Has anyone stolen nanny from nursery?

[clucks]

I am considering this, as one or two of the girls are v.good. The rest forgettable. The only thing is, first I won't need one for a few months and will leave nursery soon, so won't be in contact when I want to recruit. Should I sow the seeds now?

Secondly, I suspect they like working in nursery for the greater interaction/variety. I know I wouldn't like to be a nanny for a family, especially one as dysfunctional as mine

Anyway, I know one of the better ones was touting herself recently and has been snapped up but I didn't get to hear as I'm not in with the gossipy parents really.

Has anyone done this and succeeded, or should I just go to an agency as and when.

Some nurseries have sonething in their contracts about nannies leaving to work for families who are clients and either you or the nanny could end up with a bill, so check carefully. I know that Busy Bees do, if a nanny leaves she cannot work for a fqamily from the nursery for three months or the family is liable for 3 months salary, not sure of the exact figure but along those lines

Clucks - if you poached any of the staff at my boys' nursery I would be rather peeved! Are you sure you wouldn't be risking life and limb from outraged fellow parents if you pursued this policy?

In the nursery my kids use to go .... staff regularely left for nanny jobs... This was an Asquith court nursery. Basically they were very poorly paid...
Some staff are also registered with nanny agencies so you might poach them that way anyway...
A friend (who does go on Mumsnet so she may recognise herself) was approached by a member of staff (not the other way around) when the employee found out mum was looking for a nanny.

Was going to do this but was also looking through an agency at the time and so paid about £15 for the agency to screen my potential nanny. Found out that a lot of basic knowledge (for sole charge) was missing (surprisingly so, but, I think, an honest appraisal) and so went with an experienced nanny in the end. Had a 6-month old (and a 3yo) at the time so may have considered it if the children were a bit older, or I was going to be around a bit more. Certainly the ex-nursery person was expecting a lot less money. Depends on your circumstances, I suppose. Had the worst experience ever (police and social services involved) with the experienced one I went for in the end and so perhaps I made the wrong decision -but there is never any guarantee.

I also think it's not on to poach..I've been involved in the recruitment process at my nursery and it takes a lot of time, energy & money to get the right people in place. If they're not happy there in the first place they'll approach people/agencies themselves.

I have to agree that poaching a nanny from nursery is not really on, especially if she is a good and long time member of staff. If you already know someone wants to go, then it's a different story.

Assumimng she is a regular, she will have built up a bond with all those other toddlers in her care. According to current parent lore I have read, bonding with primary carers is really important for developing self esteem in children. OK, she is not a parent so not the children's main carer, but if she is around for a good part of their nursery lives, she will be an important figure to them.

Sorry if this comes across as too preachy. Only you know the nursery situation, clucks, and if the staff turnover is very high than there is less argument against poaching IMO.

However, there seems to be a glut of available nannies if newspaper reports are anything to go on, so if you go to a nanny agency, you should get a good response and no upset nursery parents. to contend with.

I'd also agree that it was a bit below the belt to poach from a nursery, even if you are planning on taking your child out. As others have said, if they're actively job-seeking, good nannies and nursery nurses can be found at agencies.

Sorry, but I also don't think it's on - not fair on the other kiddies at the nursery. How would you feel if another mum did this and left your children without the best carers? I'd be really upset and cross if this happened at DD's nursery.

Unfortunately, one of the reasons he will be leaving is because of the change in staff ratios/quality etc. I haven't in fact approached anyone and I suspect the one that he bonds best with wouldn't be available anyway.

I know that one of the senior ones has offered herself to parents as she wanted to leave. I believe they are very well paid, I would hope so, considering the high fees we are charged and I wouldn't really be poaching as such. They still if they're happy, they leave if not.

I know that standards at the place have dropped recently and other parents been complaining to DH (main pickerupper/dropper offer). I really wouldn't want other children to suffer, I know mine has through the change in staff. The main reason he will be leaving.

I'm just so bad at choosing nannies, on the one occasion I tried anyway, it was disastrous. So, bit stuck really. Someone suggested taking on a mother's help to begin with while I'm on mat leave and perhaps they could then become sole charge nanny as I return to work.

Will see how things go in the next few weeks and if there really is a glut of nannies then I could take my time and look elsewhere. Meantime, I will take onboard all your comments, thanks.

Ah while on. First excuse the appalling grammar. Secondly, of those who have used an agency, has anyone been particularly pleased or unhappy. I wouldn't mind paying their fees if the service is well worthwhile.

Clucks

Why don't you ask the supervisor at your nursery if your can put a sign on the noticeboard asking other parents if they are know of any nannies who are looking for work? A friend of mine's dd2 recently started nursery and she therefore felt she had to relinquish her full time nanny. She put a message on our nursery noticeboard and managed to find another parent to share her nanny with.

At least that way the you'd know if this nanny was looking for another job and the onus would be on her, rather than you. But I do agree with the others that you might end up with your head on the chopping board if you approached her direct! Good luck in your search.

I too would be wary of poaching. Aside from the moral issue, I would also be concerned as to whether someone who was happy working in a Nursery would be necessarily happy / suited to being a Nanny. They are very different jobs and it really is important to find someone who is flexible and who fits in well with your household (and I speak as someone who failed miserably on both counts in terms of my own Nanny recruitment). The domestic side of things for a Nanny in terms of chores is especially different. Are you sure she would like to cook childrens' meals and would be happy to wash clothes and tidy bedrooms etc?

Personally I also think it is easier to maintain a professional relationship with someone whom you haven't previously known.

Bells

I think you have given good advice. We are probably over-pally with the nursery staff in many respects for a fresh start at home.

I am a bad nanny recruiter, on the single occasion I tried, which is why I wonder about using an agency or perhaps starting a new thread here for advice. Would it be OK for you to give me some pointers as to why it didn't work out. Thanks

Clucks, I am in a position to give advice based purely on my own mistakes. I'm not sure what went wrong for you last time. We have had our Nanny for 3 1/2 years. The upside has been that she has looked after our 2 children very well and has been fantastically reliable. The downside is that she is unapproachable, inflexible and values things like hygiene, order and cleanliness above the things that we value (such as spontaneity and fun).

Anyway, here goes as to what I think are important pointers should I ever need to hire another one:

• Be crystal clear about the rules from the outset, preferably in writing. This should cover everything from the type of food you expect her to give your children, policy on sweets, activities, discipline to what happens if she crashes the car in her own time

Be equally clear about their duties. Assuming she will clear up after herself but say, if she has other children around to play, will you be expected to come in from work and wash down muddy kitchen floors?

Also, things like will she do her own food shopping or help herself to whatever you have around?

Suss out as much as possible her approach to dealing with tantrums, leaving babies to cry etc. Does it ally with your own?

Hire someone you feel comfortable with and who you feel is mature enough not to go into a major sulk if they think they are being criticised. It is terrible when you see doing something with your child that you're not happy about but you feel too wimpy to say anything about it.

Be honest with them regarding their hours. If hours can occasionally change, make it absolutely clear that they will need to be flexible

Maintain a professional but distant relationship. Don't get too pally as it then makes any criticism seem too personal

Remember to give positive feedback when you think they are doing a good job

Respect the fact that they are a professional just doing a job and that they have a life of their own.

I can't stress enough as to how important it is to state everything at the outset. First of all, she then knows exactly what the job entails but most importantly, it is SO much easier to reel off rules to somebody at that stage rather than someone who has effectively been a member of your household for many months.

Good luck!