big dilema which way forward to I go - well paid job & probable stress over low paid job & none?

[SpandexIsMyEnemy]

I have the opportunity to go for a second interview with a v v well paid job where I will be running a department on my own. - being out of the game for 2 years it is fantastic to be able to go back in at roughly the same level I left, but better paid. here's the thing. this job they want me to do approx 20 hours p.w at approx £14 p.h (which is why it's fantastic!) on the other hand however from prev exp, this level of responsibility comes with stress.

I know i'd enjoy the challenge but do I really want the additional stress? I'm currently also doing 2 OU courses which requires roughly 16 hours work a week. - this is with the view to when DS is in full time school (ie sept 10 I think) me going to portsmouth uni to do a maths degree - this has alwasy been my intention as I want to teach 11-16 year olds eventually.

The thing is I'm currently borderline for PND. I feel guilty about 'pushing DS out as well'

I'd be looking at doing 2.5 days a week - prob a tues, thurs & fri am. DS would be in nursery/pre school from 9am - 4pm on those 2 days (when my parents would collect him & have him with them for an hour when I got him - on a friday it would be 9-1, unless I can arrange for a family member to have him)

would it also be mean of me to still go to my gym class as a 'release? I currently go 3 mornings a week for an hour a time, so DS has 4 hours in there, i'd give up 2.5 of those, but would it be mean on the weds (which tbh is the class I really love) to put him in there for an hour?

The alternative is to wait & find something in tescos or such likes & do that. and try to get evening shifts & still have DS in the nursery but for say 2 mornings only to catch up on 'missed' study when working.

money wise in my pocket i'd have about an extra £40 p.w from the better paid job. s i'm not sure, not sure at all.

(it's not possible to do my classes in the evenings as I have to study on a sun, mon, weds & fri) plus see beau on a tues, thurs & sat.

at the minute not working things are juggled well, & I have time for DS during the day so studys etc don't bother him, and he has his little bit away from me in the creche.

what to do? I want to work but which way do I go?

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It's tough and only you really know how you'd cope. What I would say though, is this: You only have one life and one chance to be happy. Do you want to look back and thnk you took the easy way out?

I went for a very easy job that I was overqualified for and while it was nice not to have stress I actually felt very, very bored and unfulfilled and in a way that was stressful in itself.

When I got a more highly strung position I much preferred it because I felt as though the hours I spent at work were worth something and I was actually being productive.

Go for the stress - it will soon be easy-peasy...and get paid for your time..

see this is it isn't it - i'd be more fulfilled, doing this job but I worry about spreading myself too thinly.

the ultimate thing is I don't want my working/studys to mean I neglect DS. or that i'm short with him. we'd have 5.5 days together one week (ie sun mon weds fri avo & sat) and then 4 the next week. (ie sun avo, mon, weds, fri till about 4) as XH has him.

what I mean is I don't want to do the better job at DS's expense. iycwim.

(should add when I start the degree in approx 2 years all being well it will be full time uni so i'll stop working again & try for shop/bar work to tick over as it were if I can)

I agree with branflake.

You know you want the challenge. From your post it comes across that you are excited by the thought of getting back to having some responsibilities again.

Being busy in a productive way doesnt necessarily mean being stressed. On the other hand,feeling frustrated and UNDER employed can be incredibly stressful.

Children want to have happy mummies - so if you are feeling good about yourself, chances are your ds will be contented.

If you don't grab this opportunity I suspect you will always hanker afer 'What if....?' so I would go for it!

hmm, I understand what you're all saying, I guess I work better under pressure but don't deal with the stress so well if that makes sense?

was talking it over with mum/beau last night who both said they'd support my desision either way, but both felt I've got enough on my plate already for this job. I think coupled with the fact, I could do the job no probs but I didn't particularly want to go back to it (hence the re training) I think they're thinking of that - I on the other hand am thinking no I don't nec think i'll enjoy it as I say I don't really want to go back to accounts if I can do something else - ie pure payroll - but then again pure payroll = again different stresses with all the deadlines etc.

Look at it another way - would the more stressful job, deadlines etc put you in a better mental state of mind for tackling your degree?

Having done a maths degree, it's tough going (aren't they all?). Perhaps you'd find the jump in 2010 a lot?

Maybe I'm talking rubbish but thought I'd add my tuppence

I think of you are in a low paid job that is easy, it is still stressful IME, even if you don't think your 'over qualified' for it.

Will you enjoy the job that has been offered?
You know you can do the job well, it might give your self esteem the boost it needs to help you cope with the PND.
hope that helps

Don't underestimate the stress of boredom!

I changed jobs after I went back to work the first time - although I did it so that I could work 9-5 rather than the stupid hours that my former job demanded/expected.

I took a £5K pay cut, which was painful, but the hours were better and so I was much more sane. I quite enjoyed the job, but two things happened:

1. if you take responsibility for your job and care about doing a good job, you will still find it stressful

1. being in a boring job that doesn't challenge you can be really stressful and doesn't do much for your self esteem

I think you should go for the more challenging option - and if it doesn't work, then try something else.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

biwi that's what beau was saying last night to do.

I may see if they cut it down further to 18 hours instead of the 20.

I never thought of it tbh with regards to the degree and being able to help me more now iycwim.

all stuff to think about and no clearer to making a choice! lol.

the second interview the chap said was going to be a case of gin over seeing how the system etc works and basically having a morning out there as work exp.

As I was tlaking it out last night my days would be :-

monday - home with DS (group in the avo am, doing something fun together, maybe swimming) night - study.
tues drop DS at nursery at 8.30, work for 9, work till 4.30, get DS from mums at 5, (he'll be there from 4 hopefully) eat tea with them, then home & bed for DS for 7, beau coming down.
weds - gym at 10.30 for an hour, fun activites in the afternoon of sorts. evening study/tutorial.
thurs (as per tues,)
fri drop DS nursery 8.30 work till 1pm, get DS, potter about then either 3.45 get XH from the station & hand DS over/go to mums/beau's for the w.e with study books in tow, or, if XH isn't down, a fun activite with his friends, study in the night,
sat - fun & games! lol. beau in the night.
sunday fun & games & study in the night.

does it not seem pretty full on? DS seemed to really like the nursery yesterday & settled down well/quickly.

sounds do-able

have got back to them now with an hourly rate I have in mind) he's willing to go to £15 for the right person, but i've said i'll be happy with £13-£13.50, (tbh i'll be happy with £10, but hey h and all that jazz of knowing your own worth??!!)

lets wait & see now.

looked at a nice nursery for DS yesterday.