Tiredness - does it ever get better?

[Copper]

I'm a full time civil servant, I'm a mother of three, I'm expected to work at home to complete my workload, I'm the secretary and fair organiser of the PTA, I help in school, I even get an hour to myself a week singing - but I am an absolutley lousy housewife. I look at the mess and go to bed worn out instead of tackling the piles of clean and dirty clothes, the stinking loo, the washing up, the mess, the toys everywhere. I'm ashamed to ask anyone in. My husband and kids don't even see it as a problem. Money is tight and cleaners are expensive. I feel worn out, demoralized - and look upon the Easter holdiay as the time when I can sort it all out, create a happy time for everyone - ha ha ha, I know I'll end up shouting at them. They are all totally impervious to my distress on this, and think I am just a nag.

Moral support needed please!

Hi Star,
Yep it is a dream house. It's enormous, has every room I could ever want or need and a hugh garden. We even bought a sit on lawn mower as the lawn is so big. Can't wait for the good weather so I can try it out. Had to sell my sole to afford the mortgage but I think it will be worth it.

We're on the edge of a small hamlet of houses with an excellent pub 2 minutes crawl away (We've been trying to work out if the baby listener will reach that far!) and with views of fields all round. We should have some neighbours soon as two barns in the next field are being converted. I love it. We lived in a semi before moving here in November and our old neighbours were the noisest people in the world (and did DIY at 7am on a Saturday morning...Grrrr). Old house was on a quite busy road as well and I was always terrified that one of the kids would run out. Now we live on a dead end round so only ever see the odd young couple driving past our drive looking for a private spot to park up!! Loads of work to do on the house though. First thing was to put the central heating in (in November!) and replace all the plumbing and sanitary ware (as it wasn't very sanitary at all). We've had the kitchen replaced (it was down to bear bricks at one point) and some doors and windows and moved a few walls around. Now we're down to just decorating. Can't wait for summer as I think a few warm days will make the horrendous winter we've had there (mainly spent camping in the dining room and going to the local leisure centre for showers) seem all worth while.

We do have friends who think we're completely barmy though but this just makes me even more determined to finish the house and make it look spectacular!

By the way I too have a dyson and actually haven't been that impressed. It seems to break down all the time. Maybe I was just unluck as everyone else seems to rave about them. I always think of it as a thorough bred race horse....Works brilliantly when it's going well but needs to be treated tenderly.

Off to purchase a Dyson first thing Saturday morning!

Jac, I put lavender oil in the filter of my tumble drier which gives my sheets a very faint lavendery smell - it doesnt seem to last more than one dry so husbands stuff doesnt get 'tainted' with it! Also, you can buy, or make, a mildly scented lavender linen spray that you can spritz over your washing when it is dry...no apologies for the sadness of this message, I'm afraid I love all that kind of thing...

I think my childminder must have a Dyson because everytime we see one my little boy points at it and says my childminders name!

Are they difficult to clean out? I tend to vacuum up a lot of spiders and other unpleasant things and so quite like just taking the bag out of our vacuum and dumping it in the dustbin. Not sure how I'd feel seeing a huge spider whizzing around the 'dual cyclone'!

Are you lot tempted to buy his new washing machine too?

Jac, I used to have a combined washer/drier and noticed that smell too, it doesn't happen in a separate drier, also the drums are bigger, so dry much quicker than the combined ones.

Batters, check the filters on your new Dyson, when we bought a new one I thought it had broken after a couple of days and took it back,all that was wrong was the filters were completely clogged from where our old hoover was so useless

Buy a Dyson, but, when you first use it brace yourself for the amount of dirt etc that will emerge into the cylinder!, I was mortified, now though I love it!.

You've just convinced me to buy a Dyson, I've been mulling it over for ages. I really miss my hoover.

Jac, have you got a Sainsbury's nearby, try their 2 in 1 Novon tablets, I've got a washer dryer (Hoover), and as long as you don't leave the stuff in for too long, you still get a nice fresh smell (mountain fresh they call it). I've been experimenting with various tablets/powders as I've only had the machine since December, so I'm gradually getting used to which tablets will dissolve and which ones won't.

