7 month old is going to nursery next week - any tips to make it easier on him (and me)?

[anonymxxx]

I will be returning to work and DS (7.5 months) is starting to go to nursery on Monday. We are planning to have him there for 4h at the beginning and then go up from there. He has been at nursery together with my mom last week, knows something is going on and has been super-clingy all the time. He also rejects to go to sleep and screems a lot and we believe he is scared I am not there any more when he wakes up. Any tips to make it easier for him and me? How long does it take until he will have gotten used to the changed circumstances?

Oh poor you. This is so stressful..but kids really do adapt much more quickly than you can imagine.

We took dd to nursery at 2 and she was a little clingy sometimes, but the staff always made me leave the room soon after we'd arrived. Once I disappeared madam made no sign of being in distress and I was completely forgotten. On my return, cue the tears again. All a performance for my benefit!!

With your ds it might be different because he's younger. DD was left at 14 weeks, so really didn't know much else, which may have helped.

Presumably you've picked out the nursery because you feel they'll suit your parenting needs. This will probably involve a lot of cuddling for your boy and lots of attention. The good nurseries are very adept at dealing with distress and it hopefully won't take long for things to settle.

I don't think anything will make it easier on you. Your son will adapt quite quickly, in all likelihood. Picture him happy once you've gone from the nursery door and you'll be less stressed about things. And he'll probably be o.k. when you're gone too.

Ring the nursery as much as you need to whilst you're going through the adjustment. Don't think of yourself as being a pest (couldn't spell nusciance). You're a paying customer and they should cut you lots of slack/support you through this transition. Make sure they report any problems from the get go and see how you go from there.

Good luck. With support from the nursery and your partner, you'll hopefully look back at this and think 'what was I worried about!'. xx

Hi squilly! Thanks so much for your kind and sensitive response. It makes me feel much better. It sounds it as worked well for you!

Thanks amonymxxx. It worked out fabulously for me. DD loved nursery and subsequently coped well with the transition from nursery to school too. I really think it helps kids develop quickly and become quite independent.

Kids cope with whatever care we decide to provide them with. They prosper almost regardless of their environment, as long as you provide one thing. Love...and lots of it.

You are clearly a very loving mum or you wouldn't be worried about the nursery situation. That means your son is a winner no matter what happens. And your love for him will give him all the strength he needs to deal with nursery/school/life in general.

Good luck going back to work..

Hi Squilly. The first day has been very difficult. He cried a lot after we left and the nursery called and asked if we could come back, which we certainly did. So we have been in and out all day. Luckily, we are very flexible with our ours and not far from nursery.
I do believe that this is the right decision for us as a family and I think he will enjoy playing with the other children and prosper in general, but the transition is really not easy. Good to hear that it made the transition to school easier and fostered independence. All the best.

Hi there

Sorry to hear it's been a rough first day for you. The nursery sound top notch, calling you like that and keeping you in touch. It may take a while, but fingers crossed he settles in soon and you all start to feel better about things.

Take care.

Does he have a comfort object? If he doesn't already have one, maybe a jumper of yours, or a blanket which smells of you (sleep on it)? Even his car seat to sleep in if need be? Both my DC needed their "snuggles" with them at that age at nursery (DS started at 4mths, DD at 6.5mths).

Both grew up to love going to nursery and love coming home, which to me says that we have the balance more or less right. Don't worry, you'll get there.

I have recently sent ds (1yo) to a childminder. I think it helped him that I was really upbeat and happy when I picked him up and dropped him off and didn't look worried. Also when i pick him up we get home and play and have cuddles for a bit. Maybe he's picking up on your worry, which is causing him to worry! Good luck!