Flowerybeanbag and other HR people, some advice needed pretty please!

[LittleMyDancing]

So this particular bridge hasn't actually materialised yet, but I really want to know what to do if it does.

Context - after DS was born, I was made redundant so had to find a new job. Found a one year maternity cover contract which ended in March. While doing this contract (all went very well, they were talking about keeping me etc etc) I got pregnant and the baby was due in June - so the plan was to finish contract and have a couple of months off before DC2 arrived.

Unfortunately we lost the baby at 20 weeks, work were great, very supportive etc, so then finished the contract and found myself out of work (they didn't get the budget they were hoping for to keep me on).

Have been looking ever since - now the same place have got a job going, another one year contract, and I've applied for it. Hoping to hear about an interview this week. The thing is, there's a very slim chance I could be pg again, and if I was, obviously I wouldn't be able to finish this contract if they offered it to me.

So when do I tell them, if I am? At the first interview? After I start the job, if they offer it to me? I don't want to piss them off by not telling them, as I definitely won't be able to complete the contract. But then again, I don't want to put them in the position of worrying that I might shout discrimination if they don't give it to me after I tell them.

Dilemma, please help! What would an employer look favourably upon?

You're right, that's exactly how I feel - I want to be fair to them as they have been very fair and nice to me.

And what you all say makes perfect sense!

I might not even get it, anyhow. Fingers crossed.

Oh Littlemy - your name change has made me cry and I can't do that on an employment thread!

No, no tears in this hard business like world!

Do a little dance instead, it's really fun.

i think there is a reality check here - they might find a reason not to give you the contract if they know you can't do it, but they certainly aren't going to give you a medal, or a perm post after your mat leave, if you behave disingenuously.

Realistically, how much of hte contract are you going to be able to do? Honestly, even though I am working mum, I would be unimpressed by this.

would you be better off to be really honest with them now, and hope it stands your reputation in good stead for when you want to return to the job market?

Well, I thought that too smitten, but then if they're not allowed by law to turn me down because of pregnancy, isn't it better not to tell them? Otherwise they risk behaving in a discriminatory fashion.

Besides, don't pregnant women have a right to work and feed their children? It's all very well if you have a job to go back to after maternity leave, but I didn't, through no fault of my own.

Can I ask what sort of work you do, smitten?

So job interview was this morning - I think it went ok, but I think they're really looking for someone full time - they did say they would welcome flexible working requests, but it seems in reality they mean 4 days a week minimum, and I'd prefer 3 days.

so we'll see - if they interview someone who is the same as me in terms of skills and experience, but will work full time, I suspect they'll give it to them.

they also said they might not bother with second interviews if they find the right person.

The thing is, if they ring up and offer it to me, even if I tell them about the baby then, they can't withdraw the offer, can they?

So if they don't do a second interview then it's kind of too late to tell them, anyway...

Glad it went well, and fingers crossed!

They can't withdraw the offer because you tell them you are pregnant because that would be discrimination, and extremely daft of them as well.

I'd still be inclined to leave it a bit longer until you tell them. They might feel a bit peeved, but will feel less peeved if you are there already and doing a fantastic job. If you tell them before you've even got there and they've got other candidates they could have offered it to, they'll be more fed up about it I think.

That's good advice - I'm not convinced they're going to offer it to me, tbh, but I guess it depends on the competition. No idea how many other people applied.

Had to wedge myself into my interview clothes though - haven't lost the baby weight from last time! Such a relief to undo my top button on the bus.....

Hello! me again with some more questions.....so that job have been dithering around and still haven't let me know, but am now applying for something else and had a question.

Is it ever acceptable to 'cover up' the fact that you have children on a CV? My maternity leave with DS is obvious as I was made redundant when he was born, and then didn't work for a year, so I have to account for that year on my CV somehow. I've been putting maternity leave down but have really noticed that I'm not getting any interviews at the moment, even for stuff I'm totally qualified and experienced for.

So I wondered whether it's because it's obvious that I have a 2yo child, and whether if I put 'career break' instead I might at least get an interview? Then when they asked me about it obviously I'd say it was maternity leave, but hopefully by then I would have impressed the hell out of them?

but is that lying, or just a cunning form of words?

advice most gratefully received!

bump before bed

I dont mention my children on my CV. I dont see it as lying, I just dont see what that has to do with my job.
No-one has ever mentioned it (I have interviewed in front of people who knew I had kids, but they didnt ask why it wasnt on my CV)

the thing is, to not mention DS means telling a small lie about what I was doing for a year.

So is 'career break' an interchangeable term for 'maternity leave'? or would it be lying to call it a career break?

Do you think it looks any worse to put that you have a child? If you have to account for the time off work then at least maternity leave is always a constructive use of time, where "career break" could mean anything - it could mean you spenat all year in bed!

this is true - but I'm really starting to wonder what is the problem with my applications. I've always written good applications, without wanting to sound smug, and even for jobs where I tick all the boxes, I'm just not getting interviews at the moment.

So I'm wondering if it's the fact that I have a 2yo child, which people think is a high risk for having another one soon?

I really don't want to be paranoid, but it's starting to be a bit odd.

Unless you are saying that you did something constructive and wonderful with this 'career break', there's no point. If I just saw 'career break' with nothing else I'd probably assume it was for maternity leave or something similar anyway. Even if they don't assume that looking at your application, you'd certainly be asked about it in an interview.

Thanks, ms beanbag, sound advice as ever, and tigger too. I guess I was hoping it might just help me get the interview rather than be booted into the No pile straight away due to having children etc.

But maybe I'm just being paranoid about why I'm not getting interviews at the moment - maybe I just need to write better applications!

I wouldn't mention kids on your CV.

If you're asked about gaps, I would think redundancy because of funding problems for jobs, in the area you work in where this is a common difficulty, is probably best explained honestly. Possibly including that you needed to take time off. No point lying, but there's also no point telling them things which aren't about your skills and experience for a specific job, before you even have an interview.

Perhaps you should get advice on the CV and positives on there.

Good luck with the pregnancy.