam · 09/10/2008 16:07

Sounds like a shitty situation and of course looking for a new job is top priority (well, actually, recuperating from surgery is your TOP priority).

Maybe you should keep a diary or blog or summat so you can download all the shite there, rather than wearing out dryad's ears? It's just that this is clearly VERY hard for you but it's also a hell of a weight for her being on the receiving end.

DH and I have both been there, btw, both ways round as well (as in, I had a shitty job and was being horrid, then vice versa). You CAN survive but you need to focus on getting out and looking after yourself, not think 'oh, I can't change anything, I'm stuck'.

edam · 09/10/2008 16:15

Oooh, have found details for a few life coaches including the lady who helped me out (via the phone, she's in Edinburgh). Can you CAT me?

MadamePlatypus · 09/10/2008 16:24

I think you need to change jobs.

My one piece of advise is that its illegal to play music in the workplace without a licence - Performing rights issues.

MadamePlatypus · 09/10/2008 16:25

"advice"

Bramshott · 10/10/2008 13:45

Flowery thinks I gave good advice on an employment issues thread - and she is HR queen!!

flowerybeanbag · 10/10/2008 14:19
Bramshott · 10/10/2008 14:28
Grin
bratnav · 10/10/2008 14:41

My DP is a life coach, would you like his email address?

I am sure he could help (for a small fee), he normally charges £60ph, but I am sure I could ask him to help you for much less if you would like?

CAT me if you are interested.

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