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[toastandbutter]

I've been working for my husband's business as a PA for the last 5 years but now want to return to my old career as a primary school teacher). I'm worried about using my husband as an employment reference for my job applications but think that it would look odd to not include my most recent employer on application forms. I think that some employers (county councils, etc) state that they will not accept family/friends as a reference. Any ideas what I should do. Would be very grateful for advice.

Well you need to put your last job on there, right?! I guess just not use for references if that's what they state on the form. When you get an interview, you can give them a choice of contacting him for his professional opinion of you? You will still be able to get references from previous employers, so it shouldn't be a problem and I'm sure if somewhere likes you, they'll accept personal references from somepeople too.

So you think that I should leave it up to them to decide if they want to use a personal referee as an employment reference?

I would say put him down, but explain on the CV/application form that you have been working for the family business. When they say that they will not accept family/friends as a reference, they mean that they will not accept a 'character reference'. If your last employer is a family member, just put them down as normal. The local authority can then decide whether they want to take up the reference or not. If they do, they will obviously assume it will be glowing!

Where you might get into trouble is if you don't make the family connection clear. As long as you do that, just fill in the form and put the decision on their shoulders. I might also be inclined to offer an additional referee from a previous position, even if not requested, so that they do have someone neutral to go to.

What Ribena said.

Put him down, as you say, it will look odd if you don't include most recent employer, but make the connection clear and make sure you offer someone else suitable as well.

Thanks, Ribena and Flowery, that sounds like the best idea. Luckily, I do have two good previous employment references which they can use instead, if need be. Do you think that working in the family business may go against me in job applications?
I'm just thinking of them assuming worst possible scenarios: I was sacked from previous job; I've really been unemployed for 5 years; I'm pretending that I've had a more senior position. None of these are true- I ended up with slightly more pay plus a much shorter work commute and he got a PA who did the job of 2 people for the price of one (that's partly why I want to leave!)

I don't think it would necessarily go against you, some may view it as being 'worth' slightly less than a similar position in a big company, as you may have got it because you are family not because you were the best candidate iyswim? Not suggesting that's the case but you take my point.

But you won't be able to fudge 5 years of experience - in an interview you will be able to talk convincingly about your skills and achievements in this most recent job, which you couldn't really do if you were pretending to be on a more senior level than you were.

If you have two good previous employment references as well that's a big plus, it makes everything much more credible.

Best of luck!

What Flowery said.

They may want to explore the skill set and experience of your current role a bit more than usual rather than take it at face value, but it shouldn't count against you as such. Plenty of people work for family businesses and then move out again.

Do be prepared to explain why you want to leave though. Try to make it as 'business like' as possible. If you can, talk about developing skill sets, seeking out new opportunities and challenges and that type of thing. They might be slightly surpised that you want to leave such a position, and you need to make it clear that taking it was a legitimate career move and so is this one - nothing about wanting an easy ride or whatever (and that shoudl all come easily, because it's clearly true!).

(I'm going to get myself a little badge made saying 'What Ribena said' )

Yes Flowery, my big worry is that they may think I've had an easy ride. Will have a good think about which points are worth emphasizing. In many ways it's been harder than a 'real' job as I've had to cope with a lot more responsibility that was very stressful at times and not much support when needed. Am sure I can prove that I've done the things on my CV so I'll just have to be confident at interviews and not act like I'm sort of apologising. Thanks a lot!

You can certainly emphasise the extra issues and responsibilities you've had to take on because it's a family business - it's one of those things where it's possible they might initially wonder whether you got the job because you are family, but then when you talk to them, will realise that actually it's definitely not any more of an easy ride at all, in fact more difficult.

And definitely don't act apologetic, you're right, be confident about the things you have achieved!

(Can I have one saying 'What Flowery said' ?)

Certainly!