Working mum feeling depressed and guilty.....anyone else??! (sorry bit of a rant and ramble)

[Booboomum]

Feeling really down today and would really appreciate any thoughts. Went back to work when both my children were a year old. I do enjoy my job and finacially we had no choice so I just accepted that I would work and felt lucky to have had a year with them.I work 4 days a week. Also DH and I have always tried to share all aspects of childcare so if I work, he doesn't have to work as much if that makes sense.My children have been in a fab nursery they loved and it has worked well.
Anyhow now ds is about to start school and suddenly it is really complicated. I teach and so my working times are not flexible. This means I will have to have a childminder to drop him off and pick him up from school. I feel really sad about this and worry I am letting him down. I constantly feel guilty that I work - not helped from a lot of snide comments from "proper" stay at home mums (my "friends"!!) who clearly think I am wrong to work and also from women at work who feel I should not be there as obviously my priority is the children so I can't always stay late/do extra stuff etc . I feel I constantly have to justify the fact that I work. Plus am knackered from doing the job and having two little children.MOAN!SORRY! I firmly believe women should have the choice to work/not to work and would never criticise someone for staying at home - does anyone esle feel caught in a constant round of guilt? Is that just being a mum?!

I was a part time teacher until fairly recently. Do what I did - Get pregnant and take another year off!
Seriously though, I fully appreciate that sense of guilt. I am very envious of "friends" who are able to SAH, but it doesn't get the mortgage paid does it?!
And everybody (non-teachers) thinks that we only work 9 - 3.30 so we're part timers anyway. The inflexible hours are a nightmare.
Guilt is a mum thing. Just be sure you are able to make some time for yourself - GUILT FREE!

Everyone else has an opinion about what you should do - but if you and your DH are happy with your arrangements, thats all thats important. I refuse to feel guilt about our family work arrangements, despite what others try to make me feel !

My mum taught full time from when I started school (and did supply before then - I was even parked in my pram in the corner of the classroom), and when I was an infant, I played in the hall before and after school, then when I went to junior school I took myself in the morning and went to an elderly neighbour after. Didn't do me an harm at all, and I treasured the holidays with her.

I work three days a week and any guilt I carry is brought about by me solo! - I don't listen to ANYBODY else because it's feck all to do with them.
I'm not slamming all SAHMs by any means, but I'm just saying that any of the ones I know often look for 'breaks' away from their kids. Whereas I don't need that break because I get it while I work.
So what's the difference there??: working or getting a day's shopping/pampering/whatever away from the kids? Personally I prefer to earn some money and use my brain/skills while getting a break.
In short, don't listen to those who are berating you. They're far from perfect, I'm sure. There again, what's perfect???!

Seems to me that guilt is a big part of motherhood!
I'm not working but studying for a degree. I'm lucky in that it is pretty flexible and DS only goes to Nursery two days a week. However, have had days that I've wept after dropping him off - I feel guilty that I'm doing something I enjoy. Whilst it will hopefully lead to better prospects for us eventually it's not exactly paying the mortgage at the moment.
I just don't think you can win (ie be free from criticism/doubt) what ever you do. Your arrangements sound pretty good to me. At least you have long holidays that you can spend with your DCs. Are your 'friends' planning to stay at home until their children leave school? I didn't think anyone could afford to do that these days!

am feeling guilty today because i went to work even tho ds had a temperature (teething, so nothing much wrong with him, but he was a bit clingy this morning).
then i felt guilty because i left work early wth piles of work undone that i could get home and see if he was allright.
i am now feeling guilty because the dog is lying on my feet SIGHING very loudly to indicate that he has not been walked today. i am feeling guilty even though that is dh's job and he is not feeling guilty about it.
i feel guilty that i have forgotten to ring my best friend for two weeks and find out whether the bloke she was on tenterhooks over had rung or not.
i feel guilty because dh is desperate for some attention and i am MNing. tomorrow i will be feeling guilty as the cleaner's coming and yet again the house is such a tip she'll barely be able to get the hoover across the floor.
we're guilty whatever we do - if you were SAHing you'd probably feel guilty about forcing your dh to take on the solo breadwinner role/what you couldn't provide for dcs/whether you were giving them a role model of what women are capable of/whether you were losing your temper with them, when you got bored at home and that's no criticism of SAHs either before i get shouted at.
sounds to me like you have a pretty good balance and should be congratulated on it.

Childcare does become much much harder to organise with two kids once one starts school.. you need to find a childminder that can have a younger one plus do the particual school run you need, on the days you need it. You alos need to make sure your school child likes the childminder or they'll soon tell you about it.. it is fraught with tension and stress and a total headache.. after a few childminder attempts that did not work for various reasons, in the end I have opted for nursery for younger one/ childminder for older one combo. I work 4 days a week as does my partner and my mum hs them one day a week and so we only need childcare on two days. This combo is logistically simpler (although the children are not together which is a shame) and does involve two pick up/ drop off's which me and my partner share. It is exhausting and you are guilt ridden.. there is no solution to this IMO.

Guilt often goes with the territory I think. Not sure how to tackle it. Maybe just accept it as a part of life and do what you have to do.

Just to put things in context, I had a long conversation about guilt with a mother who has four childen (two under five). She doesn't work and she says she feels guilty for NOT working. Some things no woman can escape.