Very weepy, Utterly heartbroken. Anyone struggling going back to work...thoughts please.

[Mamabea]

DD2 is 6 months and I start back in 2 weeks. Whenever I contemplate, talk about leaving DC's I utterly break down.

DD1 has been a different girl since I've been at home- relaxed, dropping some of previous challenging behaviour. DD2 clingy, get some much from being with eachother.

We can't manage without my salary. I need to earn to pay mortgage. I'm breadwinner.

I went back when DD1 was 6 months- full time and never got used to it. Went to work everyday feeling like I was leaving the best part of me at home.

I have a good &rewarding job but I have loved being at home-if I had a choice would be here for them.

Anyone else felt this way and how have you coped or adapted your circumstance.

You wee darling.
I relate so much

The only thing I can say is a cliche.

When I did go back to work it was ok. No really, it was good.

It will probably be the same for you.
BIG HUG!

Mamabea, My lad is about to be 4 and he has been in nursery since he was 9 months.I work part time three days a week To tell the truth He does 2 half days one full day and My mum does 2 afternoons. It has worked out really well. he is a happy lad who will eat almost anything as so many different people cook for him. Happy to stay with a friend, if I have to work extra. Has lots and lots of friends to play with. Most Mum's help each other out (if you don't get on with some mums, just leave it, many more friends) his social life is better than mine.Two parties this weekend. On days off we cuddle for 1 hour in bed, me telling stories, tickles and fun. Find ways to make it work and lots of cuddles.

Big sympathy, this happened to me. I was all up for going back to work and I went back last week for ONE DAY! I hated it! I love my job, we need the money but I can't stomach going back and leaving my DD. Yeah, I'm a wimp. And struggling to find childcare, that's the other aspect. So, I've decided to have a career that lets me work from home. I struggled to let work know what I wanted, but it was fine.

Good luck, haven't really got any advice for you but just to let you know I'm another one in the same boat.

Hi Mamabea -
How've the last few weeks been?
I start soon. Thinking the same as you were!

oh my god, you have all summarised the feelings i have been feeling for months, all my mates have just been able to go back to work likes its normal and i cant think of anything worse. i have never left my baby and shes 12 months. we are beginning to get desparate. so we are emigrating. drastic and maybe stupid but it buys me the extra time i feel i need. didnt know what else to do....

I have just found Mumsnet and am so pleased. I went back to work when my dd was five months old (she is now nearly eleven months old) and have struggled so much with leaving her and hating my job that I have resigned and do not have another job. Really stressful as we need my money but felt so depressed working at a horrid job and leaving her that I have now decided to take a short break and find a job that I enjoy and fits around my family. I so wish that I knew how hard it would be as I would have taken it slower. I thought I was super mum, I am so not!!! My advice would be to leave it as long as you can before going back and then to start really slow and build it up when you feel ready.