Anyone else job hop?

[Bramble26]

Years ago I had a job I loved, with colleagues I loved. I would have happily stayed in it longer, except we had a toxic, psycho manager and I eventually became the next target who was subjected to bullying and harassment.

Since then I’ve been through 11 different jobs. I feel like such a failure that I can’t find anything to stick with longer than 2 years. To be fair some of them have been awful, and some of them were only temporary. Some have been an ok job, but the working environment has been bad. Some I had to work alone a lot and was very isolated.

I started a new job 6 weeks ago (been there for 9 months before this) and it is not what I was led to believe it would be. I’m really struggling mentally with it, but don’t want to ‘fail’ again, and the thought of applying for another job and starting over getting to know colleagues etc is so daunting, but I can’t carry on like this.

Anyone else struggle to find an ‘ideal’ job and stick with it?

I think it’s becoming quite normal now and for a vast array of reasons. I know I’ve had more than a few jobs over the years, either because we moved (DH job), or family care requirements, or career progression or once complete change of career.
It’s not a failure to admit a job isn’t working for you/right fit/what you expected. Find something else. At the end of the day, an employer will divest themselves of an employee very quickly if necessary.
The days of having the same job between leaving school and being retired went decades ago.

edit to add : also what you need and want from a job will (inevitably) change as you move through your life. Good luck.

Your story sounds very similar to what happened to me.
I loved my job.I absolutely loved it. I lived and breathed it. Until I was "bullied out". The timing couldn't have been worse. I was menopausal and the insomnia and anxiety due to the bullying and menopause clashed big time. Looking back now, 2 years, I think I had a full mental breakdown. I left work one day and sat on the railings of a motorway Bridge. I dont recall thinking to do that. I dont recall driving there but found myself there absolute horrified. I took 2 months sick. Went on HRT and anti depressants. I returned to work byt the situation despite complaints to HR became a stupid game of He said /she said. In the end I just left whilst I was off sick for stress related issue.
Ive had 4 jobs since then. I feel embarrassed and a loser. I cant seem to tolerate work place drama, politics and bullshit anymore. My self esteem and confidence is pretty low.

Every workplace ive been, ive seen the "types", all of them have some issues and although no drama was aimed at me in these 4 roles, ive watched certain behaviours towards others and wonder why there are so many nasty fuckers out there.

Last month I went self employed offering small businesses admin support. I mostly work from home except 2 mornings a week where I cover a reception. Its not ground breaking but I dont have to deal with too much corporate bullshit and egotistical dickheads. Ive had to cut my cloth but I try to see it as starting over and trying to rebuild myself, but deep down i feel very sad I had to quit an industry and job I adored, and feel lost and like Im clutching at straws.
Its also very embarrassing when I see people ive not seen for X months and they say, "how are you getting on working at xyz?", and I have to say ive changed jobs again.

I’m sorry to hear this. One ex friend of mine once said, in an exasperated tone, “well what DO you want from a job, because no job ever seems right for you.” I felt like shit and bad for moaning about jobs / bosses / colleagues etc, but I’m honest and I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I’ve got so many years of admin skills and done such a wide variety of tasks, I’m competent at lots of things, but not a master of any of them. I can raise invoices and reconcile payments, but have never specifically been a Finance Administrator.

I can design and schedule social media posts, but I’ve never been a Social Media Markerter. I can declutter, clean, organise and decorate spaces and make work areas nicer places to be.

I get fed up easily, I can’t tolerate people who are massively disorganised and constantly make you wait weeks after a promised deadline for things. As soon as anyone behaves even slightly like my toxic ex boss I go into flight mode.

However, I have nice colleagues and good friends where I currently am. I’m nearly 50 and filled with dread at starting again finding my feet in a new job and getting to know a whole new bunch of people. It takes time to suss who your trusted support network is in the workplace, who has your back and who would throw you under the bus.

Thank you. This makes me feel a bit better.

I do think it’s becoming more common these days. I was in my first job for 15 years and then my next role for 4 years before I left because of an extremely toxic work environment. I’m 9 months into a job now and getting itchy feet as I’m bored and the job isn’t really what it seemed. But it also seems increasingly normal for people I know to - willingly - be on FTC and move around a lot. There’s still a part of me that feels like I need to stick it out for 2 years+ but I’m plotting my exit route.

It’s hard when you apply for anything else that requires you to list every job you’ve had since school and explain any gaps in employment. My CV is getting rather long!

I get itchy feet, the novelty wears off really fast and I quickly see jobs and bosses for what they really are. I wouldn’t want to be at home full time either, I need both the money and social aspect of working,

@Bramble26 I no longer list every job, just make sure the last five years is accurate for checking (unless you are applying for mi6). The rest can be just made applicable to the job you are applying for.
Not everyone needs to know you did a summer fruit picking etc to pay a bill.

Applying for jobs is such a lengthy process these days. They want your CV, a cover letter AND to fill out their application form basically repeating your CV and stating why / how you’d be suited to the role. In education they want to know everything, and any gaps need explaining.

That’s why you stretch what needs to be stretched - unless it’s lengthy gaps for child care years/parental care giving.
yes have and do work in elderly care and education. As I said, just make it truthful for the last five years that they will actually check.
no cares what you did 40 years ago to the day, hour and minute.