Has anyone tried letting their partners read this page, they might get the message, or maybe not!! There might be some interesting remarks appearing if they read it.

Hello everyone, thanks for the laundry advice!

Ailsa, I use novon non biological tablets, not sure if this is the same, but I find the same problem that they either don't dissolve properly or get left in the seal around the door with soggy socks! I'm thinking of trying the new arial liquid tablet things, surely they will 'melt'.

It's usually towels I tumble dry as they come out really soft compared to radiator or airer drying but they smell horrible.

Caznay, I'll try the lavendar oil (is it the same as burner oil, I get confused with aromatherapy and burner oils?!) Also I found a spray in the cupboard that was a freebie, comfort refresh, better than that fabreeze stuff but still not 'right'. I know I'm really fussy on this kind of thing.

Right, I'm going, shouldn't be talking about this kind of thing at this time of night!

I've just looked on the box, these are biological, but, we don't seem to itch with these like we have with other bio's, they've managed to build in a fabric conditioner.

So far, only Novon 2 in 1 and Ariel Essential will dissolve when used in the drawer. Tescos (all of them) won't dissolve properly whether they're used in the drawer or in the drum.

I just read all this and here is what helps for me.
Occasionally I go on a chucking out frenzy. I do it behind the kids' backs and I do it for me; to indulge my atavistic urge for - something or other. This means no saving things for charity or for recycling. I just chucked 3 packs of nasty wipes I've been keeping for ages. I just chucked a working yo-yo, 5 Kinder egg toys and several dozen working felt pens. Outraged? Sorry - this is a purely selfish delinquent activity - so satisfying, it puts me in such a good mood. 5 black bags to go to the dump (don't know where it is? Find it! It's great fun to visit - honest).
The aim is not to get a tidy house - that won't happen. The aim is to chuck as many objects as possible for the satisfaction of your own fury and frustration.
By the way , my 3 year old cottoned on after half an hour and followed me round crying for the last 10 minutes, trying to snatch old bits of plastic out of the bag. But once they were out, he forgot about them and has just had a great play with all the toys I rediscovered on my rampage.
Also - use an agency to clean. It by-passes the guilt you get with a one-to-one cleaner. Get an agency and ask them to add in an extra half hour for picking up (ie pay them explicitly and let them find cleaners who don't mind doing it). Best of all is if they don't even have a regular day so you don't know when they're coming! Expensive - but basically your husband is paying someone for doing the tidying up behind himself which he always had to do when he was single. You almost certainly do several hours of it already per week.

Maybe there should be a household appliances thread. I'm about to get a combined washer/dryer (tiny flat, no drying space, baby on the way) Can anyone recommend one...especially one of the new ones with a condensor as it will be pretty hard to vent it outside.

Slug, as far as I'm aware all washer/dryers do not need one of those vent things. I had one and they are not terribly efficient at drying. They are also expensive to buy and fix. With the one that I had, you could only put a really small load into the dryer, and even then it took ages to dry.

I had a Creda washer/dryer when I lived in my flat - it was fantasic. The only thing you had to remember was to take out the bag/ball that the washing tablets had been in. We had ours 7 years and only needed to repair it once - the heater went (cost about £70 to repair I think). My repairman said Creda's were very good and 'lasted forever'. Just as well, because we really used and abused it. We frequently dried full loads of washing. Towels would take about an hour or so. Didn't find it hideously expensive to run. (We left it as a bargaining tool when we moved.)

You didn't need to vent it outside either.

If you cant get a washer dryer you are happy with would you have space for one of the tiny tumble dryers? They are half the size and you can run a flexi vent hose out of a window - not ideal but they are cheap, work well and beat having wet washing about.

Allie, I have the same atavistic urges! It was decided by my friends that I have a strange form of PMT - some women get grumpy, I have to clean, tidy and sort out on a regular basis. Things get chucked, boxed or cleaned with a zealousness that is embarrasing, a day or two before I come on I can usually be found doing something daft like scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees to give it a "proper clean", usually late at night. Any other time a wizz over with a mop will do.
I wish I could say I have a spotless tidy home but these attacks never spread to the entire house, just the odd area here and there.