I have had 7 jobs in 10 years because that’s the only way to keep moving nowadays. Nobody ever gets promoted so you have to move to get more money or responsibility in my experience. I wasn’t unusual in my workplace and my husband did similar. Companies don’t care about keeping their employees and treat them as replaceable so we don’t have loyalty.

Nothing that far back should even be on your Cv unless specifically relevant… the last 10 years or 5 or 6 positions is sufficient.

Unfortunately as op has already written, in education and care industries you are expected to account for all your years between leaving full time education and the present day. They don’t however religiously check beyond the last five years that every date is correct. So whilst not on your cv when you apply, you will be expected to provide the bare basics of what you were doing eg stay at home mum child rearing. They will even ask for small gaps of a couple of weeks eg holidays between jobs. Not for references, but to explain what you were doing with your time. - as to why and what it proves when nothing but the most recent three/ four employment references are checked is anyone’s guess. Just the way it is.

Sorry if this is too personal but are you ND?
My SIL has not only job hopped since I've known her but also changed careers several times in the hope of finding the right fit. Strangely, one of her jobs is the same as mine and we worked in the exact same department- but 3yrs after me. I have life long friends from that team but she hated it. As a child she was told she had ADHD but now says she is high functioning autistic. I've always assumed that is why she job hops and never feels settled. I hope you find something that suits OP x

I job hop. I'm looking for more money or get fed up with politics etc.
No shame in it. We work for money and if you like progression but are not recognised why not look elsewhere?
Likewise it employers are being awful it's time to move on.

I see my apologies.

Im the bloody same!! Feeling really down and of course I've examined if its me, but I don't think it is. Ive been working in a sector where there is no money so the job roles are really stretched and nothing really works properly. So many toxic bosses and jobs not as described. You just can't tell what you're walking into, coupled with the fact there's not much out there, and I just can't tolerate all the bs, bullying and toxicity. Im really sensitive to it all. I guess I could work on that, but struggling in perimenopause generally with stress and lack of sleep. Also at this age I've had so much shit thrown at me in my personal life that I just want work to be stable and pleasant. Ive moved to a different part of the country and worked around the changing needs of a family. I just see employers getting suspicious of me. Plus, i dont know where to go next. I feel like I keep stitching myself up! But also have ND question mark.

As an employer, that level of job hopping would be a major reg flag to me - will this person leave within a year, is it worth employing and investing in them?

We know.

My work history is like yours OP.

I have mostly worked in the charity sector. My CV looked OK when I was younger: I started as a media officer, then became a comms manager, then secured Head Teams roles in marketing and comms.

However when I got to 40 my long term health issues (endometriosis, a history of depression) got much worse, I needed time off for various surgeries and I struggled at work.

I had to work part-time and ended leaving several roles one after the other because of my health or because I was being bullied when I was struggling with my health rather than being supported.Three years ago I had a complete mental and physical breakdown and was at the point where I was thinking of taking my own life. I took some time off sick and went back to work but the atmosphere was toxic and they did every thing they could to push me out. I made a complaint for disability discrimination and they paid me off to leave.

So my CV has gaps and some 'job hoping' but at the same time I no longer want to tolerate poor treatment in a job. My health is more important.

I don't think everyone has the perfect work history anyway these days.

I am aware that care or education work would not be suitable because of my patchy work history but in many other roles they usually just require references from most recent employers.

Well done for putting the boot in.

The OP is talking about leaving jobs due to toxic work environments.

Unless you are an employer encouraging a toxic work environment I don't see why this is a 'red flag'

Because if one job after another is ‘toxic’ then maybe the jobs are not the problem. As someone who hires a lot of people I would also see red flags and I don’t even interview people who have moved roles every couple of years. If you’re able to find new jobs easily or don’t need the money then by all means leave if you’re not happy, life is short afterall, but at some point some self reflection is probably needed. Everyone has to work with dickhead colleagues, managers etc at some point and you need to learn to tolerate annoyances and show some resilience rather than packing it in when things aren’t perfect.

I’ve never been diagnosed with any ND. I do have a lot of the characteristics of ADHD, but then some that contradict that. I am highly empathetic and feel things strongly, which is often a curse. I suffer from anxiety over some things, but remain really calm in situations others panic over. I was once told I have the rarest personality type on the Myers-Briggs personality test. I berate myself for my inability to ‘cope’ with work situations and lack of resilience to stay in jobs.

I’m sorry to hear this, I experience the same feelings you describe. I wonder what is wrong with me? I have so many skills, many colleagues come to me for help with admin tasks, I’ll muck in with tasks other colleagues wouldn’t dream of helping with - I cleaned the staff toilet the other day because everyone else was just waiting on the cleaning team to sort it at the end of the day.

I don’t want to leave positions within a year, I’d much rather find something suitable and stick to it. I’m tired of moving around, restarting and building bonds with colleagues. But, employers often dress jobs up and are not honest about what they entail.

I find there's always that one job that is as close to the ideal job you want that you had in the past. What's hard and disappointing is your current experience with jobs that fall short of your expectations. Whether you choose to stay or leave to pursue another one is tough either way. I'd much rather pursue happiness and pursue another opportunity even if it means going through some difficult times early on.